So where are the RIGHT places to look for boyfriends???

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 10, 2007 5:40 AM GMT
    Everyone is always saying, on this site, that if someone is lonely and can't find some guy to love and be loved by, that he isn't looking in the right places. Frankly, I'm sick of hearing it without getting the information on where those "right places" are.

    Ante up, boys, state your city and where the "right places" are. (And someone had better stick Tacoma, Washington in there!) Please provide names and phone numbers of organizations, etc.

    Make it real!!!! Help us "poor" lonely guys!!!!
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Sep 10, 2007 2:07 PM GMT
    Looking for love in all the wrong places...

    Look for love in too many faces...


    Sorry couldn't help myself.
    What about clubs or such? Not like dancing clubs, but like Mtn biking clubs, saturday night knitting club or a gay men's rowing group...

    It would give you something to talk about, since you already have at least one shared interest...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 10, 2007 2:56 PM GMT
    if you want a republican boyfriend you can look in airport bathrooms
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    Sep 10, 2007 3:00 PM GMT
    Yeah, guys, pretty funny. I'm talking about SPECIFIC AND SERIOUS groups. The name of an organization and maybe a phone number or an email address, or a Yahoo group name or something like that.

    We can have fun and joke about it, and that's ok, as long as we get some serious answers, too.

    Love you guys. Too bad you aren't here.

    Steve
  • jc_online

    Posts: 487

    Sep 10, 2007 3:08 PM GMT
    I've never been to Tacoma, but in Googling "gay Tacoma" I got some results for you. I would start by visiting the LGBT Center, they can help you find groups of people that would interest you.
    Good luck!

    Local business results for gay near Tacoma, WA Tacoma Rainbow Center - www.rainbowcntr.org
    741 St. Helens Ave, Tacoma - (253) 383-2318
    Directions and more »


    Outkitsap - www.outkitsap.org
    532 5th St, Bremerton - (360) 373-6150
    Directions and more »


    Open Door Ministries - maps.google.com
    911 Stewart St, Seattle - (206) 628-0946
    Directions and more »

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  • fryblock

    Posts: 387

    Sep 10, 2007 3:35 PM GMT
    chill out. briarhawk gave some good ideas. it's your job to run with those, get your own information. we aren't your personal date finder. do some of your own research from others' ideas
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 10, 2007 4:18 PM GMT
    sundown, I wouldn't take anything the twink says too much to heart. After all, it's easy to be that confident that you know everything when life hasn't smacked you around much yet.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 10, 2007 4:39 PM GMT
    My advice on finding a boyfriend is "look with your interests." A long term relationship isnt gonna last on good looks alone. You gotta have something in common to fill the spaces between sex sessions.

    If you havent already, sit down and analyze yourself for your interests...the things that truly make you happy. You are gonna want a boyfriend who also enjoys all or some of those interests.

    Then go to the places where guys with those interests are likely to be: book clubs, sporting events, etc. Try to find gay associations in those interests.

    Also examine yourself. See what you are offering to the other guy. Do you think you would fit the qualifications that he would be looking for? If not, get with it, buddy. You want himm to fullfil your desires, be ready to fullfil his.

    If you think that you have been "down" so long that you might actually be suffering from depression. Go see your dr. Lexapro/Celexa can do wonders to lift your spirits. Maybe it will cheer you up and people will want to be around you more.

    And in the meantime, dont waste your time boo-hooing. Think of something that you would like to accomplish: perfecting a sport's skill, taking the home repair courses at the local Adult Ed program, learning woodworking, trying various art classes at the art school, beginning a collection, researching gay history in your area... whatever would give you satisfaction. The Satisfaction of Accomplishment is happiness that stays with you.

    I hope this helps. Let me know if you have any other questions.

    Caslon

  • Sep 10, 2007 8:48 PM GMT
    You need to decide what interests you, and then actively pursue those. You'll find someone with similar interests that way and it'll have a better chance of working out. I found my bf on gay.com and it was a total fluke, so what do I know.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 10, 2007 10:06 PM GMT
    lol fryblock you're such a bitch I love it
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 10, 2007 11:16 PM GMT
    I have found my last two bf's in completely different the the usual ways. My present bf and I have been together for just under a year and we met at the grocery store. My previous bf was from a restaurant I frequented before he moved out of state.

    I don't know about your individual circumstance, but I think the times I have been searching for a boyfriend, I found tricks and when I was not looking, the real thing found me.

    I think it has been said here a few times, but if you are in environments where you feel comfortable, you will find guys who connect with who you really are. Going to the bars, at least for me, is not a comfortable location and the guys I have met there never connect as bf material.

    My 2 cents and who know... Nebraska gay's could just be a little quirky.

    Scotty
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2007 12:09 AM GMT
    Ahh, the classic grocery store love tale. And yeah, Nebraska gays are very "quirky".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2007 12:39 AM GMT
    Thanks, those of you who had productive answers. I've gone online to find groups and have hit so many dead ends it isn't even funny.

    I've sent an email to the local Unity Center, quizzing on the gay membership and the principles, so hopefully, something will come of that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2007 12:42 AM GMT
    What's "the local Unity Center"?
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    Sep 11, 2007 1:16 AM GMT
    Ok – so you like to keep fit, live in WA, and you are into …

    Swimming: http://www.orcaswimteam.org/
    Water Polo: http://www.otterpolo.com/
    Biking: http://www.gayoutdoors.org/page.cfm?sectionid=40&parent=153
    Baseball: http://www.emeraldcitysoftball.org/
    Martial Arts: http://www.iaglma.org/links.html or http://www.teamseattle.org/
    Soccer: http://www.raincitysoccer.org/

    That’s 6 places to make contacts and meet new people who aren’t cruising the bars or internet for hookups…

    R
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2007 2:56 AM GMT
    Personally the "right" place to look for a boyfriend is everywhere. I don't claim to be an expert on the subject, but it seems to me that the odds of finding a guy are much higher if you just get out of the house and out in the world. The more people you mix with, the greater your odds, right? Go ahead and make friends anywhere and everywhere and keep in touch with them; they know people you don't. One of them could be right for you. Be yourself. Heck, looking at your profile I'd be totally checking you out if I were single in and in your area. You're interesting, so circulate but don't make it a quest. Being newly out (I gather) you might be anxious to get running and make up for lost time. Relax a little. The gays can smell desperation, that's why we slather on the designer colognes to cover it up.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2007 3:35 AM GMT
    There... Now we're getting someplace.

    ITJOCK, thanks. I'll check out those sites. I AM especially interested in biking, hiking, and soccer.

    OmahaScott, where were you when I lived in Omaha, 4 years ago??? I went to 24 hour fitness all the time (21st Street).

    Grower (I know what that means -- me too), thanks for that piece of wisdom. You're right, I have been desperate, ever since having the bad first experience with gay sex, and then the totally HEAVENLY kiss from the hot 20-something year old. Guess I'll have to get out the AXE (I'm a dirty boy who needs to get cleaned... er, clean. -- sorry, freudian slip).

    Ok, the next thing I need to know is how to recognize guys who are hitting on me. My gay ex-brother-in-law said that he never knew if guys were hitting on him or not. That's me. A guy could probably intimate that he wants to take me to bed and I would be so naive that I'd never know (had a girl try to seduce me, once, and didn't know until I asked her a couple of days later - she didn't succeed, by the way - I was too stupid).

    I like Grower's approach -- direct and to the point. I would respond to that (Grower, get naked, I'm on my way! LOL).

    Damn, the best part of being gay is not so much the sex as it is the real affection that gay guys have for each other -- you know, the hugging and kissing in greeting, to console, to display friendship and real affection, and so on. Nice results, too -- lumpy pants.

    Seriously, I just like the cuddling the best. Something I never got from my father, and I didn't have any brothers, so didn't get to wrestle and pick on each other (or give each other blow jobs like so many other gay guys I've talked to). Sorry, I can't help being a smart-ass sometimes. I don't know if it's a defense mechanism or if I just like to make people smile.

    Anyway, tell me how I can tell if a guy is hitting on me, and how to respond, please.

    Thanks for all your help.

    Oh, and don't forget to post organizations for your own cities, so that other guys like me can know where to go.

    Woof!
    Steve
  • GeorgeNJ

    Posts: 216

    Sep 15, 2007 4:04 AM GMT
    I checked out www.meetup.com here in the NY/NJ area for myself and got some interesting groups. This site is for people looking to meet and socialize based on all kinds of different criteria -- whether it is gay interests, or hobbies, or sports, or literature -- the list is pretty extensive. Here is the link for WA:

    http://www.meetup.com/cities/us/wa/

    They list cities here, including Tacoma. From a quick glance, I saw some things listed under "Cultures and Community" and "Religion". I also saw one entry under "Work and Career" at this link:

    http://gaypros.meetup.com/211/?gj=sj5

    I'm sure there are more. Oh, and beware of the scroll bar at the right -- there are 2 of them -- just to make it interesting, I'm sure.

    Good luck to you, and don't give up. As I was once told, "George, there's someone for everyone."

    (I'm waiting.)

    (And waiting.)

    (Still waiting.)

    D"Oh!
  • GeorgeNJ

    Posts: 216

    Sep 15, 2007 4:09 AM GMT
    Sorry, to make it easy, here are the links:

    http://www.meetup.com/cities/us/wa/



    http://gaypros.meetup.com/211/?gj=sj5
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    Sep 29, 2007 4:39 AM GMT
    caslon> go to the places where guys with those interests are likely to be: book clubs, sporting events, etc. Try to find gay associations in those interests.

    And if it doesn't exist... start one!

    caslon> examine yourself. See what you are offering to the other guy. Do you think you would fit the qualifications that he would be looking for? If not, get with it, buddy. You want himm to fullfil your desires, be ready to fullfil his.

    Exactly. If you are 60 years old and 60 pounds overweight and you're chasing after young athletes... well, it may not work out. Spend time first getting in better shape (literally or figuratively).


    caslon> dont waste your time boo-hooing

    Absolutely not. If you're walking around like a wet-blanket, who would want to date you?


    OmahaScott> the times I have been searching for a boyfriend, I found tricks and when I was not looking, the real thing found me.

    Perhaps because we tend to look for love by focusing on quantity (bars, chat rooms) rather than quality... and these tend more toward meat markets?


    Sundown55> how I can tell if a guy is hitting on me

    What do you do when you hit on someone? If you're really not sure and, as you said, like the "direct and to the point" approach, you can always ask: "are you hitting on me?"




  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 29, 2007 5:39 AM GMT
    get ripped and "boyfriends" will be everywhere
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 29, 2007 10:55 AM GMT
    This quote from Grower above "Personally the right place to look for a boyfriend is everywhere. I don't claim to be an expert on the subject, but it seems to me that the odds of finding a guy are much higher if you just get out of the house and out in the world]." I think this is so true. With me, I've known I was gay since I was very young but didn't have my first experience with men until I was 30, I'm 41 now. so I did the hook-up thing. Never clubs, ect. because as we say in the black community, "DL" or "in the in the closet". But since 2003, I've began getting tired of being alone and wanting more, so haven't had sex like over 4 years now.. ouch! And can't find anyone that I think I would love to have a relationship with. I'm too much into looks first, then personality, etc. Maybe that's my problem. Also, I've only done the online thing, Yahoo! Personals, Match.com, etc. Either I like them and they not me and vice vera. I know I need to get out of my house more since after spending over ten years helping take care of my mother who had dementia and died last July 30th. I've been working pm hours for awhile also. I know if I get out of my box and mingle more, something positive will happen in finding my first true love. It's so depressing being gay lots of times.

    PS If you never experienced anyone, a love one, parent with dementia, Alzheimer's, I pray you never will. And this terrible disease will grow even more in the coming decades. Look to see what you can do to help find a cure. It's very very terrible. icon_sad.gif
    http://www.alz.org/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 29, 2007 10:58 AM GMT
    I found a great guy on here...I wouldnt call him a bf yet....but...who knows!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 29, 2007 11:03 AM GMT
    masjockatl, then look at my profile. What I'm I doing wrong? icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 29, 2007 11:06 AM GMT
    cuteguydc...youre not doing anything wrong...you look awesome !! It'll happen!