Anyone experience being friends with a guy of the same race who also likes the same guys outside your race as you do?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 01, 2013 2:59 AM GMT
    This is certainly not meant to be a flame-throwing race thread, but it bears mentioning anyway. I'm just wanting to know if this could potentially create obstacles in a friendship. I have a buddy who I've started hanging out with a bit. Him and I are Black and find Latino guys attractive, but not exclusively. I'm just concerned about the competitive forces that may exist in this type of friendship. It manifested itself the other night while we were hanging out. We ended up practically 'sharing' a guy who was pretty much attracted to both of us.

    It started off with him kissing and making out with this guy at the bar. But here's the kicker. My friend has a BOYFRIEND and this other guy was his boyfriend's best friend! So, I had to mitigate the situation and tell him that's not the right thing to do. My friend then directed the attention off of him and onto me (he should have done that from the get go, and never allowed it to go as far as it did) and at the end we hooked up 1 on 1. Perfect diversion, but I felt like he handed me a plate that he ate off of.

    I ended up having a conversation with him the next day, laying down things I expect in a friendship. The fact he made out with his boyfriend's best friend, kind of makes me concerned that 1 day he'd try and make out with someone I'm kicking it with.

    The reason I bring race into this, is because the fact that it's very clear that when you're minorities and going after other minorities, the numbers are smaller. Greater chance of crossing paths and 'inbreeding'. On a more general scale, I have not known many guys of ANY race that dates outside of theirs, keep the company of guys that also date outside their race. I know this is true because a Russian guy I met up with a couple times who likes Black guys, told me of this Latino guy who I know well, likes Black guys. He says everytime he tried to say hi to him, he'd give him the stink eye or fail to acknowledge him.



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    Jul 01, 2013 3:10 AM GMT
    ihateyoutoo saidno offense but you and your friend sound like a bunch of trifling hos that think with your dicks and could care less about the aftermath of the mess that you create.


    No offense, really? You sound like a judgemental prick that never gets laid. My friend is the one with the boyfriend, not me. I wasn't the one taking anybody from their boyfriend.
    So how could that make me trifling?
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Jul 01, 2013 3:19 AM GMT
    tumblr_mdp374Vbcy1rn791f.gif
  • Rene_Aensland

    Posts: 2495

    Jul 01, 2013 3:20 AM GMT
    PR_GMR saidtumblr_mdp374Vbcy1rn791f.gif


    I was just like that 2 minutes ago when I read this.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 01, 2013 3:36 AM GMT
    ihateyoutoo said
    well, do you date black men?

    Okay, I know where you're going with this. And I'm well aware that this would be considered silly, due to the simply fact that people who date their own race have friends of their own race. They too date within their race have been friends forever.
    But as for your question, yes I have...but in Denver it's different. Either they are mad fem, or they be throwing mad shade. So, I have to work with what I have to work with.

    PR_GMR saidtumblr_mdp374Vbcy1rn791f.gif

    Come on now, put the popcorn away. This is not a soap opera. I'm not looking to start a fight. I'm just gathering information from people who may have some insight into this particular friendship dynamic. If this thread starts turning into fighting, I'm just going to stop responding.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 01, 2013 3:47 AM GMT
    ihateyoutoo said
    fuck this. not to take away from your thread but i feel like we should turn this thread to an interview for a second with me asking you the questions and you answering them.

    so how is denver different? have long have you been in denver for to come to that conclusion?

    Ms. Thang-a-boo, I know what I'm talking about. I've been here for over 2 years. Now, I'm not going to sidetrack or throw this thread into a tangent over some bullshit.

    It's different because it's different. Maybe just come out here and see for yourself. For one there's not alot of us out here to begin with. Now, the ones I've met...It didn't click. I'm not going to force myself to feel something that I don't. The other half are into White guys, and then the rest too busy throwing shade. It is what it is okay. That's the fact of the matter. It's not something I'm making up.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jul 01, 2013 3:49 AM GMT
    Now that your friend knows you won't cover for him, you'll probably need to find another friend to go out with.
  • kevmoran

    Posts: 1543

    Jul 01, 2013 3:51 AM GMT
    I think if you're both concerned enough with race to only date one other race, then you were meant for each other.
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    Jul 01, 2013 3:56 AM GMT
    johnnydeppthroat saidI think if you're both concerned enough with race to only date one other race, then you were meant for each other.

    I never said I only date Latinos nor that he does either. But we're both into them, so it might boil down to us liking the same guy...and that guy possibly liking both of us as well. Hopefully the other guy has more willpower and so does my friend, to not cross that line.
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    Jul 01, 2013 4:04 AM GMT
    Broseph saidThis needs to be combined with the aliens thread.

    Whatever, I guess you guys just aren't seeing it the way I'm seeing it. But I know I'm not the only one who sees it this way though. From my personal experience, I have not known any White or Latin guys who date Black guys to really have many, if any...White or Latino friends who date Black guys. Not saying there aren't ANY, so don't give me examples. They are usually the only one in the group. Or, they'll have a bunch of Black friends.

    Y'all don't understand it because it's subliminal. People don't talk about in real life, it's hidden in the deep abysses of the mind.
  • kevmoran

    Posts: 1543

    Jul 01, 2013 4:23 AM GMT
    FuzzyPecs25 said
    Broseph saidThis needs to be combined with the aliens thread.

    Whatever, I guess you guys just aren't seeing it the way I'm seeing it. But I know I'm not the only one who sees it this way though. From my personal experience, I have not known any White or Latin guys who date Black guys to really have many, if any...White or Latino friends who date Black guys. Not saying there aren't ANY, so don't give me examples. They are usually the only one in the group. Or, they'll have a bunch of Black friends.

    Y'all don't understand it because it's subliminal. People don't talk about in real life, it's hidden in the deep abysses of the mind.

    People talk about this in real life... a lot.

    Basically you're the stereotypical self-hating black gay man who will only date white and latin men. And you're frustrated because there are many of you, and now you're all competing for the same guys. And it's not that white or latin guys don't like black men, it's that they can smell your desperation for racial approval and run the other direction.

    When you find yourself dating people because of who they are, and not because of their race, you will find that guys of all races will want to be around you. Including these latin guys that you seem to be chasing around.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jul 01, 2013 4:34 AM GMT
    FuzzyPecs25 said
    Broseph saidThis needs to be combined with the aliens thread.

    Whatever, I guess you guys just aren't seeing it the way I'm seeing it. But I know I'm not the only one who sees it this way though. From my personal experience, I have not known any White or Latin guys who date Black guys to really have many, if any...White or Latino friends who date Black guys. Not saying there aren't ANY, so don't give me examples. They are usually the only one in the group. Or, they'll have a bunch of Black friends.

    Y'all don't understand it because it's subliminal. People don't talk about in real life, it's hidden in the deep abysses of the mind.

    Are you confusing the word 'date' with 'tricking'? Sounds more like you're just out for a series of one nighters and you don't want the competition. Go out by yourself and skip the wing man, it is not that difficult to pick up guys to fuck.
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    Jul 01, 2013 4:54 AM GMT
    johnnydeppthroat said
    Basically you're the stereotypical self-hating black gay man who will only date white and latin men. And you're frustrated because there are many of you, and now you're all competing for the same guys. And it's not that white or latin guys don't like black men, it's that they can smell your desperation for racial approval and run the other direction.

    When you find yourself dating people because of who they are, and not because of their race, you will find that guys of all races will want to be around you. Including these latin guys that you seem to be chasing around.

    No, no, no mother fucker. Don't come with that bullshit about I'm a self-hating Black person. You don't know me well enough to even say that. You've got your vas deferens all twisted in a knot. So, if I'm correct from your reasoning, is that simply because I have an attraction and liking to Latin guys (again, not exclusively) that I'm self-hating? Where the fuck do you get this logic from? You're a fucking idiot. Tell that to all the other guys out there who may have preferences for guys outside their race you fucking trailer trash bitch. Don't you dare say I hate myself mother fucker, just because I have an attraction to someone outside my race. you're going to get me fired UP.

    Chasing around Latin guys? You also have that wrong. Because if you knew me a little better rather than making up baseless statements about what I do just because I feel an attraction to guys who just so happen to not be Black, you'd know I'm not that aggressive type.

    I also never said anything about White or Latino guys not liking Black men either. Where did I say that? Are you even in the right topic? Take your ass out of here. Just want to start some bullshit over something you don't even know what you're talking about.

  • kevmoran

    Posts: 1543

    Jul 01, 2013 4:57 AM GMT
    FuzzyPecs25 said
    johnnydeppthroat said
    Basically you're the stereotypical self-hating black gay man who will only date white and latin men. And you're frustrated because there are many of you, and now you're all competing for the same guys. And it's not that white or latin guys don't like black men, it's that they can smell your desperation for racial approval and run the other direction.

    When you find yourself dating people because of who they are, and not because of their race, you will find that guys of all races will want to be around you. Including these latin guys that you seem to be chasing around.

    No, no, no mother fucker. Don't come with that bullshit about I'm a self-hating Black person. You don't know me well enough to even say that.

    You've got your vas deferens all twisted in a knot. So, if I'm correct from your reasoning, is that simply because I have an attraction and liking from Latin guys (again, not exclusively) that I'm self-hating? Where the fuck do you get this logic from?

    I also never said anything about White or Latino guys not liking Black men either. Where did I say that? Are you even in the right topic? Take your ass out here. Just want to start some bullshit over something you don't even know what you're talking about.

    "I have not known any White or Latin guys who date Black guys"

    I have read a lot of what you post. Everything is along the same line, every post you ever write has something to do with race and black guys are this, black guys do that. I'll agree, I was a little upfront and aggressive, but this is seriously your 1000th post about how you don't like black men and prefer other races.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 01, 2013 5:04 AM GMT
    johnnydeppthroat said
    "I have not known any White or Latin guys who date Black guys"


    Haha, really nice of you to cut off my fucking post to serve your own goddam agenda. If you would have read, you would have seen I actually said:
    I have not known any White or Latin guys who date Black guys to really have many, if any...White or Latino friends who date Black guys.
    I was simply using that to relate to my current situation, and to find out if perhaps there's a particular reason why it's so.

    Listen, I can type whatever the fuck I want to type about no matter if I want to mention race 50 BILLION times. It's my computer, it's my mother fucking internet I'm goddamn paying for and my thread. If you don't like it, get the fuck out. This is real life, real time shit, if you don't understand some shit then don't fucking say shit.

    johnnydeppthroat saidEverything is along the same line, every post you ever write has something to do with race and black guys are this, black guys do that. I'll agree, I was a little upfront and aggressive, but this is seriously your 1000th post about how you don't like black men and prefer other races.


    Don't fucking tell that lie. I have not posted anything about me not liking Black men. This thread wasn't even saying that either! And where have I said Black guys do this, Black guys do that? You seriously got me mixed up with someone else.
  • kevmoran

    Posts: 1543

    Jul 01, 2013 5:09 AM GMT
    FuzzyPecs25 said
    johnnydeppthroat said
    "I have not known any White or Latin guys who date Black guys"


    Haha, really nice of you to cut off my fucking post to serve your own goddam agenda. If you would have read, you would have seen I actually said:
    I have not known any White or Latin guys who date Black guys to really have many, if any...White or Latino friends who date Black guys.
    I was simply using that to relate to my current situation, and to find out if perhaps there's a particular reason why it's so.

    Listen, I can type whatever the fuck I want to type about no matter if I want to mention race 50 BILLION times. It's my computer, it's my mother fucking internet I'm goddamn paying for and my thread. If you don't like it, get the fuck out. This is real life, real time shit, if you don't understand some shit then don't fucking say shit.

    Your quote doesn't sound any different than mine.

    But I understand the "shit", that's why I posted. I understand exactly what you mean when you say things, even if you apparently don't. I'll just reiterate, when you go after someone with no regards as to what their race is, then guys will want to be around you more.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 01, 2013 5:22 AM GMT
    johnnydeppthroat said
    I'll just reiterate, when you go after someone with no regards as to what their race is, then guys will want to be around you more.

    head-bang-o.gif
    I'm trying to be calm for a minute and explain to your fucking ASS what the deal is. You have this wild imagination that I'm going to walk out the door tonight and be like, "I want to go and find me a Latino boy. Let me go and approach every one that I see like it's a fetish. Anyone who is not Latino, can go kick rocks".

    That's not what I'm saying. The thread really wasn't even about that, but you misunderstood so much, it's about that now. I can go about my business and go about my day meeting guys and not be concerned about what their race is. If you've ever seen me in action, I am indiscriminate about who I find attraction in.

    You're making a problem out of no problem! I didn't even say anything about me exclusively dating Latino guys. You read into me liking them as an exclusive preference that excludes everyone else. You should be in summer school right now young man.


  • xzerox

    Posts: 65

    Jul 02, 2013 10:27 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs25 saidThis is certainly not meant to be a flame-throwing race thread, but it bears mentioning anyway. I'm just wanting to know if this could potentially create obstacles in a friendship. I have a buddy who I've started hanging out with a bit. Him and I are Black and find Latino guys attractive, but not exclusively. I'm just concerned about the competitive forces that may exist in this type of friendship. It manifested itself the other night while we were hanging out. We ended up practically 'sharing' a guy who was pretty much attracted to both of us.

    It started off with him kissing and making out with this guy at the bar. But here's the kicker. My friend has a BOYFRIEND and this other guy was his boyfriend's best friend! So, I had to mitigate the situation and tell him that's not the right thing to do. My friend then directed the attention off of him and onto me (he should have done that from the get go, and never allowed it to go as far as it did) and at the end we hooked up 1 on 1. Perfect diversion, but I felt like he handed me a plate that he ate off of.

    I ended up having a conversation with him the next day, laying down things I expect in a friendship. The fact he made out with his boyfriend's best friend, kind of makes me concerned that 1 day he'd try and make out with someone I'm kicking it with.

    The reason I bring race into this, is because the fact that it's very clear that when you're minorities and going after other minorities, the numbers are smaller. Greater chance of crossing paths and 'inbreeding'. On a more general scale, I have not known many guys of ANY race that dates outside of theirs, keep the company of guys that also date outside their race. I know this is true because a Russian guy I met up with a couple times who likes Black guys, told me of this Latino guy who I know well, likes Black guys. He says everytime he tried to say hi to him, he'd give him the stink eye or fail to acknowledge him.








    your a mess.