Please help! I Need Advice: Im Having A Very Hard Time BOTTOMING

  • FunkyJay45

    Posts: 31

    Jun 16, 2013 1:50 AM GMT
    I've had sex many times before however, I wouldn't call myself an experienced bottom because I don't have sex very often.

    I've been sexually active since 2008 but I only have sex once evey 4-6 months so my anal hole is ALWAYS very tight. Before of the long layout between sexual encounters, when I have sex it always feels like im being penetrated for the very first time. I haven't found someone who im comfortable with to have sex with on a consistent basis. Im always having sex with random hookups who never take their time with me

    I'm assuming if I was in a relationship and having sex on a consistent basis (frequent anal sex) I would be able to take dyck better.

    I keep turning guys (tops) down because I know I won't be able to please them sexually and anal sex has been painful for me lately

    I play with my dildo every night when im alone to help loosen myself up. I use lots of lube before penetrating myself with my dildo but it still feels pretty painful and sometimes im not able to get it all the way in. It is a big dildo though.

    Im a total bottom topping doesn't turn me on so that's not an option. I have gone 7 months without sex by choice. I just dont know what to do. I dont think taking dyck is the problem anymore... the problem for me is enjoying it. I always get that strong urge to use the restroom when im being penetrated. Is there anything I can do to get more enjoyment and pleasure out of anal sex?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 16, 2013 1:57 AM GMT
    Anal sex is not a requirement to be gay. Not everyone likes it.
  • FunkyJay45

    Posts: 31

    Jun 16, 2013 2:07 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidAnal sex is not a requirement to be gay. Not everyone likes it.


    Are there things I can do to make the experience more enjoyable
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 16, 2013 2:23 AM GMT
    This required two threads? What, one for each cheek?

    Look, just ask yourself this: does getting fucked in the ass make your dick hard?

    When you masturbate, does fantasizing someone fucking you make you orgasm?

    Pay attention to and follow your thoughts when you pleasure yourself, that's your orientation and your preference.

    If your fantasy is not getting fucked in the ass, then no amount of shoving a dildo up there will turn you into a bottom. Just like shoving a dildo up your ass won't turn you into a heterosexual either.
  • FunkyJay45

    Posts: 31

    Jun 16, 2013 2:30 AM GMT
    theantijock saidThis required two threads? What, one for each cheek?

    Look, just ask yourself this: does getting fucked in the ass make your dick hard?

    When you masturbate, does fantasizing someone fucking you make you orgasm?

    Pay attention to and follow your thoughts when you pleasure yourself, that's your orientation and your preference.

    If your fantasy is not getting fucked in the ass, then no amount of shoving a dildo up there will turn you into a bottom. Just like shoving a dildo up your ass won't turn you into a heterosexual either.


    Uhmmmm in case you didn't notice... the two threads I created were about two totally different things

    icon_rolleyes.gif

    In one I asked if it's possible to go form being a bottom to a top. In this thread I asked for advice on how to prepare for having anal sex so that I can enjoy it better

    When I masturbate I often times masturbate about other things not involving sex like uhmmm... being disrespected... i like being dominated.. being dominated by men turn me on... it doesnt always have to be sexual domination it could be verbal or mental domination
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jun 16, 2013 2:42 AM GMT
    FunkyJay45 said
    theantijock saidThis required two threads? What, one for each cheek?

    Look, just ask yourself this: does getting fucked in the ass make your dick hard?

    When you masturbate, does fantasizing someone fucking you make you orgasm?

    Pay attention to and follow your thoughts when you pleasure yourself, that's your orientation and your preference.

    If your fantasy is not getting fucked in the ass, then no amount of shoving a dildo up there will turn you into a bottom. Just like shoving a dildo up your ass won't turn you into a heterosexual either.


    Uhmmmm in case you didn't notice... the two threads I created were about two totally different things

    icon_rolleyes.gif

    In one I asked if it's possible to go form being a bottom to a top. In this thread I asked for advice on how to prepare for having anal sex so that I can enjoy it better

    When I masturbate I often times masturbate about other things not involving sex like uhmmm... being disrespected... i like being dominated.. being dominated by men turn me on... it doesnt always have to be sexual domination it could be verbal or mental domination

    You just need to find a bottom who's going to verbally
    dominate you and treat you like a dildo, like the gay dominatrix type. You'll probably get hard for that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 16, 2013 2:50 AM GMT
    Well that certainly complicates it with a layer that I'm not sure is quite the same thing as sexual preference with regard to how your body functions.

    In other words, you could be into domination with no sex--try working a corporate job, maybe that will do it for you-- domination with anal sex, domination with oral sex, whatever. So, again, you need to strip away that layer for at least a bit so that you understand what is your sexuality. I'm not into that scene but I would imagine that even there people must respect limits and I would think that includes consideration of the other guy's sexual preferences.

    And even if you are into stretching your limits, I'd imagine that if some guy wanted you as an amputee and starts to hack off your limbs, you might want to put a stop on that. So then if anal sex disturbs you, then even if you are into domination why couldn't that be your limit? Seems to me if someone doesn't respect that, then that person doesn't get to play that role.
  • NeuralShock

    Posts: 411

    Jun 16, 2013 4:01 AM GMT
    Speaking out of personal experience to loosen up I need to fully trust the guy.

    I'm really, extremely, choosey when it comes to bottoming. My friends know if I actually bent over for someone that they must be like superfreakingamazingawesommewowwtfgoodguy.

    But even then I enjoy to be rimmed beforehand, the whole foreplay thing I guess. Then I start to loosen up.