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Coming out...help. UPDATED

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2013 1:21 AM GMT
    I've decided I want to do it - I want to come out, small scale at first but by the end of the next year, I want to be completely out as a confident bisexual (which, honestly, I am). However, I just cannot make the words come out of my mouth - I just get all tight-throated and nauseous whenever I think about it. I already know who I want to tell and how, I just can't get myself to do it - I've even typed out the text on numerous occasions but haven't had the balls to hit "Send." I know the person I'm telling will accept me with open arms, as will my family when I eventually tell them, I just can't get myself to articulate it... at all.

    Has anyone else had an experience like this? If so, what'd you do to ease the nerves? I'd really prefer not to drink "liquid courage" as I've been planning.

    Thanks in advance.

    EDIT: I just did it. I bit the bullet. I could've puked moments later, but everything is okay, as expected.
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  • Fable

    Posts: 3866

    Jun 21, 2013 1:24 AM GMT
    You're just going to have to bite the bullet. How about you text the person "i need to tell u something serious" then when you see them face to face you HAVE to tell them. If they're going to accept you then don't stress it.
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  • Apparition

    Posts: 4032

    Jun 21, 2013 1:35 AM GMT
    fable saidYou're just going to have to bite the bullet. How about you text the person "i need to tell u something serious" then when you see them face to face you HAVE to tell them. If they're going to accept you then don't stress it.


    I would not say "i have something serious" that might freak them out that you are dying or something bad.

    perhaps "I have some fun and interesting yet shyness inducing news to tell you, next time I see you smack me upside the head if I chicken out. "

    or something else with a positive spin like "fun" or "amusing" since nothing bad would be described as fun and wont worry the person.

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  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11421

    Jun 21, 2013 1:36 AM GMT
    Sort of like ripping off a bandage ... Which is what you have, covering up what you feel is a wound ... Well in a way it is ... Your insecurity is a wound.
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2013 1:42 AM GMT
    Just change your Face-Book status and let the chips fall.

    Move on with your life while they're falling.
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2013 1:50 AM GMT
    Well, I'd start making jokes/comments about how you'd have flirth/date/have sex with guys instead of just sex with girls. It is funny, confuses people, and I think its better than directing the conversation towards yourself. I also think it's less awkward as I have an easier time doing that. So next time tell your friends to suck a vag or something cause sometimes sucking dick is your style.
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2013 1:52 AM GMT
    This may sound weird, but try this, come out on video. Record yourself, completely unscripted. Say it from the heart, and watch yourself. It will definitely feel awkward. Then, either keep it for later, or delete it.

    I know it sounds weird, but this really helped me accepting my sexuality.
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2013 1:53 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidSort of like ripping off a bandage ... Which is what you have, covering up what you feel is a wound ... Well in a way it is ... Your insecurity is a wound.



    ^^^ Pretty much this. It's hard to tell that first person, but once you tell one person and build up a support system, your confidence in yourself grows and it begins to get easier and easier to tell other people.
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  • Timbales

    Posts: 13999

    Jun 21, 2013 1:53 AM GMT
    I started with one person, then it got easier.
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2013 1:58 AM GMT
    Timbales saidI started with one person, then it got easier.


    This is true. Each time I told someone, I was astounded that it was no big deal to them. Very few people gave me a hard time, and it was their problem, not mine. The only people I worried about was my parents, who took a few months to accept it. I'm still amazed that they never suspected it, but that's another story. Good luck!!
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2013 2:18 AM GMT
    UPDATE:

    Well, I did it. As expected, my friend was as supportive as imaginable. Of course, while waiting for that text back, I could have puked. But I didn't and now all is well. In fact, she told me she's always known. icon_razz.gif
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2013 2:30 AM GMT
    That's great. Congratulations.
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2013 2:33 AM GMT
    That's AWESOME. icon_smile.gif
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2013 2:41 AM GMT
    Very cool man
    and in real time no less.
    didn't have to read the same thread from you a year from now--two years from now--three years from now.

    Congrats.
    Sorry; we stopped giving out cake in 2010.
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2013 2:50 AM GMT
    Thanks, everyone!! I feel so relieved. Can't believe I did it - but it feels INCREDIBLE to have my best friend by my side!
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2013 2:58 AM GMT
    Good goin' man! icon_biggrin.gif
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2013 3:22 AM GMT
    Congratulations!
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  • isuflyboy

    Posts: 363

    Jun 21, 2013 3:25 AM GMT
    Awesome! I have told a few friends at coolege, but no one from back home knows
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2013 7:51 AM GMT
    Congratulations!! icon_biggrin.gif
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2013 8:06 AM GMT
    Yay!
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  • wherewillwebe

    Posts: 120

    Jun 21, 2013 9:21 AM GMT
    good on you!
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 21, 2013 10:16 AM GMT
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