How do I deal with (premature) intense feelings for someone?

  • JimJim

    Posts: 58

    Jul 01, 2013 6:47 AM GMT
    So I've been hanging out with this guy for about a week now and although it's been a really short time, I really feel like we have a strong connection. For instance, just last night we spent hours just talking and cuddling and I just felt perfectly content.

    The thing is though I think I'm letting my emotions get the better of me and I don't want to feel this way. I find myself thinking about him all the time when we're not together, wondering if he'll text me, etc and it's getting in the way of me being able to just go about my day normally. I hate this vulnerable feeling, especially over a guy I just met, and I need advice on how to handle it.

    I'm not worried about scaring the other guy off though, I think I've been doing a good job at not showing my emotions on my sleeve because I don't want to come across as overly dependent and needy, but I think trying to contain my emotions is in part contributing to my feelings above.
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    Jul 01, 2013 12:33 PM GMT
    Until you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you can't develop a true intimate relationship. Sounds like you are at the beginning of something special! Embrace it. You're supposed to be distracted and unable to concentrate when you're falling in love. That's how it works. Cherish it.
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    Jul 01, 2013 12:41 PM GMT
    d56mike saidUntil you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you can't develop a true intimate relationship. Sounds like you are at the beginning of something special! Embrace it. You're supposed to be distracted and unable to concentrate ehen you're falling in love. That's how it works. Cherish it.


    +1
    Yep. Sounds amazing! Enjoy the rollercoaster.
  • LoveAndPeace

    Posts: 460

    Jul 01, 2013 4:25 PM GMT
    Awwww i want that :3
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    Jul 01, 2013 4:39 PM GMT
    this thread was what I needed and the advices !! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 01, 2013 5:59 PM GMT
    When you decided to cuddle each other for hours while having a conversation, then it's no surprise that you developed feelings. Cuddling means sharing an intimate moment that's usually accompanied with emotion. My suggestions to getting over your feelings: 1) stop cuddling - stick with conversation only....and 2) you need time - eventually you'll get over him and see him nothing more than a good friend.
  • heyom

    Posts: 389

    Jul 01, 2013 8:53 PM GMT
    No point in fighting them.... the more you fight them, the more they will bother you. Letting them just flow is the only true option. THats what I think anyways.
  • linvect96

    Posts: 22

    Jul 01, 2013 9:21 PM GMT
    I'm just like you - I crush very hard on people.

    My advice is not what you [or I] want to hear. I HATE being vulnerable, but there's no getting around it.

    You have to tell yourself: you're doing nothing wrong or embarrassing by having strong feelings for someone. Of course, don't let them gush out and overwhelm someone, which it sounds like you're already being careful about.

    But you have to allow yourself to be open...and if he decides he's not into it, then you have to have confidence in yourself knowing that you simply did what your heart told you to and move on. It's not a judgment on you (unless you went crazy on him, of course).
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    Jul 01, 2013 10:10 PM GMT
    There are some people that meet and hit it off immediately and are able to stick together!
    ..Then there are some that hit it off at first and things fade.

    ..Personally i'm excited for you ..I hope the bond and communication remains strong..

    I get first dibs at 'Maid Of Honor'.. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 01, 2013 10:30 PM GMT
    Sounds great but like you said, don't become so needy.
    If it's an early friendship, personally I think neediness can really change the dynamic of the friendship.

    Instead of bottling it up, it's good to share it to someone like you have done now.
    Talk about this stuff to friends you feel you can trust and it will help you keep yourself in check too.

    Talk to someone level headed though and not someone who will be like "omg marry him now".

    Anyway I wish you all the best, he sounds like he'll at least be a good friend to have.
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    Jul 01, 2013 10:43 PM GMT
    Yep
    Sucks to be you...it's only going to get worse.
    --what ever you do stay away from country radio stations.
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    Jul 02, 2013 12:31 AM GMT
    Anocxu saidThere are some people that meet and hit it off immediately and are able to stick together!
    ..Then there are some that hit it off at first and things fade.

    ..Personally i'm excited for you ..I hope the bond and communication remains strong..

    I get first dibs at 'Maid Of Honor'.. icon_biggrin.gif


    I get to play the piano. "Marry Me" by Train. I'll make you all melt.