Coming out gone bad

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 30, 2013 12:16 AM GMT
    I just told a friend that was supposed to be like my bro that I'm bi and he literally turned his back on me. That's the first/only person I ever told... I guess some things are better kept to yourself
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    Jun 30, 2013 12:22 AM GMT
    Give it time, and if he never accepts it then he was never your friend in the first place.
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    Jun 30, 2013 12:24 AM GMT
    I say the same what the guys above me said.
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    Jun 30, 2013 12:25 AM GMT
    alittlecurious saidI just told a friend that was supposed to be like my bro that I'm bi and he literally turned his back on me. That's the first/only person I ever told... I guess some things are better kept to yourself


    If that were at all true, none of us would have come out.

    ....and we did. icon_wink.gif

    PS you're going to let this guy keep you in a closet?
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    Jun 30, 2013 12:37 AM GMT
    alittlecurious saidI just told a friend that was supposed to be like my bro that I'm bi and he literally turned his back on me. That's the first/only person I ever told... I guess some things are better kept to yourself
    He's probably totally gay and hates you for not just saying you're gay...ya know...like many other gays who don't believe there's a gray area of sexuality.
  • camfer

    Posts: 892

    Jun 30, 2013 4:22 AM GMT
    You learned the truth about him, and he learned the truth about you. In the long run, this is a good outcome.

    If you're lucky he'll tell everyone you're bi and save you the hassle of doing it yourself. If you have someone you want to tell first, do it quickly while you still can.
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    Jun 30, 2013 4:43 AM GMT
    Make new friends in the meantime and look forward to finding those who accept you for you
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    Jun 30, 2013 8:25 AM GMT
    I am sorry to hear that man,i only told two of my best friends that know me all my life,i had the felling thy would not mind and i was right.But give a man some time i am sure it will all be great icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jun 30, 2013 8:33 AM GMT
    Thanks for the kind words everybody. I just needed to vent, get it off my chest. Maybe he'll come around. I don't think I can look at him or even be in the same room as him right now. I'll be fine, I'm just gonna focus on my work for now and take everything else a day at a time.

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    Jun 30, 2013 10:55 AM GMT
    JumpMan_Josh saidGive it time, and if he never accepts it then he was never your friend in the first place.


    Bingo if you can't be honest with your friends then they're not friends.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Jun 30, 2013 11:55 AM GMT
    The people who matter don't care, and the people who care don't matter.

    If he doesn't come around, you're better off without him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 30, 2013 11:59 AM GMT
    Maybe in a couple of years when you come out as gay your friend will come back.
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    Jun 30, 2013 2:16 PM GMT
    Homophobia is so strong in some people that (a) they are afraid you are going to try to seduce them and that coming out is just a first step in that process, and (b) if they are seen in public with you then others, especially the ladies, will think you're both queer. When dealing with someone like this it may help to reassure them that neither is true.
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    Jun 30, 2013 4:38 PM GMT
    Nivek saidHomophobia is so strong in some people that (a) they are afraid you are going to try to seduce them and that coming out is just a first step in that process, and (b) if they are seen in public with you then others, especially the ladies, will think you're both queer. When dealing with someone like this it may help to reassure them that neither is true.


    Well for the record, for some reason most people assume he is gay anyway when they meet him. I don't know why, he's not feminine or anything. I've seen it happen multiple times.

    And as far as dealing with ladies, I helped this guy get laid more times than anybody else around him.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jun 30, 2013 4:44 PM GMT
    I'd blow it off.. think about who you are telling and make it simple. For most, it won't make any difference at all in the least. You just chose one jerk.
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    Jun 30, 2013 4:51 PM GMT
    smartmoney saidMaybe in a couple of years when you come out as gay your friend will come back.

    Right, because friends should never ditch someone who comes out as gay, only one who comes out as bisexual since they're just "confused". No more confused and no less stigmatized than you, sir. You're condemning one form of marginalization and perpetuating another, which is utter hypocrisy. Don't be a dick.
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    Jun 30, 2013 5:56 PM GMT
    i guess it a case of ''maybe he can see'' thing. One day your friend will have to deal with his issues! He sounds like a suspect. I think he is gay too.
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    Jun 30, 2013 6:02 PM GMT
    Just remember, you've had months/years to come to grips with your sexuality. To expect everyone to just accept it unconditionally and immediately is unfair and unrealistic. If someone truly had no clue, you can't predict how they might react. Give it a little time and space. If nothing changes, you have your answer.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3531

    Jun 30, 2013 9:51 PM GMT
    When he turned his back did he grab his ankles? Lol

    I would have said, "you're turning your back on me just gives me a great look at your butt you know."
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    Jun 30, 2013 9:54 PM GMT
    JumpMan_Josh saidGive it time, and if he never accepts it then he was never your friend in the first place.



    VERY WISE. icon_exclaim.gif
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Jun 30, 2013 10:31 PM GMT
    i am sorry to hear that buddy. i would give him some time to think about it. if he is still not speaking to you after a couple of weeks than just move on buddy
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Jun 30, 2013 10:34 PM GMT
    dick pics or it didnt happen!!
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    Jun 30, 2013 10:47 PM GMT
    "Don't confuse the people who are always around for the people who will always be there." I would give him a second chance...not for him to come around, but for for him to make up for acting like such a little bitch about this and not considering how you might feel. You deserve to have friends who are going to be there for you AND have your back when you need it, not just people to hang around with and help get laid.

    I had a very similar experience with one of my buddies whom I roomed with when I was in my mid 20's. He was a friend I grew up with and went to school and college with. He turned his back on me when I said that i thought I might be bi and I fucking called him out on it. I apologized to him for not recognizing how much of a pussy he was and for thinking he was a stronger person than he was... my exact words. In fact I even said flat out, "As someone who has known you for years, I should have realized that you weren't secure enough to handle this. My bad." He apologized, and we were able to make up but I never forget about his weakness and eventually I just cut ties with him. I went on to make several really good friends. Come out when you're ready and to the people you're comfortable with. Good luck sir.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jun 30, 2013 11:20 PM GMT
    Apparition saidWhen he turned his back did he grab his ankles? Lol

    I would have said, "you're turning your back on me just gives me a great look at your butt you know."

    Lol, you beat me to it (pun intended).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 02, 2013 1:06 AM GMT
    OP, would be great if you could post updates on this.