Guys who like you, you don't. Guys you like, they don't?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 24, 2013 10:37 AM GMT
    Many of the guys who are really into me, who have chased or flirted with me for months, always said hi to me first for months...are the ones I'm not interested in. Even if they play hard to get and do all the tricks and rules to make men attracted to them, I'm still not interested. Not that I FORCE myself not be interested, but even after TRYING myself to be interested in them, it just doesn't happen. I go on a couple of dates, and it's just not there. I did it tonight, and ended up feeling like shit. I can't even sleep because the guy is over right now spending the night and I'm not into him like couple weeks ago at the bar. I thought I could just meet him again and feel something, I didn't. I ended up telling him that, as I'm not the type of punk ass bitch to pull fade-a-ways and shit.

    Meanwhile, turn the tables around and all the guys I feel a connection with are never into me that much or aren't looking to date, or have a boyfriend already. Or they are interested, but they want me to do all the work with little in return.

    I have about 6 or 7 guys in the past who were into me that way and to this day still are, but I'm not looking to go there. Not that they are ugly or unattractive or anything, but it's just not there. Sometimes I feel like I've been given some weird perception of type. Like you notice many guys who are together sort of resemble each other on some scale? Whether it be dress, attraction, beard growth, etc. I'm just not like that. I tend to go for the hottest guy in the room regardless of what they look like and how we'd look together. I also realize I may not be the hottest guy in the room either (not that I feel that way, just saying rhetorically)...but that's where the imbalance comes in.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 24, 2013 11:21 AM GMT
    You are much too picky, same as me and about 90% of our "community" icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 24, 2013 11:38 AM GMT
    Most of us are going for someone better looking, younger, and shorter than ourselves. It's a non-working formula.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jun 24, 2013 12:34 PM GMT
    Interesting experience. Sounds like you are spending more time "analyzing" rather than just enjoying yourself. Take charge.. if you aren't into the guy who's at your house, send him on his way. I'd suggest some fun dates where you rather really enjoy yourself instead of whether you are really "into" them or them into you. Make some additional friends through social dating and see if anything develops.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Jun 24, 2013 12:40 PM GMT
    Gotta agree a bit with Kansan--Stop with the analyzing. If you're not into the dude, you're not into the dude. Cut the cord swiftly and move on.

    Make a list of the qualities you want in a man.. and start dating anew from there.

    Move to Puerto Rico? or New York? How about Miami? You seem to be heavily into Latino men. Why not? Denver doesn't sound like the capital of Latin dudes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 24, 2013 12:45 PM GMT
    Not judging you so please dont take it that way. But many guys and girls in your industry have similar issues. My best friend does the same kind of work and is just way too exhausted to put in the work into a relationship. Good news is once the job changes so do your prospects in the relationship dept. just chill and relax it will happen one day
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 24, 2013 7:57 PM GMT
    Well unlike most people, I decided to man up this morning...cook him breakfast, and tell him. I said it exactly how I felt. I said that things were flowing and going good the first night we met, but that for some reason it didn't happen this time so I wasn't interested in hooking up with him again. I felt bad, but I felt better to not just leave him hanging. I couldn't send him home last night because he lives 65 miles from me and was drinking.

    JohnSpotter saidMost of us are going for someone better looking, younger, and shorter than ourselves. It's a non-working formula.

    Really though, I'm very open. I don't mind 5'4 guys or guys who are somehow taller than me. I can go for someone as young as 21 or as high as 40. All the guys on my profile would be guys I'd be interested in. But non of them live here! 1 guy I stumbled on at Pride last week was visiting AND he confessed he had a BF in another state. But I enjoyed it for the moment for what it was.

    PR_GMR said
    Move to Puerto Rico? or New York? How about Miami?

    I would consider moving to Miami if I didn't have to pay $1,000+ upfront to move into a little box lol. It's too expensive to live there (again, disregarding my NYC comment).
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Jun 25, 2013 4:44 AM GMT
    Considering my uncanny ability to pick out straight guys to like....... even if they're the only one in the damn group......



    yeah I kinda know the feeling icon_razz.gif


    And most of the guys who like me (or at least the ones who say so) only want to have sex.... not my thing
  • killercliche

    Posts: 948

    Jun 25, 2013 4:49 AM GMT
    Rejection is Attractive.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 25, 2013 5:17 AM GMT
    Defense mechanism?
    If you're only into the unavailable guys then you don't have to deal with any messiness of a relationship or get your heart hurt.
  • TannerMasseur

    Posts: 7893

    Jun 25, 2013 5:22 AM GMT
    Catch 22.....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 25, 2013 5:57 AM GMT
    My first boyfriend was someone I thought I would never have liked. He was definitely not my type, and he did things that really annoyed me when we first met. Our personalities were very much opposite he was very out going and extroverted with lots of friends, while I on the other hand was anything but those qualities.

    At first I don't think he liked me and I clearly did not like him, but something happened along the way, and he started seeing me differently. It was his constant nagging and persistence that eventually lead me to cave in. I'm really glad he did though. I made some really great memories with him, but yea back on topic..

    You might not like someone now, but who knows.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 25, 2013 7:01 AM GMT
    Mesmer saidMy first boyfriend was someone I thought I would never have liked. You might not like someone now, but who knows.


    And that I'm very aware of...I agree with you there. But that's why I didn't totally kick him down. I just simply told him I didn't feel it "like last time" and that I didn't want to hookup and lead him on. In fact, I KNEW I didn't feel anything afterwards because I seen his Facebook in between the time we met. And I was like, no way. But...I met him anyway to see if it would be something, since obviously it was on day 1...nothing. And it wasn't just because I wasn't attracted...because sometimes I find some unattractive people sexually attractive. It's weird. There was 1 guy I hooked up with alot who was a year younger than me, had bad teeth and everything...but he had a naturally ripped body, big ass dick and the ass to fuck for. I'd hook up with him, feel disgusted...and then do it again in the morning LOL. He had an energy that just got me horny everytime I was around him. He'd be HOT had he taken care of himself better.

    This is relatively new to me. Usually if I like a guy on the 1st meet, I like him on all subsequent meets. But being we met during the last hour or so at the bar thru some friends and he got me fucked up...I think my whole perception was fucked up. It's rare to have crazy sex 2 times with someone, and then feel absolutely NOTHING (like I didn't even wanna kiss or hold hands with him) the next time.

    That's the treacherous lifestyle of bar-hopping. You may end up sleeping with someone who you thought was hot...and then meet them again and feel nothing.