New on this guy thing

  • rolexguy

    Posts: 2

    Jun 21, 2013 2:42 PM GMT
    So this is how it begins. I started to see porno gay when I was 17 years old. I never ever was with men until this year.

    Everything began last summer when I went to a summer program. I spent 6 weeks there performing in operas and singing songs.

    There was a guy a year younger than me that used to follow me everywhere. Even to the bathroom I was 25. I do not know if it was just my nerves or he was following me everywhere. I liked to be around him I felt really great, like I never felt before. One night, we hang out together with other friends between them there was a girl that I felt attracted to and she seemed to give me some signals that she was interested too. He started to say that I liked her and I do not like to much that kind of help. After hanging out, we left the girls and then he dropped me at mi place. When I was leaving I gaze at him closely and tried to kiss him. He gazed at me angry and asked if I was trying to kiss him I just smiled and after a few seconds, he said that he did not imagine that I was a fag. After that, I felt lower than crap and then I left his car.

    Next day at breakfast, he just walked like if nothing has happened the day before and he seated beside me. I felt even worse I did not know how to approach this situation.

    Well no more drama. The thing is that after months of being suffering, I decided to block him from Facebook so I could stop thinking in him. Of course that did no worked. We meet again in a curse on October and it happened that they put us in the same room. It was the hardest experience that I never have had.
    It is almost a year since that all happened and I am still feeling this terrible pain in my heart.

    I just wish someone could listen to me and give me an idea to forget everything and being a normal guy again.

    On January was the first time I did something with a guy. I was very nervous but I wanted to try. He sucked me but when I try to suck him, I could not do it. Then I try it again with another guy and it was the same. I could not do it, until I meet a guy on May he was really nice though he was just looking for a hook up.

    I failed in heterosexual relationships and I guess in homosexual as well.

    Relationships are so complicated but I feel I need to know someone that can be a friend and my middle soul.
  • rolexguy

    Posts: 2

    Jun 27, 2013 7:41 PM GMT
    Tahnks man I'll do that and then maybe I'll feel better
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2266

    Jun 27, 2013 7:51 PM GMT
    Don't worry about them; you are the normal one (& from what I can see, you look pretty-good too)!

    (BTW, Maria Callis & I had the same Vocal Coach: Louise Caselotti.)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 27, 2013 11:12 PM GMT
    I wouldn't say you have failed..
    I really think you are trying to solidify a sexual identity
    and your techniques and approach might need a little work.

    .. Now..? Could it be that you are not comfortable being intimate with guys that you are not close to?

    ..For now i'll leave the sucking thing alone!!
    Or NOT !!


    Cheer up mate !! icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 30, 2013 8:00 AM GMT
    Hey man, you did not fail. Keep trying. A similar thing happened to me. At school, I met a guy that I was crazy about, but I was not sure how to approach him. One day, I find myself in his room in the middle of the night (due to a power outage). One thing led to the other, and I wind up having my first kiss. After that, he tells me that he already has a boyfriend and the only reason he kissed me was to make me more comfortable with others, whatever that means. That hurt me so much, that even when other genuine guys made it obvious they were interested in me, I pushed them away. It took me a while to stop blaming myself, but I used this experience to learn and grow. There are good guys out there, one just needs to find them.