"Somethings Missing" from BF's Life

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    Jun 17, 2013 2:34 AM GMT
    My BF told me this weekend that he needs to get a hobby and make more friends since he's often bored when he comes home from work?, which I kind of agreed with but he followed it up by saying something was missing from his life but didn't know what.icon_confused.gif

    I'm slightly worried about this since it could be more (or maybe not) I told him to develop his interests and join Meetup.com or something. I want to help him find what is "missing" but I don't really know what it is either since he has a good job, a steady income now, nice apartment and me.... Only thing might be widen his group of friends like he said.

    How should I go about this. I don't want to seem too pushy to get him to develop his interests since it might be something which is up to him. idk...

    Any advice?
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jun 17, 2013 2:41 AM GMT
    Get into a huge emotional fight and say things to each other that you both regret. Then feel really bad about it and realize that you're better off together, and you love each other. Then have makeup sex.icon_smile.gif
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    Jun 17, 2013 2:54 AM GMT
    / Hopefully that's a joke... we don't really fight anyway and have been together for awhile now
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jun 17, 2013 2:57 AM GMT
    Ehanson said/ Hopefully that's a joke... we don't really fight anyway and have been together for awhile now


    Lol, how long have you been together?
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jun 17, 2013 2:58 AM GMT
    Your profile says you're single.icon_confused.gif
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    Jun 17, 2013 3:00 AM GMT
    HottJoe saidYour profile says you're single.icon_confused.gif


    Opps! Not anymore, haven't been to RJ for a while. Updated now
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    Jun 17, 2013 3:00 AM GMT
    Why don't you guys do stuff together? I certainly hope you guys just don't sit around and do nothing when you're at home. icon_neutral.gif
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    Jun 17, 2013 3:21 AM GMT
    Sometimes ppl get in routines and get a lil wiered out. Keep the communication open, listen and give him space. At the same time it's the beginning of summer, plan a trip to do something that will make you feel alive, spark intrest and bond thru the experience.
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    Jun 17, 2013 4:19 AM GMT
    yeah as long as you guys are honest and open with each other. doesn't matter how long you've been together. relationships are about compromise.
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    Jun 17, 2013 4:28 AM GMT
    hmm...
    I think he is not happy with his job or at least he's not satisfied with it.
    That's why he wants to have a hobby.
    I think what missing is his life is 'passion'.

    A lot can be inferred from your little information, perhaps it can be broken down to find out the root cause if you give more information about your bf.
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    Jun 17, 2013 4:40 AM GMT
    xrichx saidWhy don't you guys do stuff together? I certainly hope you guys just don't sit around and do nothing when you're at home. icon_neutral.gif


    This. Maybe go on an adventure together?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Jun 17, 2013 3:52 PM GMT
    No, I think your instincts are right. He has to find it for himself but that doesn't mean you can't be right next to him when he does. Just stay open and receptive. Don't push him but keep him talking.
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    Jun 17, 2013 4:45 PM GMT
    Ehanson saidMy BF told me this weekend that he needs to get a hobby and make more friends since he's often bored when he comes home from work?, which I kind of agreed with but he followed it up by saying something was missing from his life but didn't know what.icon_confused.gif

    I'm slightly worried about this since it could be more (or maybe not) I told him to develop his interests and join Meetup.com or something. I want to help him find what is "missing" but I don't really know what it is either since he has a good job, a steady income now, nice apartment and me.... Only thing might be widen his group of friends like he said.

    How should I go about this. I don't want to seem too pushy to get him to develop his interests since it might be something which is up to him. idk...

    Any advice?


    Tell him you feel the same way and get out and meet new people and do things without him. I think he is saying he needs space. But communicate that it's now an open relationship.
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    Jun 17, 2013 6:24 PM GMT
    This is what people (gay and straight) say when they are really bored with a relationship.

    Sounds like the beginning of the end to me.

    Prepare yourself for the inevitable.
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    Jun 17, 2013 6:26 PM GMT
    I dunno, both my bf and I have gone through periods of this in our 26+ years together and the issue was not each other. I say keep talking to him, encouraging him to get out of his comfort zone and do new and different things. If he is feeling at all constrained by the relationship, you're much more likely to keep it together by letting go a bit than by tightening the reins.

    Good luck.
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    Jun 17, 2013 6:56 PM GMT
    It does ,as another member said, sound like the beginning to the end but one can never really know in situations like this- so don't worry yourself.

    My advice to you would be to be supportive in his effort to find out whats missing in his life. Try doing this subtly to avoid coming off as being pushy and make more personal thoughtful suggestions as to where he can start instead of suggesting meetup.com, he is after all your boyfriend so you would know what would be a good place for him to start.

    hope this helps
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    Jun 17, 2013 7:10 PM GMT
    Ja, das ist richtig.

    Aristoshark saidWenn er sagt: Ich liebe dich, aber etwas fehlt, ist das Ende nahe

    Just sayin'.


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    Jun 17, 2013 7:12 PM GMT
    What are you, Larry King's marriage counselor?

    Alpha13 said
    Ehanson saidMy BF told me this weekend that he needs to get a hobby and make more friends since he's often bored when he comes home from work?, which I kind of agreed with but he followed it up by saying something was missing from his life but didn't know what.icon_confused.gif

    I'm slightly worried about this since it could be more (or maybe not) I told him to develop his interests and join Meetup.com or something. I want to help him find what is "missing" but I don't really know what it is either since he has a good job, a steady income now, nice apartment and me.... Only thing might be widen his group of friends like he said.

    How should I go about this. I don't want to seem too pushy to get him to develop his interests since it might be something which is up to him. idk...

    Any advice?


    Tell him you feel the same way and get out and meet new people and do things without him. I think he is saying he needs space. But communicate that it's now an open relationship.
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    Jun 17, 2013 7:18 PM GMT
    Ehanson saidMy BF told me this weekend that he needs to get a hobby and make more friends since he's often bored when he comes home from work? Any advice?


    Where are you when he gets home from work? What do you guys do together? Go for walks, jogs, join a gym together, bike ride, join a book club, start a hobby you two can do together. Damn, there are a gazillion things to do.

    Bored people are usually boring people.
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    Jun 17, 2013 9:46 PM GMT
    Basically what he is saying is that he wants to sleep around with other men and isn't about that strapped down life
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    Jun 17, 2013 9:51 PM GMT
    Meetup.com?

    Is it 2003?

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    Jun 18, 2013 1:40 AM GMT
    arijan_arr saidBasically what he is saying is that he wants to sleep around with other men and isn't about that strapped down life


    No, that's not at all what I got from him. Better not have meant that it took me long enough to find someone like him, I don't think he meant that (the only reason I could think he would do that is because I'm going through a financial rough spot which he's been understanding of; that would be a bit immature to dump someone about)

    What I got is he needs to develop hobbies and make new/ more friends. We don't live together yet but he's saving up so we can put a deposit down on a place together (apartments have crazy stipulations in NYC). When he gets home it's watching TV, browsing Facebook and other stuff like that... get's boring if that's all you're doing after work.

    I agree with GAMRican, he needs to shake up his routine. We need to go on a summer trip or something together.
  • heyom

    Posts: 389

    Jun 18, 2013 1:45 AM GMT
    Aristoshark said^^Worst advice ever.


    lol