All the guys I've been had made the first move... why can't I??

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    Jul 05, 2013 6:58 AM GMT
    I'm already picky enough to begin with, but when I do see someone attractive to me, I seem to make all sorts of stupid excuses to not approach him ie: "he's with people", "I think he's a top", "he dances slutty", "he seems really gay", "we made eye contact but he didn't come over", etc.

    Not to say I haven't hit on anyone, but so far those dozen or so times have all ended in rejection, and some of them aren't even as hot as the ones I ended up with. I must conclude that my way of picking up guys is a huge turn-off somehow... how to fix this lol!?
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    Jul 06, 2013 2:41 PM GMT
    You fear rejection. The truth is, rejection is not as 'personal' as many people think. There are thousands of reasons someone might reject you, including attraction - though we almost ALWAYS go to the idea that, "I'm not attractive". The thing is, you ARE attractive to someone (I have no idea what you look like because you don't have a pic available, but it doesn't matter).

    Now, attraction is only ONE reason why you might get rejected. Imagine all of the reasons you might reject someone - you are dating someone, you are interested in someone else in the room, you are just not dating, you are with friends and don't want to ditch them, . . . If you go in with the idea that you are a catch and think of all you have to offer, the rejection will feel more like HIS loss. Maybe this is just playing a game with yourself, but I think it is a healthy way to deal with rejection.

    Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Push past your fear and dive in. Remember that everyone fears rejection on some level, so you show confidence when you are the one that takes the initiative.
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    Jul 06, 2013 3:14 PM GMT
    gooddaytoday saidI'm already picky enough to begin with, but when I do see someone attractive to me, I seem to make all sorts of stupid excuses to not approach him ie: "he's with people", "I think he's a top", "he dances slutty", "he seems really gay", "we made eye contact but he didn't come over", etc.

    Not to say I haven't hit on anyone, but so far those dozen or so times have all ended in rejection, and some of them aren't even as hot as the ones I ended up with. I must conclude that my way of picking up guys is a huge turn-off somehow... how to fix this lol!?



    Don't treat it as a game of rejection. You don't call not mastering a video game the first time REJECTION....nope you just play it over and over again until you proceed to higher levels for fun. Also being social has tentacles so the more guys you hit on in a friendly way the more you are known and that payoffs in ways you can't predict.

    I hit on this super handsome guy at a club last year just to see if A guy that hot would talk to me , just for fun, since I was with my ex at the time . Later last year we split up and in a move I never saw coming Mr. Handsome started texting me when he found out I was single. Ya just never know so just be friendly to everyone. The dude that said no may have a roommate who would say yes etc.