Hoping for some advice on a sex situation

  • Sirloin

    Posts: 7

    Jul 08, 2013 6:50 PM GMT
    Without getting too into details of the relationship itself (which would probably end with many of you telling me a lot of things I already know), I wanted to ask a question about a problem I have with sex with my mate.

    I am a bottom, like a 99% of the time bottom only sex fiend. The thing that is off about me though is that while I will be hard during anal, I rarely blow my load during sex because I get overwhelmed with the pleasure of just having a guy/toy in me and melt inside. The problem with this is that it is leaving my mate a bit disappointed that he didn't manage to make me shoot even though I am completely and totally satisfied and I have let him know as much repeatedly. It's nothing he is doing wrong and I couldn't care overly much about my penis (even though I wouldn't ever want to give it up), but I feel bad since he feels bad, so I need some advice on what to do about it.

    My options as I see it is:
    1- let him get me off before we even start anal, because once that starts my mind turns to jelly and its probably not gonna happen.
    2- Try and train myself through masturbation and toys to shoot only during active sex. (Possible, but I haven't had much luck with it as even with toys I can get satisfied with just anal play).
    3- Stop all masturbation period so that the only time that gets stimulation is during sex and hope for the best.
    4- Just deal with it and tell him to get used to it.
    5- ??? I dunno.

    I've loved this guy for years and years and want this to work out. I know relationships are never perfect, but I at least have always strove to make sex the best it can possibly be. I don't think he would leave me over this, but I never want to make him feel like he is letting me down, since he's probably the best thing in my life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 08, 2013 10:38 PM GMT
    Give me a call, I love bottoms who love to get banged and I find it boring to try and make them get off when I know taking my Bill Clinton deep inside them is all they ever really wanted.
  • Sirloin

    Posts: 7

    Jul 09, 2013 12:05 AM GMT
    smartmoney saidGive me a call, I love bottoms who love to get banged and I find it boring to try and make them get off when I know taking my Bill Clinton deep inside them is all they ever really wanted.


    How sweet, too bad you wouldn't be able to deal with me, and are already taking me too lightly just because I am overly honest and up front.
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    Jul 09, 2013 4:13 AM GMT
    icon_exclaim.gifStop all masturbation period


    Don't masturbate! Let the guy do it for you (anal, oral, or handjob) and teach him how you like it done. If he can get you off with a handjob then have it done while he's fucking you.
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    Jul 09, 2013 4:17 AM GMT


    "1- let him get me off before we even start anal, because once that starts my mind turns to jelly and its probably not gonna happen."

    Yep; fun for him and you, then afterwards fun for you and him, lol.
  • DannyF

    Posts: 2

    Jul 09, 2013 4:36 PM GMT
    roro89 said
    icon_exclaim.gifStop all masturbation period


    Don't masturbate! Let the guy do it for you (anal, oral, or handjob) and teach him how you like it done. If he can get you off with a handjob then have it done while he's fucking you.


    +1

    This is what I would do
  • Sirloin

    Posts: 7

    Jul 09, 2013 9:53 PM GMT
    Looks like 1 and 3 are the winners. The only problem currently with no masturbation is that because we are still long distance but working towards living together is that I only get to see him for a few days a month. This means close to a month without jacking off for me... I have some pretty strong willpower but with how sexual of a person I am...

    Whatever, I guess I'll do it. Or at least seriously attempt it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 11, 2013 2:47 AM GMT
    Item 1 doesn't seem like a viable option to me because once you squirt you're going to have a lot less interest in sex.

    In item 2, was that "can" supposed to be a "can't"? Because if you can get off with a dido then perhaps you could have him get you off with a dildo after he squirts.

    Maybe combine items 2 and 3; only play with your dick, no ass play whatsoever. Perhaps eventually you'll be able to squirt with only dick play. Then maybe you'll be able to squirt when he's in you.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3516

    Jul 11, 2013 6:27 AM GMT
    my bf is the same as you.

    you could make the situation fun for him by role-playing it. Your scenario would be cum slut female whore and playa.

    slut: that's it? what about my orgasm?
    playa: you should just be happy you got to see ANY of my dick, you wanna cum, you got fingers, I got mine, I dont give a shit about you now, cya.

    pimp hats are optional.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 13, 2013 6:13 PM GMT
    Well, here are my suggestions for both the o.p. Sirloin, and for pf0081:

    Sirloin: What works for me in this case is to have my partner sit on me while I fuck him, and then jack himself all over my chest and face. You could do that - if your partner wants you to cum while he's in you - try it that way. He'll be happy seeing and feeling you splash him with your hot nectar.

    Pf0081: Lots and lots of lube is what I suggest for you. I used to feel just as you do. I couldn't wait for a top to get off of me. It was Hell waiting. Then, I discovered lots of lube and a lot of foreplay / patience, practice with toys while alone, and all of those things helped me change into a guy who thoroughly enjoys bottoming / and flipping.
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    Jul 13, 2013 6:16 PM GMT
    Try some benzocaine, amethocaine gel or cream a couple of minutes before penetration. Also Boy butter has a lube for 'fussy' bottoms.
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    Jul 13, 2013 7:39 PM GMT
    pf0081 saidThe problem is, it hurts.

    I agree with jockbod48 that you need lots of lube. What should also help is lots of butt foreplay; fingers, little dildos, dick (yours) play, etc. When you're horny and want it you'll enjoy it. (I don't suggest rimming because the health risks with that are significant.)
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    Jul 14, 2013 11:35 AM GMT
    Sirloin said
    smartmoney saidGive me a call, I love bottoms who love to get banged and I find it boring to try and make them get off when I know taking my Bill Clinton deep inside them is all they ever really wanted.


    How sweet, too bad you wouldn't be able to deal with me, and are already taking me too lightly just because I am overly honest and up front.

    Nah, I could deal with a picless whiner, I just choose not too. I take you lightly because everything about you screams "attention whore".