Dating an (older) guy who is in a relationship? (Please Help!)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2013 9:25 PM GMT
    I don't know where I should start.
    I met this guy over a month ago at a disco, he came to me, we made out and we exchanged our phones. After that we have been seeing each other like once a week and I think I'm falling for him... he told me many pretty things and also that he wanted to stay with me, he likes me and I also like him...

    But here is the thing: I just found out today that he has a boyfriend in another city (to which he regularly goes). And I also found other things out:

    First... Well first he lied with his name! Then he lied with his age, he told me he was 28 but he is 35. Second, he lied because he told me he had no boyfriend.
    Third, he lied with his job, he said he was a cop, but he is a periodist.

    And other small lies to support the big lies already mentioned.

    He is now in the other city (better, island) with his boyfriend and he told me to meet next wednesday when he comes back. I want to wait until wednesday to talk to him to the face and let things clear but I don't know how will I be able to wait until wednesday. I feel really stupid.

    I need your opinion on this, guys. I appreciate it very much. This has never happened to me.


    Edit: We are not friends in facebook, but his facebook is public so I could read his messages ... Privacy in Facebook is really important if you want to be a lier!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2013 9:30 PM GMT
    He's somebody else's problem. Move on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2013 9:33 PM GMT
    Get out now while you still have your emotions in tact. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2013 9:35 PM GMT
    Oy. He's consistently lied to you about multiple things.

    You know what to do.
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    Jul 10, 2013 9:36 PM GMT
    He's a user. His age is immaterial to this issue. Run away.
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    Jul 10, 2013 9:39 PM GMT
    Thanks for your messages, guys. Yes I think I should let things clear and forget him but I really need to talk about this face to face...
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    Jul 10, 2013 9:45 PM GMT
    Building a relationship on lies.. It won't work JC.

    ..This gentleman is disrespectful and a player.

    What do you think will happen next Wednesday?
    Probably a new set of lies to cover up the first.

    You have to walk away from this one mate.
    Hugz.
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    Jul 10, 2013 9:47 PM GMT
    Jcsp90 saidThanks for your messages, guys. Yes I think I should let things clear and forget him but I really need to talk about this face to face...


    Really, you don't. He's not worth it. If he's kept you strung along despite all of this he's probably pretty good at it. There would be good reasons for just writing him off and not allowing him to even try to manipulate you again.
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    Jul 10, 2013 9:50 PM GMT
    Ingredients for disaster. He lied to you, even with the smallest thing about his age. He will do it again to you down the road. He has a boyfriend - what do you expect him to do, leave him for you? Then next thing you know, he cheats on you down the road with another young guy he met at another city at a bar.

    Run like hell
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    Jul 10, 2013 9:50 PM GMT
    Better to get out now than one year later when you are more emotionally, physically and may be even financially invested. The fact that this relationship is only one month old and already getting crazy is never a good sign. You don't want to look later in life and say - "oh I was a fool, I always knew it"
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    Jul 10, 2013 9:51 PM GMT
    Sounds like he's just using you for sex, so don't get involved.

    Why would you want to get involved with someone who is a pathological liar? Especially considering he has a current BF!
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    Jul 10, 2013 9:56 PM GMT
    Let me get this straight....

    • He lied about having a boyfriend
    • He lied about his name
    • He lied about his occupation
    • Plus many "small" lies (whatever that is) to support his "big" lies

    What was your question again? icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 10, 2013 9:58 PM GMT
    Sounds like a keeper... icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jul 10, 2013 10:39 PM GMT
    ART_DECO saidHe's a user. His age is immaterial to this issue. Run away.


    Some people will never get mature, I guess..
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    Jul 10, 2013 10:42 PM GMT
    His new messages:

    "I landed right, babeee
    Im going to sleep because im dead but cheered up because I have seen you"


    Probably while he is sleeping with his bf right now (It's midnight in Europe)

    I think I won't reply to that
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    Jul 10, 2013 10:45 PM GMT
    35 is older? I'm 20 years older than older? I don't like this thread. The guy sounds horrible. I think you should keep dating him.
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    Jul 10, 2013 10:48 PM GMT
    theantijock said35 is older? I'm 20 years older than older? I don't like this thread. The guy sounds horrible. I think you should keep dating him.


    35 is older than 23, yes
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    Jul 10, 2013 11:00 PM GMT
    Jcsp90 saidHis new messages:

    "I landed right, babeee
    Im going to sleep because im dead but cheered up because I have seen you"


    Probably while he is sleeping with his bf right now (It's midnight in Europe)

    I think I won't reply to that


    He's trouble.
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    Jul 10, 2013 11:04 PM GMT
    Thank you guys for the responses, I think I just needed to read different opinions to better see the reality...
    Although I knew the reality, and I see it perfectly clear.. but my heart didn't want to believe it. Fucking heart !!!
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    Jul 10, 2013 11:30 PM GMT
    theantijock said35 is older? I'm 20 years older than older? I don't like this thread. The guy sounds horrible. I think you should keep dating him.


    Bitter...Party of One...Your table is ready. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 11, 2013 12:55 AM GMT
    no spring chicken said
    Bitter...Party of One...Your table is ready. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 11, 2013 12:57 AM GMT
    theantijock said
    no spring chicken said
    Bitter...Party of One...Your table is ready. icon_wink.gif


    Ain't it been at least an hour since you measured yer bamboo?
    HURRY! icon_eek.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jul 11, 2013 1:14 AM GMT
    Jcsp90 saidI don't know where I should start.
    I met this guy over a month ago at a disco, he came to me, we made out and we exchanged our phones. After that we have been seeing each other like once a week and I think I'm falling for him... he told me many pretty things and also that he wanted to stay with me, he likes me and I also like him...

    But here is the thing: I just found out today that he has a boyfriend in another city (to which he regularly goes). And I also found other things out:

    First... Well first he lied with his name! Then he lied with his age, he told me he was 28 but he is 35. Second, he lied because he told me he had no boyfriend.
    Third, he lied with his job, he said he was a cop, but he is a periodist.

    And other small lies to support the big lies already mentioned.

    He is now in the other city (better, island) with his boyfriend and he told me to meet next wednesday when he comes back. I want to wait until wednesday to talk to him to the face and let things clear but I don't know how will I be able to wait until wednesday. I feel really stupid.

    I need your opinion on this, guys. I appreciate it very much. This has never happened to me.


    Edit: We are not friends in facebook, but his facebook is public so I could read his messages ... Privacy in Facebook is really important if you want to be a lier!


    3 lies - 3 strikes, he's out
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    Jul 11, 2013 1:15 AM GMT
    turbobilly said
    theantijock said
    no spring chicken said
    Bitter...Party of One...Your table is ready. icon_wink.gif


    Ain't it been at least an hour since you measured yer bamboo?
    HURRY! icon_eek.gif


    That's so mean! I had a feeling you were jealous of my bamboo but I never thought you'd stoop this low.
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    Jul 11, 2013 1:29 AM GMT
    Ummm....exactly what opinion do you need? If you don't realize that everything about this guy is a huge ass red flag then I'm very worried about your ability to make rational decisions lol.

    FORGET HIM. MOVE ON. That's not an opinion, that's an order! icon_wink.gif