Bosses found out I am gay

  • chadwick1985

    Posts: 391

    Jun 19, 2013 11:57 PM GMT
    Great, something I've been trying to keep away from work and both of my bosses just told me they know I am gay. How did they do this you maybe wondering? They said 'don't know if you're single but we have a friend who is single and when we mentioned you to him he was excited and wants to meet you'.


    Not only did they let on they know about me but they're trying to hook me up with a gentleman in his early 50's. Ugh lol
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    Jun 20, 2013 12:07 AM GMT
    I think that great! It's another place you can feel comfortable in with all aspects of you life.

    It's cute that they're trying to set you up, but yeah, don't go for it cuz you obviously don't appreciate some of the hottest, more "together" men of any age bracket....but at least you referred to him as a "gentleman" icon_lol.gif
  • chadwick1985

    Posts: 391

    Jun 20, 2013 12:16 AM GMT
    GordHunter saidI think that great! It's another place you can feel comfortable in with all aspects of you life.

    It's cute that they're trying to set you up, but yeah, don't go for it cuz you obviously don't appreciate some of the hottest, more "together" men of any age bracket....but at least you referred to him as a "gentleman" icon_lol.gif



    I don't like to date with huge age differences because he and I are usually in two very different places in life which can lead to conflict.
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    Jun 20, 2013 12:26 AM GMT
    chadwick1985 said
    GordHunter saidI think that great! It's another place you can feel comfortable in with all aspects of you life.

    It's cute that they're trying to set you up, but yeah, don't go for it cuz you obviously don't appreciate some of the hottest, more "together" men of any age bracket....but at least you referred to him as a "gentleman" icon_lol.gif



    I don't like to date with huge age differences because he and I are usually in two very different places in life which can lead to conflict.


    True enough and a valid point, plus I'm sure you don't need any help finding dates icon_wink.gif
  • Fable

    Posts: 3866

    Jun 20, 2013 12:41 AM GMT
    they obviously don't care you're gay. get over yourself
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    Jun 20, 2013 12:55 AM GMT
    I hope they said, "Do you like older guys" instead of springing it on you. If they didn't, that's fucked up.
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    Jun 20, 2013 1:03 AM GMT
    at least they didn't say, "you're fired!"
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    Jun 20, 2013 1:06 AM GMT
    From what it sounds like, they just assumed it. icon_neutral.gif
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    Jun 20, 2013 1:40 AM GMT
    Congrats...I guess.
    --becoming more amusing to me when I'm asked to out someone.
    Not that I out them, more that I have to inform them everyone thinks they are gay.
    Even more amusing: the guy I pull aside is so clueless, to the extant he won't believe I'm gay.

    I say 'I guess,' because I feel the scales have already begone to sway in our direction and after SCUS rules in our favor, it may fairy well be a joke to "Come out".
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    Jun 20, 2013 1:50 AM GMT
    Broseph said
    willular saidat least they didn't say, "you're fired!"


    ^That. Still legal in ~29 states.

    So how did they find out?



    Agreed. I'd say the attempted hooking up means that mot only are they tolerating you but they've really accepted you.
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    Jun 20, 2013 2:12 AM GMT
    willular saidat least they didn't say, "you're fired!"


    Agreed. If they are trying to set you up, that implies that are being at least somewhat accepting, which is far better than the alternative.

    As for the set-up, just say "thanks for mentioning me, but I'm not really comfortable dating someone connected with my job/co-workers. I really appreciate the thought though!"

    Keep in mind that he could be a nice guy worthy of being friends with, if you make that clear upfront.
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    Jun 20, 2013 2:33 AM GMT
    chadwick1985 saidGreat, something I've been trying to keep away from work and both of my bosses just told me they know I am gay. How did they do this you maybe wondering? They said 'don't know if you're single but we have a friend who is single and when we mentioned you to him he was excited and wants to meet you'.


    Not only did they let on they know about me but they're trying to hook me up with a gentleman in his early 50's. Ugh lol

    I don't know how long you have been out (I suspect if it is a big deal that someone at work found out, not long), but you will find this happens a lot with straight friends and acquaintances. They know someone else that is gay and seem to think that is all it takes to make you two compatible.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Jun 20, 2013 3:51 AM GMT
    Iceblink said
    chadwick1985 saidGreat, something I've been trying to keep away from work and both of my bosses just told me they know I am gay. How did they do this you maybe wondering? They said 'don't know if you're single but we have a friend who is single and when we mentioned you to him he was excited and wants to meet you'.


    Not only did they let on they know about me but they're trying to hook me up with a gentleman in his early 50's. Ugh lol

    I don't know how long you have been out (I suspect if it is a big deal that someone at work found out, not long), but you will find this happens a lot with straight friends and acquaintances. They know someone else that is gay and seem to think that is all it takes to make you two compatible.


    Yep. Straight people have this notion that just because two men are gay it's gonna be a love connection. I've had people try to set me up before. I run away in the other direction.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jun 20, 2013 4:01 AM GMT
    That's funny that they tried to set you up. How did they find out?
  • chadwick1985

    Posts: 391

    Jun 20, 2013 4:03 AM GMT
    How they found out is beyond me.. In a way I am glad they know and don't haves an issue with it but its just awkward to have people you haven't wanted to tell because you weren't sure how they would react that makes it weird. Honestly im not sure if they will continuously keep trying to set me up or it it is a one time deal.
  • chadwick1985

    Posts: 391

    Jun 20, 2013 4:05 AM GMT
    PR_GMR said
    Iceblink said
    chadwick1985 saidGreat, something I've been trying to keep away from work and both of my bosses just told me they know I am gay. How did they do this you maybe wondering? They said 'don't know if you're single but we have a friend who is single and when we mentioned you to him he was excited and wants to meet you'.


    Not only did they let on they know about me but they're trying to hook me up with a gentleman in his early 50's. Ugh lol

    I don't know how long you have been out (I suspect if it is a big deal that someone at work found out, not long), but you will find this happens a lot with straight friends and acquaintances. They know someone else that is gay and seem to think that is all it takes to make you two compatible.


    Yep. Straight people have this notion that just because two men are gay it's gonna be a love connection. I've had people try to set me up before. I run away in the other direction.



    Yeah, blind dates are often a bad idea. Especially when set up by someone who doesn't really know you. I think it would be a bad idea no matter how olds the other guy was because if we don't work out, the other guy may make comments about you that would sway their professional opinion of you.
  • chadwick1985

    Posts: 391

    Jun 20, 2013 4:10 AM GMT
    fable saidthey obviously don't care you're gay. get over yourself



    Gee, thanks. Being as you probably don't work in the industry which is dominated with former military personnel I don't think you can understand the shock value and awkwardness of finding out your bosses know youre gay etc.

    What is even more awkward is how to tell them that I am not interested in going out with their friend and not offend them at the same time.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jun 20, 2013 4:12 AM GMT
    I hate when people do that with me ... he's gay, you're gay so it's a match ... NOT!

    I'm always like ... He must be a really good friend, that you are nice enough to see if I'd go on a date ... thanks, but I'm not really looking to meet anyone .... and honestly, they are still clueless.
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    Jun 20, 2013 8:01 AM GMT
    I would have said I was seeing someone, it usually works (but not always).