Out and about

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2013 2:20 AM GMT
    Today, finally, I came out to my sister, all my close friends, and all my close family members, except my mother, since I don't want to be possibly cut off financially yet.

    Thanks to everyone on RJ for showing me that being gay is about who you like, not how you dress, whether or not you like sports, if you're rich or poor, etc.
    It took me a while to realize that just because you're not the stereotypical gay, doesn't mean you're not gay.

    This is the message I sent these people, thought i'd share it:


    "It's been a struggle for me and I'm sure you all had an idea, but I'm gay. I know there will be tons of questions, let me start:
    Why did I wait so long?
    Truly, I didn't know for sure until about February. I always knew guys were attractive to me, but girls as well, it was hard to differentiate thinking a girl is beautiful, to thinking I want to have sex with her and be with her forever. I've been wanting to tell you all since right when last semester was ending, but I just couldn't, and now I've been DYING to, wanted to wait to say this in person, but just can't wait any longer. You guys deserve to know the truth. Before I didn't want to let you know of my preferences because it was my secret, I didn't want anyone hiding anything for me, it's too much of a burden on me, I would never put that on you.
    Am I going to come out to everyone?
    Hopefully next semester, I wish, I hope. It's hard, my family is very homophobic, my mother. Idk if she would cut me off financially so idk if I CAN come out, that's why I ask that you guys not tell everyone, we'll play it by ear.
    Did I live a double life, straight and gay?
    As of late, yes. I've made gay friends, I've realized that just because I don't act girly, wear makeup, care about fashion, etc doesn't mean I don't feel attracted to men and that I can't see myself with a guy at the end of the day.

    Being in Boston I've met a lot of gays who've been nice to me, and in Florida as well, and I've had a lot of fun being myself. I hope you guys can forgive me for not saying this before, but I love you guys, honestly. I was very lost and confused and didn't have many people to talk to. I promise I will always be the same. I won't change. "

    P.s: don't judge for it being a message please, a lot of people close to me were abroad, if not very distant from me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2013 2:32 AM GMT
    Great work moving forward! I don't know your ma so I can't say for certain if she would cut you off (how homophobic is she exactly?) but she has to remember that you are still her son - her flesh and blood.

    I hope now you have a lot less riding on your shoulders.

    icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 10, 2013 3:08 AM GMT
    She's very homophobic lol like makes fun of gays somewhat, looks down upon them. She'll come around eventually I'm sure, it'll take time though, and can't anticipate her reaction.

    But thanks for the support bud!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2013 3:33 AM GMT
    Congratulations! And best wishes as you continue to grow into the person you've been all along.
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    Jul 10, 2013 3:59 AM GMT
    Congrats man. Btw, your pics are great. Have fun with it and be safe.

    As for your mom...

    “Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Steve Jobs

    "Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgement that something is more important than fear; The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all.” Meg Cabot
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    Jul 10, 2013 10:22 AM GMT
    Thank you, those quotes embody exactly what me and my sister discussed. My mom lived her life, she had her experiences, she was happy; now it's my turn icon_smile.gif
    Whether this "ruins" the rest of her life or not, which it won't cause she'll eventually get over it, cannot be the determining factor for me coming out or not. Now it's my turn to live my life and it sure as hell isn't going to be hiding.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Jul 10, 2013 10:24 AM GMT
    Congrats!.. though your mom is probably going to find out seeing as how you told everyone but her.

    BTW what school do you go to? I just graduated from a school in Beantown.
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    Jul 10, 2013 1:32 PM GMT
    Everyone in my family knows not to tell her until I'm ready and my sister is helping me out. I go to FSU in Tallahassee, FL; only in Boston for an internship icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 10, 2013 4:01 PM GMT
    Congratulations! This is never an easy thing to do. It doesn't matter if your 15 or 75, it's such a personal issue and resides so deep within you that sharing it can be very very difficult.

    You've done a great thing in accepting who you are and coming to terms with it. I wish you all the best and hope that all your friends and family can support you with love and open arms, as the person you are. You know you have a ton of support here in this community!! Hugs!
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    Jul 10, 2013 4:31 PM GMT
    So if I read that right, this isn't at all about a young man coming out as gay. This is about a gay man coming out as poorly dressed. I think I just dropped a tear. My slob heart couldn't be any more proud. Congrats.
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    Jul 10, 2013 5:45 PM GMT
    Haha funny posts gentlemen icon_lol.gif