Does Having a Perfect Body Screw You in the Long Run?

  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Jul 09, 2013 4:53 AM GMT
    Sure, you may have countless men lining up to date/screw you, but you effectively become disposable. You can, and most likely will, be replaced by a guy who is physically hotter than you.

    I believe there is too much of an emphasis on physical reformation. We all want to look, essentially, the same. If you have always been thin and gangly, then that is the way you are. Why force yourself to change into a "muscle jock" or whatever other stupid label can be slapped on you? It shows a lack of willingness to truly accept how you are.

    I've seen enough good guys go through the churner and come out physically perfect, but they are never the same. All the joy is taken out of food, which is a huge NO NO. They can't eat this, they can't eat that, or worse, they subsist on a liquid diet. Then they can't hang out with these people, or those people, can't go to this place, or that place, and their world gets smaller and smaller. Until their life is one homogenized, safety sealed, compartmentalized, six-month-planned-ahead nightmare.

    Ever notice how long time gay couples always seem to be composed of men with average looks and bodies, with average jobs and lives, who would be called "boring", but there is an incredible light about them?
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    Jul 09, 2013 5:19 AM GMT
    NeutralObserver saidSure, you may have countless men lining up to date/screw you, but you effectively become disposable. You can, and most likely will, be replaced by a guy who is physically hotter than you.



    Unless you're THE hottest guy on the planet, then you can rule atop your oiled-up throne and be the most powerful gay ever A HA HAHAHAH!!!!!!
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Jul 09, 2013 5:22 AM GMT
    Matiz said
    NeutralObserver saidSure, you may have countless men lining up to date/screw you, but you effectively become disposable. You can, and most likely will, be replaced by a guy who is physically hotter than you.



    Unless you're THE hottest guy on the planet, then you can rule atop your oiled-up throne and be the most powerful gay ever A HA HAHAHAH!!!!!!


    Haha. Who IS the hottest guy on the planet?
  • killercliche

    Posts: 948

    Jul 09, 2013 5:35 AM GMT
    NeutralObserver said
    I believe there is too much of an emphasis on physical reformation. We all want to look, essentially, the same. If you have always been thin and gangly, then that is the way you are. Why force yourself to change into a "muscle jock" or whatever other stupid label can be slapped on you? It shows a lack of willingness to truly accept how you are.



    This is just point blank wrong. Your body is not a reflection of who you are; your body is a living history of what you have done to yourself. Being thin and gangly, husky, or 8% body fat equally have nothing to do with "how you naturally are". Furthermore, the concept of "how you naturally are" is just intellectual laziness posing as justification for someone not wanting to try harder at any given task.
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Jul 09, 2013 5:37 AM GMT
    spiderlini saidthat's main reason why the whole idea of looking attractive, having a nice body and the whole entire idea of superficiality and people relying on it is pointless. it really DOESN'T pay off in the long run because it's all momentary. nobody lives forever and life throws curveballs where shit changes and you have to adjust to it or you're dead. looks fade and so does life. none of that shit last forever and it makes no sense holding to something like that when life pretty much is not guaranteed tomorrow. you have these folks that are older in denial trying to preserve their youth, getting botox or trying to look like how they were when they were 20. you can't reverse time. the past is the past. get over it. why waste that shit on something that will go away? you can basically make an impact on the world through what you do, what you say, how you act and etc where your name rings bells and you'll be immortal where your name and memory will live on after you die. you pretty much broke it down. there's plenty of attractive people that have came and gone and there will be plenty more coming into this world. fuck being attractive or being cute. i would rather be the ugliest guy in the room that is known for my personality where people know me. folks need to take a lesson from the workings of the model industry. a successful model has a shelf life of 2 years top and then they're finished. nobody wants them anymore because they're old news. that's why most models just disappear or you never see them again. they're basically discarded like trash. everybody forgets a pretty face BUT everybody always remembers a personality though.

    with that said, i don't like it when people focus on my appearance and etc. i don't give a fuck about looking cute or whatever. i'll look like a bum just to see where somebody's head is @ or if they can see past that when dealing with me.


    You should take care of yourself and look good for yourself. Worry about building your own self esteem.
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Jul 09, 2013 5:46 AM GMT
    killercliche said
    NeutralObserver said
    I believe there is too much of an emphasis on physical reformation. We all want to look, essentially, the same. If you have always been thin and gangly, then that is the way you are. Why force yourself to change into a "muscle jock" or whatever other stupid label can be slapped on you? It shows a lack of willingness to truly accept how you are.



    This is just point blank wrong. Your body is not a reflection of who you are; your body is a living history of what you have done to yourself. Being thin and gangly, husky, or 8% body fat equally have nothing to do with "how you naturally are". Furthermore, the concept of "how you naturally are" is just intellectual laziness posing as justification for someone not wanting to try harder at any given task.


    I see how one can see it as laziness, but I see too many gay men completely change physically but still have the same low self esteem because instead of being ignored altogether they are now being "devoured" by both men who can and cannot have them, and in turn, spit out.

    The real question is this. Work on your body strenuously for false adulation or work on your mind and soul and attract the kind of people who will be in your life for good?
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Jul 09, 2013 5:59 AM GMT
    spiderlini said
    NeutralObserver said
    spiderlini saidthat's main reason why the whole idea of looking attractive, having a nice body and the whole entire idea of superficiality and people relying on it is pointless. it really DOESN'T pay off in the long run because it's all momentary. nobody lives forever and life throws curveballs where shit changes and you have to adjust to it or you're dead. looks fade and so does life. none of that shit last forever and it makes no sense holding to something like that when life pretty much is not guaranteed tomorrow. you have these folks that are older in denial trying to preserve their youth, getting botox or trying to look like how they were when they were 20. you can't reverse time. the past is the past. get over it. why waste that shit on something that will go away? you can basically make an impact on the world through what you do, what you say, how you act and etc where your name rings bells and you'll be immortal where your name and memory will live on after you die. you pretty much broke it down. there's plenty of attractive people that have came and gone and there will be plenty more coming into this world. fuck being attractive or being cute. i would rather be the ugliest guy in the room that is known for my personality where people know me. folks need to take a lesson from the workings of the model industry. a successful model has a shelf life of 2 years top and then they're finished. nobody wants them anymore because they're old news. that's why most models just disappear or you never see them again. they're basically discarded like trash. everybody forgets a pretty face BUT everybody always remembers a personality though.

    with that said, i don't like it when people focus on my appearance and etc. i don't give a fuck about looking cute or whatever. i'll look like a bum just to see where somebody's head is @ or if they can see past that when dealing with me.


    You should take care of yourself and look good for yourself. Worry about building your own self esteem.


    indeed but i dunno what's the big deal about appearance though where folks act all overly obsessed with that shit. i'm sure you remember growing up the last decade where most black teens were all into that materialistic shit where them and the next person's worth was determined on a throwback jersey and looking fly. it was ridiculous. icon_sad.gif so now seeing the same thing in the gay community involving looks and shit, it's the same thing. the folks that really can't stand out with the personality or whatever is going to basically try to use their looks to be recognized as saying.

    it was funny going to the pride parade and seeing many muscle twins walking around. icon_lol.gifnext year if i go to the pride parade again, i'ma take a picture of all the male couples that look like twins, all muscled up, dressing in the same shirt, same pants, same everything. they thought they were all that too. icon_lol.gif


    Dude... I thought I was the only one who noticed that. All these droves of gay men who looked alike, same hair, same body type, same clothing, same voice, same EVERYTHING. I was honestly freaked the fuck out.

    Where is the individuality? We are one of the most diverse groups of people in the world yet these men want to BE the same man. It is staggering.
  • jo2hotbod

    Posts: 3603

    Jul 09, 2013 6:19 AM GMT
    You may be replaced at some point, but just the fact that you're being replaced means you're in the game. I'd rather be in the game and replaced then never in the game and always on the side line
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Jul 09, 2013 6:21 AM GMT
    NeutralObserver said

    I believe there is too much of an emphasis on physical reformation. We all want to look, essentially, the same. If you have always been thin and gangly, then that is the way you are. Why force yourself to change into a "muscle jock" or whatever other stupid label can be slapped on you? It shows a lack of willingness to truly accept how you are.


    You're right. I don't accept being skinny and weak.

    This ectomorph here will do all he can (aside from steroids) to achieve a powerful toned body.

  • killercliche

    Posts: 948

    Jul 09, 2013 6:32 AM GMT
    NeutralObserver said
    killercliche said
    NeutralObserver said
    The real question is this. Work on your body strenuously for false adulation or work on your mind and soul and attract the kind of people who will be in your life for good?


    As if these were mutually exclusive states or that either state brings said result. I'm sorry but this sounds like a fairly tale a mother tells her kids. Intellectual laziness.
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Jul 09, 2013 6:21 PM GMT
    TheBizMan said
    NeutralObserver said

    I believe there is too much of an emphasis on physical reformation. We all want to look, essentially, the same. If you have always been thin and gangly, then that is the way you are. Why force yourself to change into a "muscle jock" or whatever other stupid label can be slapped on you? It shows a lack of willingness to truly accept how you are.


    You're right. I don't accept being skinny and weak.

    This ectomorph here will do all he can (aside from steroids) to achieve a powerful toned body.



    Why does skinny equal weak? I know "skinny" (lean) men who could throw you over their shoulders and run with you.

    This whole AIDS-era mentality that "muscled and buff equals strong and healthy is retarded". Also, I would rather skinny guys become comfortable with themselves instead of striving to become a clone of a million other men.

    I don't understand how we can say we love men but we only accept one type. It's so closed minded and kind of tragic.
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    Jul 09, 2013 6:22 PM GMT
    No.
  • neosyllogy

    Posts: 1714

    Jul 09, 2013 6:41 PM GMT
    NeutralObserver saidThe real question is this. Work on your body strenuously for false adulation or work on your mind and soul and attract the kind of people who will be in your life for good?


    Aaaand these are exclusive how?icon_rolleyes.gif


    A large number of my friends are scientists and divinity scholars, running start ups to help the blind or community engagement programs. They're deep, thinking, caring people.

    The vast majority take very good care of their bodies. About 1/4 have fitness model like physiques.

    It's not either or. In fact it's *usually* both.
    Physical well being supports mental well being.
    Mental discipline supports physical discipline.


    Are a lot of these people working on their body for other people? To make other people happy?
    Yes! They're social animals and they care about these things. (And it's especially nice to please one's intimate partners.)

    Are they hurting themselves to do so? No!
    Social pressures may help drive or shape their physical routines, but they only allow themselves to be driven because they know that disciplined exercise and diet mean they'll live longer, do more (more energy), and be better able to deal with emotional stress.


    @ OP
    I understand where you're coming from. But you ended up far off from where I think you want to be.
  • nomad4life

    Posts: 332

    Jul 09, 2013 6:46 PM GMT
    I just want to make my body look good in case one of those True Blood vampires comes around and bites me. If I'm gonna live forever might as well be hot.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 09, 2013 7:06 PM GMT
    Does having a perfect body screw you in the long run?

    I think the answer is NO as long as you develop other parts if yourself. Actually, I think having a perfect body or being very attractive is typically a big plus and provides a lot of advantages. It is only a disadvantage if you rely solely on your physical appearance and don't work on education, learning, and building up your skills. Let's face it, looks will fade eventually. But as long as you use it to your advantage while you have it and work on developing other things to fall back on once looks fade, you're still better off in the long run.
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    Jul 09, 2013 7:14 PM GMT
    I'm volunteering to find out. Get me my perfect body immediately, please. I'll report back in 40 or 50 years.
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    Jul 09, 2013 7:25 PM GMT
    Matiz said
    NeutralObserver saidSure, you may have countless men lining up to date/screw you, but you effectively become disposable. You can, and most likely will, be replaced by a guy who is physically hotter than you.



    Unless you're THE hottest guy on the planet, then you can rule atop your oiled-up throne and be the most powerful gay ever A HA HAHAHAH!!!!!!


    True. Although I have nothing near a perfect body and "hottest guy on the planet" is in the eye of the beholder, I would say with irony that I view myself as hotter now than I was when I was in my teens and twenties. Also with irony, I partake in less sex now than when I was in my teens and twenties AND NOT for lack of want. I just don't want to screw around and get all eaten up with disease.

    Whether others view me as hot, I frankly don't care. I am hot in my eyes, and that's what counts.

    I do get "looks", positive comments, and other attention from men, women, teens, and even children, and where and when appropriate I say a polite "thank you". With the children, when they look at me and/or say something like "Mommy/Daddy, look at that man he looks like (insert name of superhero or other hero here)." I usually stop and say to the child, "Now make sure you do what Mommy/Daddy tells you to do, and especially make sure you eat all of your vegetables so that you can grow up and be big like me. Will you promise me that?" The child usually answers "yes", and the parents look at me with that "thank you" kind of look.

    "Hotness" does get a person attention in personal AND professional situations. Countless times I've picked up when some hot guy or girl is trying to use their zexy on me in a personal or business situation to get their way...and I can spot it right away.

    At this point in my life, I leverage whatever "zexy" I have as a platform for many positive messages which I have for people:
    1. Take care of yourself you'll feel better, look better, and be able to achieve more in your life.
    2. If you're HIV+ or have some other manageable chronic illness, you CAN live a full healthy life.
    3. Be the best "you" that "you" can be given your heritage, genes, environment, and other circumstances. Be yourself...not somebody else.
    4. Love yourself just the way you are...and other people will pick up on that vibe and some too will love you just the way you are.
    5. In my buddy God's eyes, we are all beautiful just the way we are. If somebody else's "God" doesn't love you just the way you are, you are welcome to ignore those haters' God and be friends with mine (if you like). Ignore what the haters may say...they are wrong or they deliberately lie.

    For me, being "hot" is not really much about sex at all. Being "hot" is about living strong and using that strength in service to others.

    Besides, eventually with age, looks change and we can gracefully trade the gifts of youth for the gifts of maturity. At age 19, when I learned that I was HIV+, I never thought I would look in the mirror and even see the face of a 20 year old...let alone a 48 year old. I love how my body, face, skin, and looks have changed.

    I am grateful for how I feel and look today. I have worked at being the best I can be.

    I hope you will too.

    Aloha and Be Well!
    Alan

    P.S. I have met "Matiz" in person, and this is a man who is "hot" on the outside, but more importantly he is "hot" on the "inside". I encourage any of you who may have the opportunity to meet him to share time with him. He is a brilliant, talented, witty, authentic, and intriguing person.
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    Jul 09, 2013 7:29 PM GMT
    Nah - If you have a perfect body then it equals that you're being healthy and that's the most important thing... I'd rather have a nice & healthy body and being alone than an unhealthy diseased one.
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    Jul 09, 2013 7:31 PM GMT
    mrap2 saidNah - If you have a perfect body then it equals that you're being healthy and that's the most important thing... I'd rather have a nice & healthy body and being alone than an unhealthy diseased one.


    totally agree with mrap2 ^^^
  • Muscles25

    Posts: 394

    Jul 09, 2013 7:43 PM GMT
    I'm not worried. There is no one physically hotter than me.
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    Jul 09, 2013 7:45 PM GMT
    spiderlini said
    mrap2 saidNah - If you have a perfect body then it equals that you're being healthy and that's the most important thing... I'd rather have a nice & healthy body and being alone than an unhealthy diseased one.


    never judge a book by it's cover. icon_lol.gif

    there's plenty of guys that have HIV/AIDS and you'd never know if you only went by looking at them. with that said, i HOPE you don't apply that thinking offline.


    Actually you can't really have the body of a male model and eat Mc donalds food only. It just doesn't work like that. Besides, it'll still be better for people having HIV/Aids to have that kind of body instead of an overly fat one.

    So I can say the same about you I hope you don't have the mindset about yourself offline. :p
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 09, 2013 7:45 PM GMT
    Having a 'great body' isn't necessarily a sign of good health. How many people abuse supplements/drugs etc or chronically diet at the expense of valuable nutrients and vitamins ?

    The real danger is for someone who places their total self worth on the state of their physique or general good looks because both have a shelf life. Not to mention the rampant insecurities that can come with scrutinizing yourself constantly.



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    Jul 09, 2013 7:46 PM GMT
    NeutralObserver saidSure, you may have countless men lining up to date/screw you, but you effectively become disposable.

    Since you say having a 'perfect' body makes one disposable, does that imply that have a less than perfect body makes one desirable?

    Whether it is physique, career, finances ..etc there is always room for improvement. So if someone has put in the effort to make improvements, shouldnt that be appreciated?

    NeutralObserver saidI believe there is too much of an emphasis on physical reformation. We all want to look, essentially, the same. If you have always been thin and gangly, then that is the way you are. Why force yourself to change into a "muscle jock" or whatever other stupid label can be slapped on you? It shows a lack of willingness to truly accept how you are.

    Would you say that in regards to someone who strives to improve their financial standing, for example?

    Something like this ....

    I believe there is too much of an emphasis on money. We all want to be financially well off, essentially, financially independent. If you have always been from a low income background, then that is the way you are. Why force yourself to change into a "rich bitch" or whatever other stupid label can be slapped on you? It shows a lack of willingness to truly accept how you are.
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Jul 09, 2013 7:46 PM GMT
    Who knows in the long run, but in the short run it probably does help with getting screwed.
  • The_Guruburu

    Posts: 895

    Jul 09, 2013 7:50 PM GMT
    killercliche said
    NeutralObserver said
    I believe there is too much of an emphasis on physical reformation. We all want to look, essentially, the same. If you have always been thin and gangly, then that is the way you are. Why force yourself to change into a "muscle jock" or whatever other stupid label can be slapped on you? It shows a lack of willingness to truly accept how you are.



    This is just point blank wrong. Your body is not a reflection of who you are; your body is a living history of what you have done to yourself. Being thin and gangly, husky, or 8% body fat equally have nothing to do with "how you naturally are". Furthermore, the concept of "how you naturally are" is just intellectual laziness posing as justification for someone not wanting to try harder at any given task.


    That's true to some extent, but many people really naturally are those body types. I have a cousin who very actlive and fit, but has always been. It since a small child (her brother wasn't). I've always been thin, no matter what I ate or how active/lethargic I am.