Advice...or something...

  • tailgaytor

    Posts: 41

    Nov 07, 2008 3:25 PM GMT
    I have seen a particular guy a few times, chatted with him on the phone and exchanged e-mails. When I suggested last night that we meet for cocktails tonight, he said Fridays weren't very good because he had to pick up the dog. I paused and several posibilities floated through my brain before I said, "oh." He went on to say that his first ex and he had joint custody of the dog. Your reaction is much appreciated.
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Nov 07, 2008 3:28 PM GMT
    Sounds like a nice guy. He likes dogs, so that makes him a nice guy, right?
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    Nov 07, 2008 3:34 PM GMT

    You've struck gold! Here's a door, easily opened, if you desire this guy with what's beating in your chest, tell him you'd love to meet the dog. Do you love animals?
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    Nov 07, 2008 3:43 PM GMT
    My ex has primary custody of our dogs. It's a long story not worth going into. However, if I'm going to get the dogs for the weekend, that would come first for me. I wouldn't presume that someone would want a first date with me sitting at my house while I spend time playing with my dogs. It doesn't make for a very good first date.
    I have to agree with meninlove though, the mere fact that this guy cares for his dog this way is a fine quality in a man.
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    Nov 07, 2008 3:50 PM GMT


    thanks bgcat57!

    In my case, that's exactly how we spent our first date! We went from the bar to Bill's place, as he had declined an after hours coffe/snack as 'Willis' was at home alone. We drove all across town to a very unfamiliar neighbourhood, me idly wondering if I was riding with an axe-murderer, and spent the night ( no S-E-X) talking while playing with his little terrier. Tell the truth, seeing him love that dog reassured me in an interesting way. Him seeing me love that puppy reassured him too.
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    Nov 07, 2008 7:06 PM GMT
    Yeah, well, I agree, with meninlove, especially if you like dogs and remember, animals can usually tell, so it will not be any good to try and fake it. This sounds like a good way to really get to know the guy and if he will not invite you over, suggest a walk in the park, but, take a doggie bag.icon_wink.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Nov 07, 2008 7:10 PM GMT
    Respond back - you're right, it's probably too soon for me to meet the dogs. icon_wink.gif
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    Nov 07, 2008 7:11 PM GMT
    I've been through plenty of these situations. Just make sure that the feeling of attraction is fully mutual. Not only because he may be using the dog as an excuse to avoid a date with you but because he may be attracted to you but the dog is actually the real love of his life above all else.

    Gays and their fucking pets. Man.
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    Nov 07, 2008 7:39 PM GMT
    CitizenSol said

    Gays and their fucking pets. Man.


    lol, are you for real ? If you take responsibility for an animal you better own up to it. It is called integrity. You do not even know this guy, this does not mean he puts animals ahead of humans, just that he is taking care of business and if he actually cares for another being that is a quality I'd take over ten fold than seeing him not care.



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    Nov 07, 2008 8:45 PM GMT
    Librarian said
    CitizenSol said

    Gays and their fucking pets. Man.


    lol, are you for real ? If you take responsibility for an animal you better own up to it. It is called integrity. You do not even know this guy, this does not mean he puts animals ahead of humans, just that he is taking care of business and if he actually cares for another being that is a quality I'd take over ten fold than seeing him not care.





    Well I was kind of kidding. Kind of, because I've been in plenty of situations where the guy chooses his pet over me. I'm all about taking care of animals. I love animals and, as anyone who knows me will tell you, most animals take an abnormally quick liking to me. But if I had a choice between a date and picking up a dog from the sitter, I'd immediately think "we'll all go out for a walk in the park" or "if this guy and I get closer, he's gonna have to meet Lil Queen Latifa someday, so I'll just invite him over".

    It just sounds like either an excuse for something that could be as small as "I don't feel like doing anything friday" to "I'm actually meeting another guy that day". And if its "my dog comes first and foremost and she only likes to be around me so when we have time, no one can be around us", then I think we have a problem.
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    Nov 07, 2008 9:07 PM GMT
    okay maybe some take it a step to far, I am merely pointing out you can't assume much here on what is been told. It just might as innocent that he is picking up the dog on Fridays since his ex has stuff to take care of on that day and he does not want to drag his dog into a cocktail bar, and does not want to leave his ex hanging. Or he might dress up in a pink dungeon dress and torture people for money..who knows ..no one..that is why against my better judgement I should have stayed out of a gimme advice thread icon_razz.gif
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    Nov 07, 2008 10:18 PM GMT
    Librarian saidokay maybe some take it a step to far, I am merely pointing out you can't assume much here on what is been told. It just might as innocent that he is picking up the dog on Fridays since his ex has stuff to take care of on that day and he does not want to drag his dog into a cocktail bar, and does not want to leave his ex hanging. Or he might dress up in a pink dungeon dress and torture people for money..who knows ..no one..that is why against my better judgement I should have stayed out of a gimme advice thread icon_razz.gif


    Personally I think your only mistake was picking a fight with me. I'm the most bull-headed person on earth...lol. I try to tone it down but sometimes it just gets the best of me. icon_smile.gif
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    Nov 07, 2008 11:05 PM GMT
    Well, I'm not a real big pet lover and when I first read this I thought, WHAT? Pick up a dog instead of going on a date? But after reading your replies and knowing how passionate owner are for their pets, I'd recommend that, if you don't mind the dog, you take the advice to let him know that you'd love to meet the four legged creature and his owner icon_smile.gif

    And if you're like me, not a real dog lover, that dog will be all over you when you meet the guy. No matter where I go, those damn dogs know I don't want to be bothered and they are ALL OVER me!

    Before you bash me, I have friends with some very nice and cute dogs that I get alone with very well. One of my best friends has a doberman that goes crazy when I visit and I'm the only one (according to my friend) that he does this with. Go figure.
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    Nov 08, 2008 12:01 AM GMT
    Haha, my dogs would never treat me the way gay guys have. If there was ever an ultimatum brought up the guy's out.

    At least he doesn't have joint custody of an adolescent or something
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    Nov 08, 2008 1:43 AM GMT

    Hmmm, how about this:

    guy 1: Can't do the drinks tonight, am picking up the car I share with the ex. Convertible Aston Martin (141,000.00)

    Guy2: Wow, that's a CAR- your turn this weekend? I'd love to see it.

    (What guy 1 was hoping to hear.)

    Seems to us that taking an interest in something you so easily found out your romantic interest likes is a great ice breaker, handed to you on a plate!

    ....a month later,

    Guy1 : hey! I'm heading out to Rocky Pass tonight for a swim in the bay, how about it?
    Guy2: sorry, I can't. Have to pick up my cat from shots and claw clipping. She's been in the Vet's crate since 8am.
    Guy1: probably completely scared, huh? And misses her big daddy, too. Does she like company?
    (Guy2 happy that guy1 loves cars and recognises guy2 loves cats in the same way and sees an opportunity.... )

    ...the arithmetic is easy, friends...
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    Nov 08, 2008 2:04 AM GMT
    Gay men and their pets, eh?

    Well, lemme tell ya, my dogs don't judge my friends, they don't need to shop, and they are always excited to see me.

    The hell with men, I'll stick with the pups.
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    Nov 08, 2008 2:11 AM GMT
    What came after the dog pick-up excuse? Did he mention another time? If he didn't, then he's not ready to meet.
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    Nov 08, 2008 2:33 AM GMT


    tailgator said, "I paused and several posibilities floated through my brain before I said, "oh." He went on to say that his first ex and he had joint custody of the dog..."


    ....so you said...?
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    Nov 08, 2008 2:44 AM GMT
    Time to move on. If there was a sincere interest, there would be an effort to accommodate both "the dog" and you. Take it as a hint of things to come.
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    Nov 08, 2008 5:59 AM GMT
    Hmmm.....I would surmise that something struck you as a bit off and that's why you've posted here. What set off a little alarm for you? Sure, it's great he loves dogs and all but it sounded like there was a yawning chasm of silence after the dog excuse. If the guy wanted to meet he would have followed up with an alternate date. And maybe I'm just a burnt out old cynic but in my experience most guys would skip their granny's 100th birthday if they thought they stood a chance of nabbing some hot tail(gaytor).

    I do hope I'm wrong (I really do) but don't keep us in suspense.

    Wha'ppened???
  • tailgaytor

    Posts: 41

    Nov 08, 2008 4:10 PM GMT
    The dog wasn't an excuse, and I left the option for him to call this weekend to do something.

    What ran through my mind when I pasued in the conversation was "Oh, you have shared custody of your dog with your ex?" I thought that was odd, but maybe I am the odd one for thinking that's odd. icon_smile.gif