Am I in love with the wrong guy?

  • RainBow_Drago...

    Posts: 337

    Jul 01, 2013 1:25 PM GMT
    I just want to start this off by saying I'M IN BIG TROUBLE! ):

    i'm in love with my best mate!
    yup sucks I know!! and he's straight too): probably homophobic.

    He doesn't know I'm gay and I can't ignore the feelings i'm having for him.
    RESIZED TEXT GOES HERECOLORED TEXT GOES HERE need your help ):
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 01, 2013 2:14 PM GMT
    ooo that really hurts! & yup! it sucks.
    I'm afraid, there's very little chance of you two getting together.

    If he's totally straight & also homophobic(lets assume for a moment that he's not), still there's very very little chance!

    My best friend's friend is Bi, and he tried to come closer to my friend, but my friend is straight...fortunately not homophobic, but he gave a good lecture to his friend. :-/

    Difficult days ahead...
    First thing you need to know whether he's homophobic or not!
    Then you can decide later!
    but, you should not be surprised and disappointed if anything goes wrong...

    My advice is
    be prepared, try to control your feelings, if possible stop those feelings completely & don't expect 'fire from ice water'
    I wish you All the best.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 01, 2013 2:57 PM GMT
    So if you're already in love with your best mate, then what's your question?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 01, 2013 2:59 PM GMT
    Ask him if he wants to get gay married, that's my new favorite ice breaker.
  • RainBow_Drago...

    Posts: 337

    Jul 01, 2013 7:22 PM GMT
    great answers (:
    guys thanks for the replies.....

    I flirt with him ( jokingly ) sometimes like kissing him in the cheeks holding his hands and just fooling around and he doesn't seem to mind it maybe cuz we are best friends and so he sees me as a brother nevertheless he is seeing some girl right now I know that cuz he told me about her and he comes from a strict family and i know if i spill it out and tell him my feelings towards him it will be the end of our friendship and he's really a nice guy and i wouldn't wanna loose him for my selfishness.
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    Jul 01, 2013 10:28 PM GMT
    I've been through it 100 times and, sorry my friend, there's no solution.
    Enjoy what you can of it.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jul 01, 2013 11:40 PM GMT
    I can't understand guys who waste their time pining over a guy they can NEVER have, hoping that someday this other guy will suddenly turn gay.
    Don't you deserve better than this ?
    How many years are you going to let go by before you go looking for someone wonderful who will love you as a husband/partner ?
    FIVE years ?
    TEN years ?
    TWENTY years ?


  • Rene_Aensland

    Posts: 2495

    Jul 01, 2013 11:42 PM GMT
    Webster666 saidI can't understand guys who waste their time pining over a guy they can NEVER have, hoping that someday this other guy will suddenly turn gay.
    Don't you deserve better than this ?
    How many years are you going to let go by before you go looking for someone wonderful who will love you as a husband/partner ?
    FIVE years ?
    TEN years ?
    TWENTY years ?




    All this. ^ ^^^^^
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 01, 2013 11:56 PM GMT
    RainBow_Dragon2000 saidgreat answers (:
    guys thanks for the replies.....

    I flirt with him ( jokingly ) sometimes like kissing him in the cheeks holding his hands and just fooling around and he doesn't seem to mind it maybe cuz we are best friends and so he sees me as a brother nevertheless he is seeing some girl right now I know that cuz he told me about her and he comes from a strict family and i know if i spill it out and tell him my feelings towards him it will be the end of our friendship and he's really a nice guy and i wouldn't wanna loose him for my selfishness.


    ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
    There ya go!
  • foig

    Posts: 33

    Jul 02, 2013 5:45 PM GMT
    kind of like when a girl likes a guy but finds out he's gay. Just be best friends, your straight best friend.But you shouldn't tell him you like him if you know he doesn't feel the same way.
  • RainBow_Drago...

    Posts: 337

    Jul 02, 2013 8:03 PM GMT
    Guys hanks for taking out the time to read my post and leave your valuable opinions/advice (:

    Well I guess somethings are just never meant to be ):

    I know his is not going anywhere and we will never be more than just best friends.

    and i'm sure there will be tragedy because my friend is kinda homophobic .


    but unfortunately until I can find someone else for for affections it will not get any better.

    And like I said before, will never wanna risk what I have which is our friendship for something I know I can never have.

    He likes me as his best mate and that's enough for me we hang out almost everyday and if i'm not at his place he's at mine
    and in several occasions has told me that I'm a good friend and that he trusts me.

    but how do I get rid of these feelings? ):
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 02, 2013 8:14 PM GMT
    I'd like to know how guys get rid of those feelings too. For me it always ended in tragedy. Later I figured out when to put distance between myself and the object of my affection. Now it isn't an issue.
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    Jul 02, 2013 8:35 PM GMT
    cantchya love him without sleeping with him?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 03, 2013 12:08 PM GMT
    I've been there too. Being in love with straight guys never really works does it. Good luck moving on. I had the same thing when I was 15... and I still think about him.

    Sorrry man! Its going to super-suck.
  • RainBow_Drago...

    Posts: 337

    Jul 03, 2013 4:20 PM GMT
    the big question is how can i ever get over him when i'm seeing him almost daily ): actually i'm going to see him right now!
    going to do some shopping.
    sigh! someone just pull the trigger 'n blow me up ):
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 03, 2013 5:45 PM GMT
    RainBow_Dragon2000 said but how do I get rid of these feelings? ):

    Useless to pine over something you clearly know will never have. Put some distance in between until you get over him. else all you are doing is this ...

    3934yu85yu4.gif
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Jul 03, 2013 7:49 PM GMT
    Tell him you're gay and in love with him.
    That will take care of the seeing him everyday thing.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 03, 2013 8:19 PM GMT
    Hate to be negative but this seems like a lost cause on your part, buddy.

    You're supposedly in "love" with someone who doesn't even know you're gay who you suspect might be homophobic. I want you to take a step back and rehash that thought for just a minute so you can see what we see. Even if he isn't homophobic, you still have one fact to deal with: He's straight.

    Let it go. Just be his friend and stop trying to be his boyfriend. Get it together and put a handle on your desires/emotions for this dude before you ruin it for yourself.

    Seek greener pastures elsewhere where the cows moo the same way you do.