Post-Bottoming Therapy

  • MattyC0709

    Posts: 1199

    Nov 03, 2008 9:00 AM GMT
    Ok, I'm gonna get straight to the point on this one (so don't ask me for juicy details)...

    Last night me and my bf did 'it' where I topped and he bottomed. He had never bottomed before (as I had never topped before) and so in the end his ass is litereally f***ed up!

    So on behalf of my bf, what can you do to reduce the pain you have after bottoming for the first time, and what can you do to prepare yourself for the next time you bottom if you're still a newbie?
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    Nov 03, 2008 10:17 AM GMT
    I have no idea but I'll say more lube?

    I'm dieing to see how the thread will end up.
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    Nov 03, 2008 10:25 AM GMT
    um, more lube and spending more time loosening him up.

    What sort of pain are we talking about? being tender or full on pain?

    Muttskins, I'd never have thought you'd be so brutal to a bottom icon_razz.gif
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    Nov 03, 2008 11:36 AM GMT
    muttskins saidOk, I'm gonna get straight to the point on this one (so don't ask me for juicy details)...

    Last night me and my bf did 'it' where I topped and he bottomed. He had never bottomed before (as I had never topped before) and so in the end his ass is litereally f***ed up!

    So on behalf of my bf, what can you do to reduce the pain you have after bottoming for the first time, and what can you do to prepare yourself for the next time you bottom if you're still a newbie?


    Well I think MunchingZombie would be great answering this question, but he may be really busy following the US election.

    - has your bf ever tried toys before to help loosen him up?
    - before entering him you might want to loosen him up with one or two fingers depending on your circumference. That is in the absence of any toy such as a dildo or butt plug.
    - lots of lube is necessary regardless;
    - when entering a guy take it slow. He should give you feedback on how fast to go since he is the one that needs to relax and is feeling any discomfort.

    He had never had a guy enter him before so it is not surprsing that he will be sore after the first time. With practice and some preparation he is likely to enjoy it more and more.

    And if you want to understand better what to do Muttskins, switch positions. There is nothing like being the bottom to make you a better top. icon_wink.gif
  • MattyC0709

    Posts: 1199

    Nov 03, 2008 12:38 PM GMT
    SurrealLife saidAnd if you want to understand better what to do Muttskins, switch positions. There is nothing like being the bottom to make you a better top. icon_wink.gif

    Lol, don't worry, I know how it feels, hehe. I understand having to take it slow and giving him time to relax, but I'm just saying you know, 'cause he ended up taking the day off to get better, and today we exchanged about 10 messages about how much he hurt. He says it was great, but painful, and I'm not surprised, given it's his first time.
  • MattyC0709

    Posts: 1199

    Nov 03, 2008 12:43 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidWhat sort of pain are we talking about? being tender or full on pain?

    It's stretching pain I guess. That's why I'm not sure about lube: he hurts because of the stretch, not because of the friction.
    lilTanker said
    Muttskins, I'd never have thought you'd be so brutal to a bottom icon_razz.gif

    Hey, it was my first time being top too! It was kinda difficult for me too. icon_razz.gif
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    Nov 03, 2008 1:22 PM GMT
    Let's start by saying congrats on bottoming for the first time.

    I would suggest buying a butt plug. A small one and a medium one. Use them during foreplay and use lots of lube. Tease your BF friend with it, make it exciting.

    Also, when it comes time to the real thing, don't forget to put a little lube in in the condom as well.
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    Nov 03, 2008 1:28 PM GMT
    muttskins saidHey, it was my first time being top too! It was kinda difficult for me too. icon_razz.gif


    It's a dirty job, but somebody's gotta do it.

    Severe pain the day after is exceptional. Or does he just have that "it feels like he's still inside me" sensation, which is normal for a first timer. Did he bleed? If he has a lot of pain with normal bowel movements tomorrow morning he may need to see a doctor.

    As already noted here, next time use lots of lube, and finger some up there first, which also relaxes the sphincter, as will a lubed dildo. Take your time entering him, and don't jackhammer him until he's more experienced and comfortable as a bottom.

    BTW, what kind of lube are you using? Lubes specifically for sex work best for anal, and I like those with high amounts of glycerin, which seem to be slipperier. For anal you don't need those with special features like flavors and self-warming.

    NEVER use anything containing petroleum derivatives with latex condoms, like Vaseline, which will dissolve them. In fact, I don't like Vaseline at all, not slippery enough for me. Relube yourself often.

    And maybe you're just a very well-endowed man, perhaps TOO endowed for him. Some guys can never comfortably take the really big mega-cocks.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Nov 03, 2008 1:51 PM GMT
    he may find a desensitizing lube to help in the future.
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    Nov 03, 2008 3:12 PM GMT
    Timberoo saidhe may find a desensitizing lube to help in the future.


    I have to disagree with this, though I respect your sex advice Mr.Timberoo. Desensitizing lube is an advanced toy, not for beginners. Numbing lube is for guys who know how far their butts can stretch. Beginners have trouble with a couple fingers, and cramming a whole cock in while you are numb is a great way to cause damage to a beautiful love pucker.

    Mutts, you have to approach this from two directions. He is bottoming for the first time and you are topping for the first time. You have to learn how to be a good top just as he has to learn how to be a good bottom. The best way, I think, to do this is to get some toys. A small and medium dildo and butt plug. The dildo will help your boyfriend find where he prostate is so he can tell you where to smack it. I tell you, once you are able to massage his prostate his ass will open up like a flower. The plug can help make him comfortable having junk up his butt.

    You should be a part of this too. Once he finds his prostate he should help direct you to hit it, not with your cock but with the toy. This way you learn to focus on his pleasure. You can fuck any old sleeve of flesh and come, but making your bottom moan for more is what makes a good top.

    Enjoy, and keep us posted with how you guys make out (cough).
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Nov 03, 2008 4:25 PM GMT
    MunchingHusseinZombie said
    Timberoo saidhe may find a desensitizing lube to help in the future.


    I have to disagree with this, though I respect your sex advice Mr.Timberoo. Desensitizing lube is an advanced toy, not for beginners. Numbing lube is for guys who know how far their butts can stretch. Beginners have trouble with a couple fingers, and cramming a whole cock in while you are numb is a great way to cause damage to a beautiful love pucker.



    I didn't think of that, good point.
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    Nov 03, 2008 8:35 PM GMT
    Since he has considerable pain the day after, you may have caused him an anal fissure. Now, it was a long time ago when this happened to one guy I had been with. I think his prescription contained nitroglycerine. I remember this cause I thought, my man, you are going to blow your ass sky high. At any rate, this is not funny so do as Red Vespa says and send him to see a doc.
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    Nov 04, 2008 9:23 PM GMT
    I read this book called Sex Tips for Gay Guys in highschool...and it gave me all the info I needed. Its actually really funny too.

    Seriously, Munching zombie is on it like nobody else.
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    Nov 05, 2008 12:56 AM GMT
    OMG I can finally post this edumacational porn!!! icon_biggrin.gif

    http://ozerus.com/junk/Better Gay Sex.3gp
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 06, 2008 2:19 AM GMT
    I originally downloaded it from a site thats now defunked.. I've never found anything else unfortunately.