CAUTION: Another "in a love with a straight guy" thread...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2013 2:09 AM GMT
    So about 2 and a half years ago I started this job working in a retail pharmacy. There was a guy at this job who everyone seems to think is the hottest guy on earth, but I just didn't see it...(I'm not "out" to anyone aside from my best friend) by the way. He's 4 years older than me.

    Anyway, I found him attractive but not in a sexual way at first. I simply thought of him as a coworker and a potential friend. I really actually wanted to be friends with him, because he seemed like such a cool and funny guy to hang out with. However, he seemed like he'd always make plans with me and then never follow through...

    As time went by, I started to develop more of a crush on him. I started to find him sexually attractive, and I just couldn't help it. He's always talking about fucking girls, and it almost seems like he tries to overcompensate for some reason...but I don't think he's secretly gay or anything like that. He left the job we worked at this past December and took over the business he was working for. He hired me to work for him. Now, we're becoming closer friends and I've even met his girlfriend who really seems to like me and his family does too.

    Sometimes, I'll get little hints from him that he might be bi-curious at the least, and there's part of me that secretly hopes we can "fool around" one day. But, he's my boss now and I wouldn't want to damage our friendship, since for the most part I do love him as a friend...I just can't help my attraction to him. And I feel guilty about it...

    Here's the catch...he has a younger brother who is turning 19 in a couple of weeks that is also really hot...and gay. He's basically a gay version of his older brother that I have a crush on. I definitely find the gay brother attractive and we get along really well at work. He seems to really like me. I'm just not sure if I have that same lust for him that I do for his brother right now...it's just such a weird/awkward situation for me and I don't know what to do.

    I've never been in a relationship/had sex with anyone and I'm almost 23. I feel like such a loser, but I've never felt this way about anyone before...it just sucks that he is straight and I can't seem to grasp the reality that all we can be is friends (if that).
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    Jun 22, 2013 2:33 AM GMT
    Heartbreak sucks. The mind has amazing powers of self-deception, seeing "signs" where none exist. If you can't be just friends with him, you should get another job before you lose this one. icon_confused.gif It's a bummer, I know.

    (EDIT: I think the phrase "Don't shit where you eat." applies to this situation.)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2013 2:39 AM GMT
    Hang out with the straight brother. Sleep with the gay brother.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2013 3:27 AM GMT
    Ever notice how these "straight guy" threads are VERY similar to "straight dude" porn???


    You know.

    Guy is completely naked on a cheap leather sofa while an off-camera voice is saying " I can double your money Man - but Ya gotta interact with My friend Josh...You UP for it???"

    Dude is ALWAYS like "NOW WAY MAN - WITH A DUDE - ARE YOU CRAZY??????"

    18 seconds later he is taking a 10 inch Dick up his ass like it ALWAYS fit there WITH a dripping Boner....


    UHM - YEAH...RIGHT...



    icon_neutral.gificon_neutral.gificon_neutral.gif
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jun 22, 2013 4:07 AM GMT
    Don't go there ... you'll lose his friendship (and probably your job) for good, even if did fool around, it would be awkward for him. Maybe you should try a few dates with the brother. Have you ever heard you should never date people you work with ... that's crap ... date the brother.
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    Jun 22, 2013 8:31 PM GMT
    wyrln saidHeartbreak sucks. The mind has amazing powers of self-deception, seeing "signs" where none exist. If you can't be just friends with him, you should get another job before you lose this one. icon_confused.gif It's a bummer, I know.

    (EDIT: I think the phrase "Don't shit where you eat." applies to this situation.)


    I know what you mean. My mind is constantly trying to see signs where none exist, and I can't seem to catch myself in the moment and realize that it's nothing.

    Some examples of "signs" I think I've gotten from him:

    1. When we went out one night and were drinking, he put his arm around me and told me he loved me (something he's never said or expressed before)...and then after a little pause he said "If I get married, you'll be at my wedding" or something like that...

    2. He's told me "no homo" that I'm a good-looking guy a few times.

    3. He gets uncomfortable/grossed out sometimes if another guy jokingly makes a gay joke about him kissing a guy or something, but then sometimes will make jokes like that toward me.

    4. Brags to me about all of the girls he's f**ked, but has never really asked me if I've f**ked any/who I've slept with...seems like he tries to overcompensate in his masculinity.

    5. When he walks by, sometimes he'll rub my back or shoulders as he's walking by.

    Now I know in reality these things mean nothing, except that he's comfortable with me as a friend. But of course, being that I have an attraction toward him there is that part of my mind that I guess tries to take these subtle gestures as something more than they are...
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    Jun 22, 2013 8:51 PM GMT
    Iceblink saidHang out with the straight brother. Sleep with the gay brother.


    This!

    In a few years he'll age and look even more like his brother. Don't risk the friendship or the job if bith are important to you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2013 9:11 PM GMT
    Iceblink saidHang out with the straight brother. Sleep with the gay brother.


    +1
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jun 22, 2013 9:16 PM GMT
    Sex change? Maybe.icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2013 9:18 PM GMT
    Too long, didn't read.

    These threads are lame...he's straight, you don't have a chance, get over it and move on to someone else that likes whats between your legs.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2013 9:21 PM GMT
    DATE THE BROTHER!
  • chadwick1985

    Posts: 391

    Jun 22, 2013 10:53 PM GMT
    7Famark saidToo long, didn't read.

    These threads are lame...he's straight, you don't have a chance, get over it and move onicon_evil.gif to someone else that likes whats between your legs.



    This. But I do feel you OP, been in kind of a similar situation.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2013 11:15 PM GMT
    Sleep with the boss? - Not even an option.
    Sleep with the coworker? - An option, but tread carefully.
    Sleep with the boss' brother who happens to be the coworker? - You're just asking for it.

    Life has enough dramas.
    Why create another soap opera?

    There are many other fish out in the sea.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 25, 2013 10:15 PM GMT
    Any tips on how to go to after his brother, who's actually gay? We seem to really get along at work, and I've sort of realized that I'm much better off just being friends with his straight brother (my boss) anyway.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 25, 2013 10:19 PM GMT
    stay away from the straight guy
  • MadeinMich

    Posts: 1624

    Jun 25, 2013 10:27 PM GMT
    Fuck the gay brother and while your fucking him squint your eyes a little and maybe he'll start looking like the older brother.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 25, 2013 11:48 PM GMT
    3 SOME!!!!!!!!!
    lol nahs.. but "straight" guy crushes go nowhere, they have to be in control at all times meaning if you dare flirt back more than he is possibly with you (it could be in your mind) then he will act adversely and may even shun you, completely ignore you.. believe me I know. ( -_-)
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    Jun 26, 2013 12:25 AM GMT
    ihateyoutoo saidthis thread is very creepy. i feel sorry for the straight guy that you're stalking.


    Stalking someone that I'm friends with and work with every day? How so? The only thing in this thread that's creepy is your profile picture...
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    Jun 26, 2013 1:10 AM GMT
    steelguitar saidAny tips on how to go to after his brother, who's actually gay? We seem to really get along at work, and I've sort of realized that I'm much better off just being friends with his straight brother (my boss) anyway.


    Going after his brother??
    Not really fair to the brother ..if you think about it..
    You "Love" his brother.

    You pursuing him at this point would probably inject chaos into their relationship. (Think about it!)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 26, 2013 1:11 AM GMT
    icon_confused.gif
  • Tombo

    Posts: 355

    Jun 26, 2013 1:35 AM GMT
    That's a sticky situation, I feel for you bro!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 26, 2013 1:59 AM GMT
    Don't get a crush on a straight guy. Stop hoping for more. If you do get a crush, break your own heart and be done with it. Am I oversimplifying it? Perhaps, but it's easier to break yourself than you'd think. It just hurts, a lot.

    Who knows, maybe your feelings for him are largely due to loneliness. I haven't been hugely intimate with a guy yet either, so I feel like that a lot and sometimes throw a bit of that anxiety at my straight friends.

    You can ignore ihateyoutoo, by the way. You have a right to privacy, and it's not stalking when you two are close friends.
  • killercliche

    Posts: 948

    Jun 26, 2013 2:05 AM GMT
    Tell the guy you are gay. If he really thinks much of you he might go and set you up with his brother.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 26, 2013 2:28 AM GMT
    oh dude. Never fall for straight dudes, porn stars, and gay bartenders. Love is pain.
  • chadwick1985

    Posts: 391

    Jun 26, 2013 7:04 PM GMT
    I have fallen for a straight guy before, it sucks. I even saw a lot of signs tht would indicate he was gay too. In the end i was reading way too much into it and him. He wasnt gay, just shy with females. I didnt get it at first because he is so hhot he should be able to pull tail anywhere but he wasnt. Again i read too much into it.

    Tell the guy ur gay and see how he reacts. Thats the best way to find out if hes gay. If he is he may end up feeling a sense of relief and come out to you as well.