Dealing with the "So are you gay?" question....

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jun 25, 2013 5:09 PM GMT
    I almost start laughing these days when somebody you recently met or an acquaintance who's curious starts asking questions.

    Basically I view my sexuality as my business. I tell who I want to tell, don't make it a part of any professional discussion nor do we talk about it in my office. Usually it is a party or "curious straight friends" who might bring it up.

    In this case, it was a relatively new neighbor.
    She actually is a very nice lady, very progressive and had asked me a couple of times about my house and "who else lives there". Do you have a roommate?
    She finally walks over while I was mowing on Sunday, sweat dripping off my back, in the heat and asks...
    "OK Chris, I've been really curious.. you live here alone, you have this great home, you look like you do and you are in your 40's and apparently no girlfiend,
    what gives... are you..?

    My response... "I have a boyfriend, does that help".

    She looked a little foolish and told me she'd let me get back to my mowing.

    What are some of the funnier comments you've made to others when they bring up.. um.. are you.. um, GAY?? LOL
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jun 25, 2013 5:20 PM GMT
    You mean it isn't obvious ... hmm .. maybe that's why I'm still single icon_lol.gif
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jun 25, 2013 5:23 PM GMT
    I'm surprised your ruby slippers don't give you away!icon_razz.gif
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    Jun 25, 2013 5:35 PM GMT
    Well, friends & family are so used to seeing guys who are girl crazy and dating them by college, so any of us who still aren't dating women by 30 or 40 are going to be noticed. When pressed by a nosy (or curious) neighbor or friend, we could always use this one: "There isn't a girl alive who could tear me away from my work - - I'm so into my career." Yeah, right. More realistically, the way to go is to just tell them - like you did in your example, Chris. In my own case, those I haven't told will get my situation soon enough when I introduce my s.o. (Bob) at parties and work or social gatherings. They get it really fast, and they respect you for it if you show up looking good, being friendly, confident, introducing your s.o. around as though it is just the natural thing to do. Only a few homophobic people may not like it, but you don't care a damn about them.
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    Jun 25, 2013 6:31 PM GMT
    My 19 year old allegedly straight friend from work likes to visit me at home and give me big hugs in the driveway on his way in and out.
    I have no doubt what the neighbors are thinking.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jun 25, 2013 6:38 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidI'm surprised your ruby slippers don't give you away!icon_razz.gif



    Hahaha perhaps it's the "noplace like home" consideration... LOL
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jun 25, 2013 6:40 PM GMT
    Jockbod48 said Only a few homophobic people may not like it, but you don't care a damn about them.


    As usual, Gregg, you nailed it... +1

    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jun 25, 2013 8:31 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidI'm surprised your ruby slippers don't give you away!icon_razz.gif


    While he was mowing the lawn? icon_eek.gif
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    Jun 25, 2013 8:52 PM GMT
    Erik101 said
    HottJoe saidI'm surprised your ruby slippers don't give you away!icon_razz.gif


    While he was mowing the lawn? icon_eek.gif


    What do you think the wicked witch was doing when a house dropped on her!
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    Jun 25, 2013 8:57 PM GMT
    I don't really hide it. When people ask I just tell them. On one job all the guys were real supportive and asked me questions they didn't understand. One guy asked me if my dad approved and another asked if I was ever touched or raped.
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    Jun 25, 2013 9:28 PM GMT
    I'll respond a little later, I gotta go do something quick after the "sweat dripping off my back, in the heat" part. icon_razz.gif
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    Jun 25, 2013 9:30 PM GMT
    ^Okay... that was fast!

    My favorite answer around here to:

    "So why isn't a guy like you married yet?"

    "State Constitutional Law." icon_lol.gif
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    Jun 25, 2013 9:58 PM GMT
    My house was used for a friend's large party, at a time when I had to be out of the country. Back when everything was new and my dogs were young and still in the "cute puppy" stage. As I hear it, a group of women spent the first half of the party arguing about which one was going to marry me and take over the premises. By the end of the party, they had decided that I must be gay, and hence not worth arguing over. Apparently the kitchen design and the track lighting were the give-away's. Jealous bitches. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jun 25, 2013 10:05 PM GMT
    This rarely comes up anymore. I don't announce to anyone "I am gay," but I also don't avoid it. If someone is discussing their marriage or relationship and I have something relevant to add, I will discuss mine. If there is a discussion with friends, neighbors, or coworkers about dating, I will join in and talk about my experiences and not make it gender-neutral.
  • reisetyler

    Posts: 44

    Jun 25, 2013 11:45 PM GMT
    i say no but my boyfriend is
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    Jun 25, 2013 11:51 PM GMT
    I just snap my fingers and say "Guuurrrlll get back to me when I'm done painting my nails, mmkay?". Just kidding. I'm JUST KIDDING. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jun 26, 2013 12:10 AM GMT
    Yup..Two of my new co-workers went ahead and planned a knock
    down drag out weekend for 'us'which included a stop at a local(straight) strip club..

    Me: 'So.. after we go to your strip club..can we go to a gay strip club?'

    Them : 'F*ck no!' 'Why would we do that?'

    : Very awkward Silence :

    They still treat me just the same..if not better icon_cool.gif
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    Jun 26, 2013 2:56 AM GMT
    Curious... How do you feel about this interaction with her? Pissed? Amused? Offended?