How would you deal with this gay bashing?

  • Sparkycat

    Posts: 1064

    Nov 02, 2008 12:56 AM GMT
    I'm curious to know how other guys might handle a gay bashing incident I'm experiencing. I mowed my lawn, and decided not to wear a shirt, thus exposing my nipple and navel piercings to the world. Also the gay pride tattoo on the back of my neck (complex celtic triangle with rainbow colors backed by a pink triangle). A short time later my next door neighbor painted "FAG" on his driveway in big white letters. I assume it is directed at me. I decided to ignore it because he's an asshole and not worth my time. I assume he's trying to antagonize me, and that's not going to happen. What would you do? Confront him? Call the police? File a complaint with the city human rights commission? Ignore it?

    I think I might paint a big pink triangle on my driveway.

    Cameron
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    Nov 02, 2008 1:48 AM GMT
    Since he painted it on his driveway, I would ignore it...It says more about him than you. As time goes by, the other neighbors will either stop noticing it....or it will grate on their nerves and they will become increasingly hostile towards him.....who wants that in the neighborhood!

    or..

    If there is a hate crime law in your city/state, you might want to consult your city councilman or state representative and see if this is hate speech. Doesnt seem that you should have to live a life with such a pejorative staring you in the face all the time.....What if you were black, would people tolerate his painting "nigger" on the driveway? I doubt it. Freedom of speech doesnt cover harassment.
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    Nov 02, 2008 1:50 AM GMT
    have you considered painting "I'm A" above his paint job?
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    Nov 02, 2008 1:52 AM GMT
    This is the state of Iowa. No gay hate crime laws apply. Our Sparkycat doesn't have a lot of legal options.
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    Nov 02, 2008 1:56 AM GMT


    You're right Red Vespa, we went through something similar with worse results and there ARE laws in our country.
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    Nov 02, 2008 2:01 AM GMT
    I grew up in Indiana. I know how the midwest is.

    You can ignore it and go on with your day. You could also just throw a big party in your front lawn. Excessively use the word 'FAG' or 'FAGGOT' all day with your friends. That way he realizes it's just a word.

    When me and my partner are out in public, if anyone gives us shit. We usually yell 'FAGGOT' and kiss right in front of them. It gets their attention and it gets them to shut up.
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    Nov 02, 2008 2:05 AM GMT
    meninlove said

    You're right Red Vespa, we went through something similar with worse results and there ARE laws in our country.


    Your country being Canada, I should point out. Where gay hate crime laws do exist. Versus the US, where no national laws exist, and state and local laws against hate crimes are spotty, their enactment being strongly opposed by Republicans.

    Incidentally, I'd like to hear from RJ Republicans about their party's consistent opposition to gay hate crime laws. Do they have a rationalization for why their party has blocked gay hate crime legislation at every level of US government?
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    Nov 02, 2008 2:14 AM GMT


    Hey Red Vespa,

    You said,
    "Your country being Canada, I should point out. Where gay hate crime laws do exist."

    That's correct, but we still had to sell our home at a huge loss and I lost both jobs as they began stalking me at work. There's a helluva a lot more that went on but some found it vastly amusing, so we'll email you about it instead.

    -Doug
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    Nov 02, 2008 2:16 AM GMT
    Sparkycat said
    I think I might paint a big pink triangle on my driveway.


    I like that idea. Also I find it funny that he tried to gay bash you but to everyone else, it looks like someone gay bashed him.
  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Nov 02, 2008 2:32 AM GMT
    Just ignore it.

    Besides, unless there is an arrow under/above fag pointed in yuour direction it makes it sound like it refferes to whoever is living in *his* house.
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    Nov 02, 2008 2:38 AM GMT
    I personally think that due to where he painted it, you should take it as a mating call, log on to manhunt, and give someone his address. He'll appreciate you for it.
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    Nov 02, 2008 2:38 AM GMT
    meninlove said

    Hey Red Vespa,

    You said,
    "Your country being Canada, I should point out. Where gay hate crime laws do exist."

    That's correct, but we still had to sell our home at a huge loss and I lost both jobs as they began stalking me at work. There's a helluva a lot more that went on but some found it vastly amusing, so we'll email you about it instead.

    -Doug


    And of course I didn't mean to dismiss or diminish what happened to you. I look forward to your email, though I know it will upset me to hear the details.

    My point being to reinforce that if this could happen to you in Canada, then what should we expect in the US, with a national government that is hostile to gay rights. Hopefully this will change in January 2009.

    I continue to invite RJ Republicans to state & defend their party's official position opposing the enactment of gay hate crime laws in the US.
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    Nov 02, 2008 7:03 AM GMT
    mate, I'd personally, ignore it, if you get riled up or try to get anything back at him, it shows hes done something to effect you, in the end, thats what he wants to do.

    Just ignore him and go on about your life, he isn't important in it.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Nov 02, 2008 10:19 AM GMT
    He wrote it on his driveway .. which is weird when you thik about it
    So you're really going to have to ignore it
    For now
    That doesn't mean if he escalates it that you continue to ignore it
    I'd check with you local and state governments what rights that you do have
    and I'd watch this guy like a hawk
    because most likely he won't stop here
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    Nov 02, 2008 1:06 PM GMT
    Try this: get someone you know, but whom your neighbor doesn't know, to approach this guy.

    "Say, aren't you the guy who has 'FAG' written on his driveway?"

    "Yep."

    "Have you reported it to the police? That's terrible what someone did to you. Any idea who it was?"

    "No, I wrote it myself, I'm not a fag! My neighbor's the fucking fag!"

    "Oh, OK, cause everybody I talked to thought YOU'RE the fag and somebody else wrote that there to insult you."

    Next day the FAG will be gone from his driveway. Or else he'll add an arrow pointing your way, in which case you can charge him with harassment.
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    Nov 02, 2008 1:31 PM GMT
    Here's another variation on what I wrote above: you send a letter to the editor of your local newspaper.

    "Iowa should enact laws to prevent gay hate crimes and harassment. Recently someone painted a gay hate word on my neighbor's driveway in large white letters (it rhymes with "rag"). I wasn't even aware my neighbor is gay, but even if he is, it should be unacceptable in our community to publicly identify and vilify those who are. Iowans are decent and friendly people, and we should not allow this kind of hate to ruin our good reputation."
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    Nov 02, 2008 2:49 PM GMT
    Runninchlt saidI personally think that due to where he painted it, you should take it as a mating call, log on to manhunt, and give someone his address. He'll appreciate you for it.


    maybe he is a "fag" and has an account in manhunt, but he is just one of those self-hating-homophobic-gay-guy. did that make sense icon_question.gif
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    Nov 02, 2008 3:00 PM GMT
    Alert the press and let him open his mouth to the local and national spotlight on camera. Attention in the press can be very humbling, particularly when one is an idiot.
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    Nov 02, 2008 3:05 PM GMT
    You could leave him a note-- "I saw what someone wrote on your driveway, and I just wanted to know that as your neighbor I welcome you regardless of your sexual orientation. If you ever need anything, please let me know." What's he gonna do with that?
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    Nov 02, 2008 3:10 PM GMT
    dfrw saidAlert the press and let him open his mouth to the local and national spotlight. One only need to look at Joe the Plumber to see evidence of that.


    That depends if our friend Sparkycat/Cameron wants that kind of national and local attention brought upon himself as being gay. His neighbor would naturally identify Cameron as the "fag" he dislikes.

    It's one thing to be out in the sense of not hiding it, another to be known nationally for nothing else. Even to be subjected to media attention these days for any reason, the gay issue aside, can cause unexpected consequences for a person, sometimes good, sometimes bad.
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Nov 02, 2008 3:13 PM GMT
    What idiot defaces his own property with a slur?

    Don't do anything everyone in the neighborhood will think a couple of 16 year olds caught him with gay porn and wrote that.

    What a moron.
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    Nov 02, 2008 3:17 PM GMT
    DCEric saidWhat idiot defaces his own property with a slur?


    What a moron.


    Indeed.
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    Nov 02, 2008 3:17 PM GMT
    You should take a picture of it.
  • txsin

    Posts: 34

    Nov 02, 2008 3:45 PM GMT
    Being in the military (which is why I don't have a full pic on here) I've learned that you have to be strong and you cannot let things get to you, and if you do something in retaliation, make sure you go all out.
  • txsin

    Posts: 34

    Nov 02, 2008 3:49 PM GMT
    tactfully though...