My Kickstarter is Live: The Sunshine State

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    Jul 10, 2013 6:18 AM GMT
    I finally launched the thing today. I'm a little nervous about how I'm going to go ahead and get this money. If anyone who has experience with this knows how it usually goes I'd enjoy some guidance. So far I've just been emailing everyone I know:

    http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/7050352/the-sunshine-state
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Jul 10, 2013 6:21 AM GMT
    Proof read boy!
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    Jul 10, 2013 6:22 AM GMT
    TheBizMan saidProof read boy!


    I did like five times but I always miss some stuff. Where did I flub up?
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    Jul 10, 2013 6:33 AM GMT
    Use a more professional profile picture.
    The one you're using looks like an at-the-gym selfie.
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    Jul 10, 2013 6:34 AM GMT
    The slides in the sideshow are going a little too fast for how much text is on the slide (that can be slowed down a little).

    I'm not a big fan of the State of FL map thing. It doesn't look professional.

    I'm still reading it, so I'll comment more.
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    Jul 10, 2013 6:36 AM GMT
    Neight saidUse a more professional profile picture.
    The one you're using looks like an at-the-gym selfie.


    I don't have any better pictures of me. Lol I can try and get one though.
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    Jul 10, 2013 6:40 AM GMT
    Slim2010 saidThe slides in the sideshow are going a little too fast for how much text is on the slide (that can be slowed down a little).

    I'm not a big fan of the State of FL map thing. It doesn't look professional.

    I'm still reading it, so I'll comment more.


    I actually like the poster for like fifteen different reasons. At the heart this is a show about Florida and to me Florida is one big tacky messy soup of a state with just about everything thrown in there. To me the poster represents Florida. Again I wanted a sort off beat look. To me if we are being true to my vision it shouldn't look like some polished thing because that's not what I am trying to represent. My project will be rough around the edges with a lot of grit and almost like a documentary at times.
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    Jul 10, 2013 6:42 AM GMT
    EuphoricDanger said
    Slim2010 saidThe slides in the sideshow are going a little too fast for how much text is on the slide (that can be slowed down a little).

    I'm not a big fan of the State of FL map thing. It doesn't look professional.

    I'm still reading it, so I'll comment more.


    I actually like the poster for like fifteen different reasons. At the heart this is a show about Florida and to me Florida is one big tacky messy soup of a state with just about everything thrown in there. To me the poster represents Florida. Again I wanted a sort off beat look. To me if we are being true to my vision it shouldn't look like some polished thing because that's not what I am trying to represent. My project will be rough around the edges with a lot of grit and almost like a documentary at times.


    Well, if that's what you're going for then I guess you've achieved it. Theres's some punctuation and grammar stuff too; Besides that, I think the page actually looks ok. Nice job, Isaiah. :^]
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    Jul 10, 2013 6:44 AM GMT
    Slim2010 said
    EuphoricDanger said
    Slim2010 saidThe slides in the sideshow are going a little too fast for how much text is on the slide (that can be slowed down a little).

    I'm not a big fan of the State of FL map thing. It doesn't look professional.

    I'm still reading it, so I'll comment more.


    I actually like the poster for like fifteen different reasons. At the heart this is a show about Florida and to me Florida is one big tacky messy soup of a state with just about everything thrown in there. To me the poster represents Florida. Again I wanted a sort off beat look. To me if we are being true to my vision it shouldn't look like some polished thing because that's not what I am trying to represent. My project will be rough around the edges with a lot of grit and almost like a documentary at times.


    Well, if that's what you're going for then I guess you've achieved it. Theres's some punctuation and grammar stuff too; Besides that, I think the page actually looks ok. Nice job, Isaiah. :^]


    Yeah I am really proud of how it turned out. It looks just good enough so it doesn't look horrible but tacky enough that you will never forget it.

    What punctuation and grammar stuff? Please point it out because I always miss a bunch of stuff.

    Can I count on your twenty five or fifty dollar donation?
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    Jul 10, 2013 6:52 AM GMT
    Just little things. There should be a comma after the word "lastly" in the fourth paragraph, little errors like that.
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    Jul 10, 2013 7:01 AM GMT
    Slim2010 saidJust little things. There should be a comma after the word "lastly" in the fourth paragraph, little errors like that.


    Oh good! No missing words or anything like that? I ALWAYS LEAVE OUT WORDS!

    Who wants to donate?
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    Jul 10, 2013 7:03 AM GMT
    You need to focus more on yourself, and experiences...to comfort backers that you actually have what it takes to handle a 45k campaign and deliver.

    The HUGE majority of projects on kickstarter never get completed or are delayed, and people know this. They dont want to hear that you are working full time, and you will delegate responsibility to crew members...that's a huge red flag. Also you don't really show confidence in completion of the project.

    as someone that backs projects regularly on kickstarter, i wouldnt donate, as is

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    Jul 10, 2013 7:05 AM GMT
    ataraxia saidYou need to focus more on yourself, and experiences...to comfort backers that you actually have what it takes to handle a 45k campaign and deliver.

    The HUGE majority of projects on kickstarter never get completed or are delayed, and people know this. They dont want to hear that you are working full time, and you will delegate responsibility to crew members...that's a huge red flag.



    You have a really good point. I think I will go over some more of my previous endeavors and talk about what I learned from those failures. I will remove that stuff about me working and stuff. I was trying to bring realism into it but you're right. All that can be assumed but doesn't have to be said.
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    Jul 10, 2013 8:59 AM GMT
    I added in some of your suggestions y'all. Let me know what you think.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Jul 10, 2013 1:34 PM GMT
    Oright, Isaiah. I'm an independent filmmaker with several projects under my belt. Went to film school at the University Of Maryland. You can see some of my projects here. Here's some feedback.. I'm gonna try and be gentle:

    1. Your Kickstarter promo video.... doesn't work. The title cards make for wayyyyyy too much reading. And you don't leave them on screen long enough for them to be readable. I gave up reading that stuff after the third title card. Second, you're aiming to do a webseries.. and there's not one actual action scene in your promo.. No example of what your webseries could look like. Just endless title cards. This doesn't give *any* confidence to give you money. You've not shown me you can make a film. If I were you, I would scrap that video completely, get at least two local actors and just shoot a sample scene of your webseries (and do it competently). If you want an example of good Kickstarter promo video, look at the one called 'Xxist' on my Vimeo page link posted above.

    2. You're asking for waayyyy too much money. 45 grand? Man, most indie filmmakers can pull what you're proposing for 5 grand!! Where is all that money going? Is there a budget breakdown anywhere that you can show how you're spending the money? I doubt you'll raise 45 grand on your first time on Kickstarter. Hell, I know competent indie filmmakers who have raised just 25 grand on their third Kickstarter project.

    3. And your donation levels are all out of whack. You need 1$ and $5 levels. You need small donations because most people aren't gonna fork out $25 for this project as it sounds right now. You need to make your donation levels more realistic.

    4. Please don't say that you're seeking to get on Netflix, Hulu or Logo. This... is gonna go on Youtube, period. Unless you're an accomplished filmmaker, this is your first time out of the bat, you're not gonna hit the big time. Keep your distribution aspirations realistic.

    If I were you, I would re-shoot the Kickstarter video, tweak the donation levels, and rewrite all that stuff about getting on Netflix/Hulu/Logo.

  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Jul 10, 2013 6:51 PM GMT
    Sharpton said
    PR_GMR saidOright, Isaiah. I'm an independent filmmaker with several projects under my belt. Went to film school at the University Of Maryland. You can see some of my projects here. Here's some feedback.. I'm gonna try and be gentle:

    1. Your Kickstarter promo video.... doesn't work. The title cards make for wayyyyyy too much reading. And you don't leave them on screen long enough for them to be readable. I gave up reading that stuff after the third title card. Second, you're aiming to do a webseries.. and there's not one actual action scene in your promo.. No example of what your webseries could look like. Just endless title cards. This doesn't give *any* confidence to give you money. You've not shown me you can make a film. If I were you, I would scrap that video completely, get at least two local actors and just shoot a sample scene of your webseries (and do it competently). If you want an example of good Kickstarter promo video, look at the one called 'Xxist' on my Vimeo page link posted above.

    2. You're asking for waayyyy too much money. 45 grand? Man, most indie filmmakers can pull what you're proposing for 5 grand!! Where is all that money going? Is there a budget breakdown anywhere that you can show how you're spending the money? I doubt you'll raise 45 grand on your first time on Kickstarter. Hell, I know competent indie filmmakers who have raised just 25 grand on their third Kickstarter project.

    3. And your donation levels are all out of whack. You need 1$ and $5 levels. You need small donations because most people aren't gonna fork out $25 for this project as it sounds right now. You need to make your donation levels more realistic.

    4. Please don't say that you're seeking to get on Netflix, Hulu or Logo. This... is gonna go on Youtube, period. Unless you're an accomplished filmmaker, this is your first time out of the bat, you're not gonna hit the big time. Keep your distribution aspirations realistic.

    If I were you, I would re-shoot the Kickstarter video, tweak the donation levels, and rewrite all that stuff about getting on Netflix/Hulu/Logo.



    Should he aim for a documentary instead of a series?
    Wouldn't that be cheaper and easier to kickstart?


    Yes. Isaiah is funny...and wacked. So why not just a documentary..and make it for less than 5 grand? Get a cheap HD camera with a good mic. Have someone follow you around for a few weeks. Show us the life of a black gay atheist. Do you have any interesting friends? If so, follow them too. That would be more interesting...because if you can't script-write or direct actors, this project will likely fail.
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    Jul 10, 2013 8:19 PM GMT
    PR_GMR saidOright, Isaiah. I'm an independent filmmaker with several projects under my belt. Went to film school at the University Of Maryland. You can see some of my projects here. Here's some feedback.. I'm gonna try and be gentle:

    1. Your Kickstarter promo video.... doesn't work. The title cards make for wayyyyyy too much reading. And you don't leave them on screen long enough for them to be readable. I gave up reading that stuff after the third title card. Second, you're aiming to do a webseries.. and there's not one actual action scene in your promo.. No example of what your webseries could look like. Just endless title cards. This doesn't give *any* confidence to give you money. You've not shown me you can make a film. If I were you, I would scrap that video completely, get at least two local actors and just shoot a sample scene of your webseries (and do it competently). If you want an example of good Kickstarter promo video, look at the one called 'Xxist' on my Vimeo page link posted above.

    2. You're asking for waayyyy too much money. 45 grand? Man, most indie filmmakers can pull what you're proposing for 5 grand!! Where is all that money going? Is there a budget breakdown anywhere that you can show how you're spending the money? I doubt you'll raise 45 grand on your first time on Kickstarter. Hell, I know competent indie filmmakers who have raised just 25 grand on their third Kickstarter project.

    3. And your donation levels are all out of whack. You need 1$ and $5 levels. You need small donations because most people aren't gonna fork out $25 for this project as it sounds right now. You need to make your donation levels more realistic.

    4. Please don't say that you're seeking to get on Netflix, Hulu or Logo. This... is gonna go on Youtube, period. Unless you're an accomplished filmmaker, this is your first time out of the bat, you're not gonna hit the big time. Keep your distribution aspirations realistic.

    If I were you, I would re-shoot the Kickstarter video, tweak the donation levels, and rewrite all that stuff about getting on Netflix/Hulu/Logo.



    1. I tried doing that but I couldn't get anyone to help me do it. Also I only have a small handheld at the time. Most of the budget would go towards buying equipment. I can always make the video I have longer. Otherwise I have no other choice for a video.

    2. Kickstarter said the usual donation amount was about twenty five dollars so that's where I got my donation levels from. Also I put that amount up because I figured with as much equipment I was going to need and because of how much I would need to secure rental space for the locations I need it would be that much. Would taking it down to 15,000 or 10,000 be more realistic?

    4. That I can do. I'll change that.

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    Jul 10, 2013 8:22 PM GMT
    PR_GMR said
    Sharpton said
    PR_GMR said

    Yes. Isaiah is funny...and wacked. So why not just a documentary..and make it for less than 5 grand? Get a cheap HD camera with a good mic. Have someone follow you around for a few weeks. Show us the life of a black gay atheist. Do you have any interesting friends? If so, follow them too. That would be more interesting...because if you can't script-write or direct actors, this project will likely fail.


    What makes you assume I cant write or direct? I've done both. I don't want a documentary. That would be boring. I want to do an actual scripted sketch series. My idea for it is like the Carol Burnett Show meets the Dave Chappelle Show but it's on Youtube, lol. And because I planned on doing so many different sketches I'm going to need more than five grand.

    I could send you the first two episodes so you can see what I mean.
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    Jul 15, 2013 3:20 PM GMT
    It's live now:

    http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/7050352/the-sunshine-state
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    Jul 15, 2013 3:31 PM GMT
    EuphoricDanger said
    Slim2010 saidJust little things. There should be a comma after the word "lastly" in the fourth paragraph, little errors like that.


    Oh good! No missing words or anything like that? I ALWAYS LEAVE OUT WORDS!

    Who wants to donate?


    Here: second paragraph below the vid..

    "I started coming up with the idea for 'The Sunshine State' in January and I've been working on ideas for it ever since. I want to change the face of what it means to be gay, black and Atheist. I want to be there for those people who feel like they are shunned, ignored and left out by most other media. I don't care if I get famous, if I get money, if I get awards. I just visibility because with visibility someone else.."

    'I just visibility' is missing a word, my friend.

    I speed read - 600 WPM so I read the whole vid OK. I think you should remove 'shit' and 'fuck' from the dialogue as it doesn't work with the tone and progression of your writing style in this project.
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    Jul 15, 2013 3:36 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    EuphoricDanger said
    Slim2010 saidJust little things. There should be a comma after the word "lastly" in the fourth paragraph, little errors like that.


    Oh good! No missing words or anything like that? I ALWAYS LEAVE OUT WORDS!

    Who wants to donate?


    Here: second paragraph below the vid..

    "I started coming up with the idea for 'The Sunshine State' in January and I've been working on ideas for it ever since. I want to change the face of what it means to be gay, black and Atheist. I want to be there for those people who feel like they are shunned, ignored and left out by most other media. I don't care if I get famous, if I get money, if I get awards. I just visibility because with visibility someone else.."

    'I just visibility' is missing a word, my friend.

    I speed read - 600 WPM so I read the whole vid OK. I think you should remove 'shit' and 'fuck' from the dialogue as it doesn't work with the tone and progression of your writing style in this project.


    Thanks I just corrected that. I figured I had gotten them all.

    I didn't even realize I swore that much in it. Second nature I guess.
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    Jul 15, 2013 7:42 PM GMT
    Can you post an image of your logo? for embedding and stuff
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    Jul 19, 2013 5:09 AM GMT
    tumblr_m7eys79ilV1qaesd9.gif
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    Jul 19, 2013 5:11 AM GMT
    BlackCat90 saidtumblr_m7eys79ilV1qaesd9.gif
    Thats double of what he is asking for.
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    Jul 19, 2013 5:14 AM GMT
    Good luck with this bro ho. icon_smile.gif