Not getting any

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 12, 2013 2:07 PM GMT
    hi guys I could really use some advice. my husband and I have been going through a dry spell for the last 5 months. I think part of the problem was that we both games a lot of weight and having some self confidence issues. I started going to the gym and losing inches and pounds and feeling great. however we're still not having sex I have an extremely high testosterone level my husband is on the low end. I don't know if it's just not fun for him anymore I don't know if its not hot for him whenever I try to initiate he either says no he's too tired or I'm not in the mood at that point because let's face it you don't need something that you're not getting on the regular so. don't need sex I guess but I really really really want it bad. don't know what to do. what can I do what can I not do to keep myself in the mood and what can I be going to get my husband interested in me again truth be told I'm not quite sure he would know what to do even if the opportunity presented icon_redface.gif
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    Jul 12, 2013 6:27 PM GMT
    Have you tried talking to him frankly but respectfully about this? Kinda sounds like the first step to me. Communication is key.
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    Jul 12, 2013 6:32 PM GMT
    tenant-screening-red-flags.jpg
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    Jul 13, 2013 3:34 AM GMT
    I speak from experience. Talk frankly to him about it. Get couples counseling. If it's clear that he will not change, consider ending the relationship.
  • FreakTheBeat

    Posts: 151

    Jul 13, 2013 3:38 AM GMT
    unfortunately ive had to deal with this in relationships. I was the one with the high sex drive and then they kinda just slumped. i went straight forward and let them know but it never really changed. they made it seem like it was a chore.
    relationship ended. but your case could be different...
  • spacemagic

    Posts: 520

    Jul 14, 2013 7:56 PM GMT
    duluthrunner saidI speak from experience. Talk frankly to him about it. Get couples counseling. If it's clear that he will not change, consider ending the relationship.


    +1
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3529

    Jul 15, 2013 5:50 AM GMT
    if there is no health problems, and you are not getting sex, he isnt doing his job. As the significant other, it is your job to make the partner orgasm regularly, or give him permission to not complain when he finds someone to do your job for him. That is just the way it is. Do your job or it will be outsourced.

    Have a talk, set up a schedule, if he can't keep to it, find someone who can. Life is too short for people to be not interested in you and claiming to be your signifcant other. Giving a blowjob or hand job at the very least comes with the job description, if you can't even manage that, you are not qualified for the job. Fire him.
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    Jul 18, 2013 12:09 PM GMT
    thanks guys I really appreciate all your help and input. how should I tell him what should I say I've never had to deal with something like this befor again I appreciate all your help in all your support I could really use some friends right now so thank you.how should I say it? Xoxox
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3529

    Jul 19, 2013 3:02 AM GMT
    Hi. I like being your boyfriend but i need to get laid regularly. Lets chat and discuss why that isnt happening and if you are having problems i need to know so i can either make other arrangements or we can work it out...because the status quo is no longer acceptable.

    Be blunt.
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    Jul 19, 2013 3:14 AM GMT
    src123 saidhi guys I could really use some advice. my husband and I have been going through a dry spell for the last 5 months. I think part of the problem was that we both games a lot of weight and having some self confidence issues. I started going to the gym and losing inches and pounds and feeling great. however we're still not having sex I have an extremely high testosterone level my husband is on the low end. I don't know if it's just not fun for him anymore I don't know if its not hot for him whenever I try to initiate he either says no he's too tired or I'm not in the mood at that point because let's face it you don't need something that you're not getting on the regular so. don't need sex I guess but I really really really want it bad. don't know what to do. what can I do what can I not do to keep myself in the mood and what can I be going to get my husband interested in me again truth be told I'm not quite sure he would know what to do even if the opportunity presented icon_redface.gif


    Does your sex always involve....the behind? Cause I don't think everyone wants to do it every time or every week.
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    Jul 19, 2013 3:29 AM GMT
    'the behind'.... WTF!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 19, 2013 3:31 AM GMT
    hairyandym said'the behind'.... WTF!


    I didn't want to be explicit icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 19, 2013 12:01 PM GMT
    Lol its ok icon_biggrin.gif

    And id take anything at this point...sex is not always from the back. Some time we would do other things but 0 lately ..last night i tryd to give him a bj but he rolld over and went to sleep.in his defence we did have a btl of wine ...i dono
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 19, 2013 5:19 PM GMT
    src123 saidLol its ok icon_biggrin.gif

    And id take anything at this point...sex is not always from the back. Some time we would do other things but 0 lately ..last night i tryd to give him a bj but he rolld over and went to sleep.in his defence we did have a btl of wine ...i dono


    Perhaps he is not telling you about something. Is he on medications or anything that affects the way he think about things. People don't just stop feeling turn on without a reason. If he at least do it with you 1-2 times a week in the last 5 months then it doesn't sound so bad.