My friends BF

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    Jun 17, 2013 7:11 PM GMT
    I was at my friends place for dinner, after dinner his BF came home from work and went straight into the shower. My friends sister called him and he needed to go to her so he asked me to stay until he got back.

    When his Bf got out the shower, he came into the living room in his towel and asked where my friend had gone- I told him. So he left the room. He then came back in the room and dropped his towel.

    It was awkward and I pretended not to notice or be surprised and continued watching Tv. He said he really liked how I looked now since I lost the weight and him and my friend had been having some trouble in the relationship. I told him I had to leave and I did.

    Problem is, Do i tell my friend what happened?
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    Jun 17, 2013 8:36 PM GMT


    I would think you'll have to tell your friend something, after all he asked you to stay until he came back, and when he came back you'd already left, right?

    Has your friend not asked why you left before he returned?
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    Jun 17, 2013 9:30 PM GMT
    You totally missed out on a hot lay. Shame on you!
  • jackooh

    Posts: 109

    Jun 17, 2013 10:02 PM GMT
    Do you really have to ask that? Tell him you queefface!
  • WApilot

    Posts: 191

    Jun 18, 2013 7:49 AM GMT
    He is your friend, right? Are you really asking this question? icon_rolleyes.gif
    tumblr_inline_mi23rcvWsl1qz4rgp.gif
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    Jun 18, 2013 9:02 AM GMT
    This morning when he called to ask why I'd left I told him what had happened and he just hung up, then texted me a while later calling me a disgruntled liar because I came on to his man and left when I was rejected. He wont answer any of my calls or texts now and the BF just laughed when he saw me at the store this morning.

    In theory it seems easy to tell a friend his BF kind of flirted with me while in his birthday suit, in reality its not that easy. The truth was suppose to set me free now it makes me look like a douchebag friend who hit on my friends BF and got rejected. All our other friends believe me except him- he called and told everyone which I think was wrong but whats done is done.

    Anyway I guess he'll have to catch his man cheating before he will be able to forgive me for something I didn't do. Relationships are complicated.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3525

    Jun 18, 2013 9:56 AM GMT
    i would totally fuck the bf and film it and send it to him. and defriend him.
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    Jun 18, 2013 10:08 AM GMT
    Apparition saidi would totally fuck the bf and film it and send it to him. and defriend him.


    best advice so far lol
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    Jun 18, 2013 11:11 AM GMT
    Sounds like your friend is in a messed up relationship, and is clearly in denial. Unfortunately, he's projecting his anger about his messed up relationship onto you.

    Not much you can do about it, except give him and the bf a wide berth until things blow over. There is some toxicity there that you don't want to get caught up in. If he really is a true friend, he will recognize that he was wrong to malign you. Focus on spending time with your other friends in the meantime.
  • WApilot

    Posts: 191

    Jun 18, 2013 6:11 PM GMT
    GoldenBrown saidThis morning when he called to ask why I'd left I told him what had happened and he just hung up, then texted me a while later calling me a disgruntled liar because I came on to his man and left when I was rejected. He wont answer any of my calls or texts now and the BF just laughed when he saw me at the store this morning.

    In theory it seems easy to tell a friend his BF kind of flirted with me while in his birthday suit, in reality its not that easy. The truth was suppose to set me free now it makes me look like a douchebag friend who hit on my friends BF and got rejected. All our other friends believe me except him- he called and told everyone which I think was wrong but whats done is done.

    Anyway I guess he'll have to catch his man cheating before he will be able to forgive me for something I didn't do. Relationships are complicated.


    Here's the thing, if your friend doesn't believe you, he was never a real friend. You did the right thing, it's not black and white, you should have told him, you did, he didn't like your words, so it's all on him now. When his relationship ends, he will know who was the good person in all of this, you and nobody can ever take that away from you.

    YOU DID THE RIGHT THING, if he can't see that, that's not your problem. So you lost a friend, again, it's obvious he wasn't a close friend.
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    Jun 18, 2013 8:38 PM GMT
    DanOmatic saidSounds like your friend is in a messed up relationship, and is clearly in denial. Unfortunately, he's projecting his anger about his messed up relationship onto you.

    Not much you can do about it, except give him and the bf a wide berth until things blow over. There is some toxicity there that you don't want to get caught up in. If he really is a true friend, he will recognize that he was wrong to malign you. Focus on spending time with your other friends in the meantime.


    This is a great answer, best steer clear. I doubt this will be the last drama in this "relationship".
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    Jun 18, 2013 9:00 PM GMT
    I take the opposite view; there are many things that you don't need to tell friends. I can't help but think that people feel the need to tell people other stuff that they don't need to know because of television; there are lots of messed up values promoted by television. Adds to the drama and makes things more entertaining.

    For example, I have an older friend whose husband told me that he cheated on her many years ago. But he isn't any more, because the opportunities aren't there like they used to be and he's a geezer. If I were to tell her I don't doubt that it would seriously damage their marriage. And what would be the point?

    I could see telling your friend if he and his boyfriend were in a long term relationship and having unsafe sex and you found out that his boyfriend was having unsafe sex with other guys. But in this case I think prudence dictates letting him find out on his own. And, as usual, hindsight is 20 20.
  • toybrian

    Posts: 395

    Jun 18, 2013 9:04 PM GMT
    Golden, you did the right thing so do not beat yourself up over this. He made the pass at you and you said no so feel proud. If you said yes you would have gotten caught and lost a friend . He has to come around or other wise you lost a friend but not your pride. Good luck..
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    Jun 18, 2013 9:05 PM GMT
    I'm sorry you lost your friend.
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    Jun 19, 2013 4:45 PM GMT
    Thanks for all the advice guys, strange how I all I needed to do was vent to strangers to realize that all of that is not worth the drama. I have better things to do then worry about the naive bud and the man with the wandering wand.

    Moments like this are a true test of friendship, Glad I know that I can choose the meaningful principle approach. Time to invest in relationships that are worth while
  • WApilot

    Posts: 191

    Jun 19, 2013 4:51 PM GMT
    GoldenBrown saidThanks for all the advice guys, strange how I all I needed to do was vent to strangers to realize that all of that is not worth the drama. I have better things to do then worry about the naive bud and the man with the wandering wand.

    Moments like this is a true test of friendship, Glad I know that I can choose the meaningful principle approach. Time to invest in relationships that are worth while


    Cheers!

    My boyfriend lost a friend in the past due to the guys husband being a jerk. My BF's friend stuck up for his partner even though everyone around him was telling him, how much of a douche he was.

    Long story short, my BF and his friend lost contact but over the last several months they've reconnected, the guys partner has died, but he's just now realizing how much control his partner had over him. My boyfriend said exactly what you said, you really know who your true friends are in these kind of moments.
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    Jun 19, 2013 4:57 PM GMT
    GoldenBrown saidThis morning when he called to ask why I'd left I told him what had happened and he just hung up, then texted me a while later calling me a disgruntled liar because I came on to his man and left when I was rejected. He wont answer any of my calls or texts now and the BF just laughed when he saw me at the store this morning.

    In theory it seems easy to tell a friend his BF kind of flirted with me while in his birthday suit, in reality its not that easy. The truth was suppose to set me free now it makes me look like a douchebag friend who hit on my friends BF and got rejected. All our other friends believe me except him- he called and told everyone which I think was wrong but whats done is done.

    Anyway I guess he'll have to catch his man cheating before he will be able to forgive me for something I didn't do. Relationships are complicated.


    But you did the right thing by warning him about his piece of shit boyfriend. Usually the right thing isn't the easy thing.
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    Jun 19, 2013 5:03 PM GMT
    Don't worry he was never your friend anyway.

    1. If he was your friend, you would of told him as soon as it happened
    2. If he was your friend, he would have believed you.

    The only thing you've lost is whatever effort you put in over the course of knowing him.
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    Jun 19, 2013 5:10 PM GMT
    melbourne92 saidDon't worry he was never your friend anyway.

    1. If he was your friend, you would of told him as soon as it happened
    2. If he was your friend, he would have believed you.

    The only thing you've lost is whatever effort you put in over the course of knowing him.



    you're probably right...I lost someone I thought I knew, when did we lose ourselves in our partners? its all good to fall in love and shack up but its no excuse for being a bitch to yourself.

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    Jun 19, 2013 5:29 PM GMT
    If you had a stronger standing you would had handle all this with a snap , these are all just bunch soap opera drama.

    first of all you shouldn't feel bad when he (your friend) has issue, second if you'd known his character you would have cleverly not tell him anyway just walk away like nothing ever happen.

    To be honest OP there are bunch of clowns in this world and you got to be aware of them. Know your standing! why bother about his bf, when your own friend has such shallow mind...
    Well I don't know you probably:
    a. you could be a little hotter than him.icon_smile.gif
    or
    b. you are somewhat a player like persona... which I kinda doubt.

    Anyway why bother, these are all bunch of cheapskate buggers why bothering them now on, know your standing.

    *Sometime in life you need to be a little more Diva. I mean like the Alicia Keys kind... Not Nicki Minaj type get it icon_wink.gif
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    Jun 19, 2013 8:13 PM GMT

    Shawnathan said, " It would have ended badly whether you'd been honest or if you'd lied about it, but at least you can sleep at night when you're honest."

    Yep. icon_wink.gif
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    Jun 19, 2013 8:48 PM GMT
    GoldenBrown saidThis morning when he called to ask why I'd left I told him what had happened and he just hung up, then texted me a while later calling me a disgruntled liar because I came on to his man and left when I was rejected. He wont answer any of my calls or texts now and the BF just laughed when he saw me at the store this morning.

    In theory it seems easy to tell a friend his BF kind of flirted with me while in his birthday suit, in reality its not that easy. The truth was suppose to set me free now it makes me look like a douchebag friend who hit on my friends BF and got rejected. All our other friends believe me except him- he called and told everyone which I think was wrong but whats done is done.

    Anyway I guess he'll have to catch his man cheating before he will be able to forgive me for something I didn't do. Relationships are complicated.


    You don't watch enough Lifetime television do you? If you did you would know you NEVER tell a girl her man came on to you! She will always side with her steady cock supply!

    Oh well, live and learn.

    Oh, and "The Truth Will Set You Free" is the biggest lie ever told. NO ONE EVER WANTS TO HEAR THE TRUTH DESPITE THEIR PROTESTATIONS TO THE CONTRARY.
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    Jun 19, 2013 9:39 PM GMT
    Stay clear of this train wreck. Your friend and his BF will soon destruct. Difficult to say whether your friend will accept the truth, and realize you were not to blame. If he doesn't, then he's a friend worth losing.
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    Jun 20, 2013 12:08 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    GoldenBrown saidThis morning when he called to ask why I'd left I told him what had happened and he just hung up, then texted me a while later calling me a disgruntled liar because I came on to his man and left when I was rejected. He wont answer any of my calls or texts now and the BF just laughed when he saw me at the store this morning.

    In theory it seems easy to tell a friend his BF kind of flirted with me while in his birthday suit, in reality its not that easy. The truth was suppose to set me free now it makes me look like a douchebag friend who hit on my friends BF and got rejected. All our other friends believe me except him- he called and told everyone which I think was wrong but whats done is done.

    Anyway I guess he'll have to catch his man cheating before he will be able to forgive me for something I didn't do. Relationships are complicated.


    You don't watch enough Lifetime television do you? If you did you would know you NEVER tell a girl her man came on to you! She will always side with her steady cock supply!

    Oh well, live and learn.

    Oh, and "The Truth Will Set You Free" is the biggest lie ever told. NO ONE EVER WANTS TO HEAR THE TRUTH DESPITE THEIR PROTESTATIONS TO THE CONTRARY.


    Here's the thing, though. Later in the topic the OP said that his friend wanted to know why he left before the friend returned (he'd been asked to stay and had agreed to).

    If he had said something like, "Oh I was tired and went home." and the friend's bf went ahead and said anyway that the OP had come on to him, the OP would still in the position he's in now.

    -intrigued
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    Jun 20, 2013 7:17 PM GMT
    meninlove saidHere's the thing, though. Later in the topic the OP said that his friend wanted to know why he left before the friend returned (he'd been asked to stay and had agreed to).

    If he had said something like, "Oh I was tired and went home." and the friend's bf went ahead and said anyway that the OP had come on to him, the OP would still in the position he's in now.

    -intrigued

    Sure, I agree that that could have happened, and given that the boyfriend is a quick thinker and conniving, more likely to have happened than less likely.
    But I still think it's better to not do something that can damage a relationship.
    Playing the whole thing out, suppose he just leaves and doesn't say anything to his friend and the boyfriend does tell his friend that he came on to him and his friend confronts him. He could then absolutely deny that in complete honesty and leave it at that. The boyfriend will know that he didn't tattle on him but will likely continue to undermine and eventually destroy their friendship. It's more or less a no win situation.
    If his friend and his boyfriend do eventually break up and he and his friend rekindle their friendship, I think he's in a better position and can then explain what really happened.
    Tattling on the boyfriend creates too much drama and will make repairing the friendship less likely.