The Line of Adultery, made thicker and greyer by the digital era.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 22, 2013 11:37 AM GMT
    I have begun a debate with a guy on Jack'd on whether or not us trading dirty pictures and wanking to them is cheating on his boyfriend.

    His arguement is that it's no worse than pornography.

    Pornography is art however.

    This is a person to person encounter.

    Flirting isn't cheating.

    But is sharing each other's art and wanking to each other a line crossed?
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    Jun 22, 2013 11:43 AM GMT
    Interesting debate.... but I guess it is what ever boundaries you decide on with your partner....

    I would consider having feelings of lust towards someone and acting on it cheating..... my ex-partner believed that porn is cheating for the same reason.... thinking of someone else and acting on it.....

    so I guess it decides on what you think is cheating or not?
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    Jun 22, 2013 11:47 AM GMT
    Nashjones saidInteresting debate.... but I guess it is what ever boundaries you decide on with your partner....

    I would consider having feelings of lust towards someone and acting on it cheating..... my ex-partner believed that porn is cheating for the same reason.... thinking of someone else and acting on it.....

    so I guess it decides on what you think is cheating or not?


    Did anyone ever tell you that you'd make a perfect Wolverine part if Hugh Jackman ever left the series?
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    Jun 22, 2013 11:52 AM GMT
    I'll tell you what's cheating...

    The desire or at least having a faintest idea/thought of possessing some person other than your husband or bf or whoever is cheating.
    A person has already cheated his partner when some thoughts like this arise from his or her mind.

    So, he had already cheated his relationship before even asking you. because he has desires for someone else in his mind (either temporary or permanent).
    He had already cheated when he at least not even tried to resist his temptations.

    EDIT: I see a lot of objections to this comment, but before you disagree and reject it...I would like to request you all to read my post(Which I made a reply to all who disagree) in page 2 of this thread, before posting any replies to this.
    Thanks.
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    Jun 22, 2013 11:52 AM GMT
    Haha, funny you say that..... I have heard that from my brothers.... that's what they call me..... but no.... other than them you are the first.....

    I guess that's a compliment...
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    Jun 22, 2013 12:01 PM GMT
    Nashjones saidHaha, funny you say that..... I have heard that from my brothers.... that's what they call me..... but no.... other than them you are the first.....

    I guess that's a compliment...


    It is icon_twisted.gif

    Wanna trade our comic book artworks? icon_wink.gif
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    Jun 22, 2013 12:08 PM GMT
    Wanna trade our comic book artworks? icon_wink.gif[/quote]

    ???
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    Jun 22, 2013 12:30 PM GMT
    Well, you can wank to a stranger and become as obsessed as you like and it's not likely it will tear you from your partner. If you wank to someone you know and become obsessed, it's all over.

    This reminds me of a King of Queens exchange.
    Something like...

    (the two are in bed)

    Carrie: I would only cheat on you for Brad Pitt. Do you have any fantasies?
    Doug: Nope.
    Carrie: Oh, come on. Sure you do. It's all right. Tell me.
    Doug: OK. I'd do it with Susie, the cashier were we shop.
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    Jun 22, 2013 12:46 PM GMT
    Nashjones saidWanna trade our comic book artworks? icon_wink.gif


    ???[/quote]

    nerdy inneundos icon_redface.gif
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    Jun 22, 2013 12:59 PM GMT
    Harry7785 saidI'll tell you what's cheating...

    The desire or at least having a faintest idea/thought of possessing some person other than your husband or bf or whoever is cheating.
    A person has already cheated his partner when some thoughts like this arise from his or her mind.

    So, he had already cheated his relationship before even asking you. because he has desires for someone else in his mind (either temporary or permanent).
    He had already cheated when he at least not even tried to resist his temptations.


    Then everyone cheats from day one. Because EVERYONE thinks about guys other than his partner. icon_rolleyes.gif

    The answer is, it completely depends on what the two guys involved have agreed. I think many people these days permit sexting, thinking of it more as an extension of porn than a precursor to sex. But it's up to them.

    What do he and his boyfriend think?


  • Rene_Aensland

    Posts: 2495

    Jun 22, 2013 1:01 PM GMT
    Nashjones saidWanna trade our comic book artworks? icon_wink.gif


    ???[/quote]

    No fucking way you didn't get what that meant. -_-

    xD

    showme said
    Harry7785 saidI'll tell you what's cheating...

    The desire or at least having a faintest idea/thought of possessing some person other than your husband or bf or whoever is cheating.
    A person has already cheated his partner when some thoughts like this arise from his or her mind.

    So, he had already cheated his relationship before even asking you. because he has desires for someone else in his mind (either temporary or permanent).
    He had already cheated when he at least not even tried to resist his temptations.


    Then everyone cheats from day one. Because EVERYONE thinks about guys other than his partner. icon_rolleyes.gif

    The answer is, it completely depends on what the two guys involved have agreed. I think many people these days permit sexting, thinking of it more as an extension of porn than a precursor to sex. But it's up to them.

    What do he and his boyfriend think?



    And this ^ ^ ^ ^
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    Jun 22, 2013 1:30 PM GMT
    ???[/quote]

    nerdy inneundos icon_redface.gif[/quote]

    wow, sorry to disappoint...... might need to develop a nerdy side?
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    Jun 22, 2013 1:41 PM GMT
    IrishDarren said
    But is sharing each other's art and wanking to each other a line crossed?

    I think each couple sets their own rules; there's no universal, one-size-fits-all solution. Some of our friends do 3-ways and group scenes, even sex parties, been happily married (and a few legally now) for many years. Others are totally monogamous. I'm sure wanking to porn, whether a known face or not, fits into the same scheme.

    My late partner didn't like me looking at any porn once we moved in together. I think he was insecure, but needn't have been with me. Nevertheless I deleted all the gay porn I had on my computer, and promised not to use porn sites. He didn't mind that I still visited gay social sites. I complied because I loved him too much to risk losing him over such a minor issue, and I wanted to please him in every way I could.

    Now my current partner doesn't mind if I look at "eye candy" and he does it, too. Doesn't concern me in the least, and I've told him he can keep all his friends on Silver Daddies, too. I don't feel threatened in the least. And I bring him to this screen to read some RJ posts, even got him his own account, but he never uses it. Nothing here he can't see, nothing in my life he can't know.
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    Jun 22, 2013 2:22 PM GMT

    "The Line of Adultery, made thicker and greyer by the digital era."

    This reminds me of what I overheard growing up in the 50s and 60s.

    Back then it was swingers and swinging. Wife swapping parties, etc. Tsk tsk.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jun 22, 2013 7:57 PM GMT
    It's cheating if he's lying to his boyfriend.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jun 22, 2013 7:59 PM GMT
    Harry7785 saidI'll tell you what's cheating...

    The desire or at least having a faintest idea/thought of possessing some person other than your husband or bf or whoever is cheating.
    A person has already cheated his partner when some thoughts like this arise from his or her mind.

    So, he had already cheated his relationship before even asking you. because he has desires for someone else in his mind (either temporary or permanent).
    He had already cheated when he at least not even tried to resist his temptations.

    That's insane.
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    Jun 22, 2013 8:06 PM GMT
    Physical lust in your mind (ie fantasizing, but not acting on) is ok

    Emotional connection (ie best bud) is ok.

    Start combining the two and you start crossing that line.

    At least that is where I draw my line, but like others have posted, it really depends on the boundaries and expectations you've each placed on the relationship.
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    Jun 22, 2013 8:14 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    Harry7785 saidI'll tell you what's cheating...

    The desire or at least having a faintest idea/thought of possessing some person other than your husband or bf or whoever is cheating.
    A person has already cheated his partner when some thoughts like this arise from his or her mind.

    So, he had already cheated his relationship before even asking you. because he has desires for someone else in his mind (either temporary or permanent).
    He had already cheated when he at least not even tried to resist his temptations.

    That's insane.


    hottjoe you're a work of art ;)

    I love how I've used my topic to hit on half of the repliers, fun thread for me.

    Realjock is the lourve of the homosexual male social websites.
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    Jun 22, 2013 8:16 PM GMT
    Aristoshark saidI walked in on my boyfriend having phone sex with some other guy once. I came home early from work and surprised him.

    He slammed the phone down and chased me down the hallway, babbling apologies. I just laughed and told I didn't mind (I didn't). He didn't quite understand why it didn't bother me.

    It didn't bother me because it was all fantasy. I certainly had my own fantasies, he was entitled to his.


    It would have bothered me more that he acted so guilty, as if in his mind he was doing something he believed was incredibly wrong but did it anyway.
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    Jun 22, 2013 8:22 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidIt's cheating if he's lying to his boyfriend.

    I would endorse that view. If he lies he evidently thinks it's something he shouldn't be doing, that his partner/BF would not condone. As I said above, each couple sets their own rules, not us here. But when one is lying, it strongly suggests those rules are being broken.
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    Jun 22, 2013 8:22 PM GMT
    IrishDarren saidhottjoe you're a work of art ;)

    I love how I've used my topic to hit on half of the repliers, fun thread for me.

    Realjock is the lourve of the homosexual male social websites.

    Did he delete a bunch of posts? I only see you hitting on a replier.
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    Jun 22, 2013 8:25 PM GMT
    wyrln said
    IrishDarren saidhottjoe you're a work of art ;)

    I love how I've used my topic to hit on half of the repliers, fun thread for me.

    Realjock is the lourve of the homosexual male social websites.

    Did he delete a bunch of posts? I only see you hitting on a replier.


    okay maybe not half, Mr Literal :/
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    Jun 22, 2013 9:39 PM GMT
    IrishDarren said
    wyrln said
    IrishDarren saidhottjoe you're a work of art ;)

    I love how I've used my topic to hit on half of the repliers, fun thread for me.

    Realjock is the lourve of the homosexual male social websites.

    Did he delete a bunch of posts? I only see you hitting on a replier.


    okay maybe not half, Mr Literal :/

    icon_idea.gif Ohhhhh! icon_redface.gif I wish I wasn't a moron. icon_lol.gif
  • conquer

    Posts: 305

    Jun 22, 2013 9:59 PM GMT
    i would consider being on a hook-up app if you have a boyfriend an invitation to cheat. unless you have some sort of agreement in your relationship, its asking for trouble.
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    Jun 22, 2013 10:24 PM GMT
    wyrln said
    IrishDarren said
    wyrln said
    IrishDarren saidhottjoe you're a work of art ;)

    I love how I've used my topic to hit on half of the repliers, fun thread for me.

    Realjock is the lourve of the homosexual male social websites.

    Did he delete a bunch of posts? I only see you hitting on a replier.


    okay maybe not half, Mr Literal :/

    icon_idea.gif Ohhhhh! icon_redface.gif I wish I wasn't a moron. icon_lol.gif


    It's okay, dolphins are smart but not as smart as humans icon_wink.gif