Not This Again...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 18, 2013 2:07 AM GMT
    I know this is probably going to garner some trollish/moronic posts, but I have no one else to really discuss this with. I'm also going to state from the get go that I know there is probably nothing I can do about this except come out with the truth and ask, but that can't happen.

    The situation is that I have a crush on my brother's best friend. He comes by the house to use the gym all the time. Initially I didn't like having him around, I was actually annoyed by his presence, but the way he was constantly nice to me made me turn around on that idea. Eventually we became friendly over the years, and he's always nice and supportive of me.

    Sometimes we'd like talk about a lot of stuff, but this only really happens when we're the only ones in the room or it's just the two of us in the gym. And I constantly tell myself that I am imagining/making up the "signs" I believe I'm getting from him, because I know how these unrequited love scenarios can be painful. Even when I ignore the signs that I believe he gives, I go back to thinking that I've known him for like 6 years and he's never had like a solid girlfriend. He's older than me so he's late 20's. And he's such an all round good guy so it perplexes me why a girl wouldn't want him.

    Anyway, I know that there is no hope etc. etc. etc. so I'd just like some tips on how to crush this crush. It really annoys me to have these imaginary/hopeful thoughts running through my mind while knowing that it'll never happen.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 18, 2013 2:14 AM GMT
    Neight prescribes sex. Lots and lots of sex!
    Kidding. The best way to get rid of a crush is to find a new one, I think. I'm still working on crushing my crush as well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 18, 2013 2:23 AM GMT
    Neight saidNeight prescribes sex. Lots and lots of sex!
    Kidding. The best way to get rid of a crush is to find a new one, I think. I'm still working on crushing my crush as well.


    There's a lack of crushes that will actually reciprocate the feelings around here. However when I leave I may find someone new! Sigh, I guess I better just distract myself with as much other stuff as possible. It's just, he's always around and always wants to talk to me. It'd be kind of rude to try and cut myself off from him randomly. I tried for like a week and he noticed and brought it up. My other crush was easier to get rid of because we changed schools and I never saw him again.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jun 18, 2013 2:29 AM GMT
    Imagine youself with him and beat off ... when you're done the feeling should have passed
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 18, 2013 2:38 AM GMT
    Or you could... come clean and tell him. icon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gif
    If you do, let us know how it goes. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 18, 2013 3:53 AM GMT
    If he knows you are gay just tell him, and you two will get past it.

    If he doesn't know, just let it go, and never let your crush grow. You know the situation. You know the rational decision. It's all up to how you want to act on it.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Jun 18, 2013 3:30 PM GMT
    quick, someone give him the secret advice antidote
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Jun 18, 2013 4:01 PM GMT
    Did you really tag yourself as hot?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 18, 2013 4:06 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidDid you really tag yourself as hot?

    Even if he did, why does it matter? Just because you don't find him attractive?
  • LoveAndPeace

    Posts: 460

    Jun 18, 2013 4:07 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidDid you really tag yourself as hot?
    That was rude.
  • bumblejacket

    Posts: 66

    Jun 18, 2013 4:13 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidDid you really tag yourself as hot?


    THe OP is a good- looking youngster!

    To the OP, Are you out to your family and to that friend?
    Maybe as you said he is just a nice guy. I don't think beating off will shake that feeling off. You may be crossing a tough line because he is your brother's best friend and wow that can get ugly. But I guess if its meant to be it will be...
    I don't have any advice bro.
  • bumblejacket

    Posts: 66

    Jun 18, 2013 4:18 PM GMT
    WaytoDawn saidIf he knows you are gay just tell him, and you two will get past it.

    If he doesn't know, just let it go, and never let your crush grow. You know the situation. You know the rational decision. It's all up to how you want to act on it.


    This is a sound advice.
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Jun 18, 2013 4:35 PM GMT
    You're still young you're supposed to have unrequited crushes on friends/straight guys at work/ your cousins.

    There's nothing you can do that'll make the experience go away. You can either declare your feelings or ignore them and avoid being alone with this guy.

    Go out and fell in love with someone else (someone you know is Gay would be a good start).

    We have all been through this to some extent. It will get easier and time passing will change your feelings.

    Good luck

    Lozx
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 18, 2013 4:45 PM GMT
    Don't spend time with him. The more time you spend with him is like feeding a stray cat...they will keep coming back.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 18, 2013 4:47 PM GMT
    Also, beware of being guilted into the "mercy fuck".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 18, 2013 7:29 PM GMT
    GAMRican saidDon't spend time with him. The more time you spend with him is like feeding a stray cat...they will keep coming back.


    This.

    Keep your distance for a while. And go out to find someone who can love you back.

    Time, time, time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 18, 2013 7:42 PM GMT
    Be careful. The more you get to know him, the harder it'll be for you to get over this guy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 18, 2013 10:48 PM GMT
    well, ironically, the 'one song glory' in your profile mentions a boy who missed an opportunity. i say give a sign back, even if nothing happens - you'll know you gave it maybe the subtle but still a chance. icon_eek.gificon_idea.gificon_redface.gificon_question.gificon_eek.gif if he is not gay, he will never understand... like i don't understand what is the fun? read people's suggestions on what to do, when you don't have any need to do it? icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 18, 2013 10:49 PM GMT
    icon_twisted.gificon_eek.gificon_evil.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_question.gificon_evil.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_evil.gificon_twisted.gificon_idea.gif
  • jackooh

    Posts: 109

    Jun 18, 2013 10:58 PM GMT
    keep gradually getting more n more obvious that you fancy his face until he either gets freakin uncomfortable or jiggedy
  • danisnotstr8

    Posts: 2579

    Jun 19, 2013 1:54 AM GMT
    jackooh saidkeep gradually getting more n more obvious that you fancy his face until he either gets freakin uncomfortable or jiggedy


    This. I've never been shot down by a "straight" guy in this situation. Make it obvious. Tell him, even. Or suggest that he come over and work out with you. And then tell him it would be more like the real gym if you just shower together. LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 19, 2013 5:54 AM GMT
    Thanks for the advice and support (and maintaining no troll comments yet lol).

    I'm thinking of giving more hints that I'm interested in him, but I guess they have to be subtle in a way. Also, I'm not out to him or anyone, but I'm pretty sure people think I am just they don't want to bring it up or would rather pretend I'm not or whatever.

    I have tried before to see how he'd react to me offering for us to go see a movie. One time he was down for the two of us to go, but at the very last second he was like "did you ask your bro to come, because I didn't." And I was like WHY??? Another time, I asked him to go see something again, but he said he was broke and I offered to pay and he was all uptight. I can understand that one though because he is kind of this independent kind of guy.

    Anyway any suggestions on what hints WOULD work?

    PS: The following are things that he's done in the last two days to make me think he's interested or at least curious in some way (I think he may just want to talk about his sexuality or something because he doesn't seem to have anyone else to really talk to about things like that):

    He worked out in the gym shirtless after about a week of me trying to ignore him (like good way to get back my attention unintentionally lol)

    He asked me if I was on vacation/what I was doing in order to bring up my college plans, then basically said that I was the only guy he knew truly following his dreams and that he really liked that.

    Helped put on weights for the stuff I was going to use, then watched me squat and other stuff.

    After he finished in the gym, he came back in (not sure why) but then we ended up talking anyway.

    Showed me some videos of himself of something that he was training for (he showed me first, even though they weren't the best quality he insisted to show me)

    While I was within earshot (like sitting in the same room as him but not in the same conversation as him) he was talking about getting a massage, and how it'd be a "virgin massage" for him (he said that while looking at me).

    Out of the blue, he says to me "you know Shaun T is gay." That's the INSANITY guy by the way, he was doing INSANITY for a while a few months back, but like nothing even prompted that at all. I just reacted like I didn't care (that he was gay) and actually just brushed that gay aspect off completely.

    So as you all can probably tell, these signs are really annoying when it just seems to point in a certain direction. I took the advice to avoid him, but after that one week he made a huge splash back for my attention I just couldn't resist (the bareback workout omg). He actually made sure to bring up that he was working out bareback for a certain reason later on too. Also that week I was avoiding him, he seemed to notice... anyway, I know that this is just me going on a slippery slope of being pulled into something I have absolutely no control over, so it's best to quit early, but honestly the guy is an amazing guy and if he's interested I'd be a great catch. I've never had a BF or any guys into me before (no one's ever told me that I look good or anything like that) so I guess the idea that maybe someone nice could be into me is what keeps me going... pathetic I know.
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    Jun 19, 2013 5:57 AM GMT
    vitaliyvloan saidicon_twisted.gificon_eek.gificon_evil.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_question.gificon_evil.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_evil.gificon_twisted.gificon_idea.gif


    can-i-give-my-dog-midol.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 19, 2013 4:31 PM GMT
    Broseph saidThe Shaun T comment was your opening.

    I bet he has a post somewhere on another forum now complaining about this kid he keeps dropping signs for but who won't bite.

    Or you could be imagining it all...


    What kind of crazy opening is that lol. "Shaun T's gay?! What next, you're gay!?" Actually that doesn't sound as bad in my head as I thought it would have, but still, I have no idea how to drop my own hints. All I ever do is stare at him (when he's not watching), talk with him like a friend, and support him with whatever he's doing. I need to know how to drop real hints, I'm not an expert at this at all.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 19, 2013 4:59 PM GMT
    Ask him if he's found a missus yet and when he says no ask him why not. Maybe throw in a cheeky comment questioning his sexuality.