Went to my first gay bar last night :)

  • fredjim99

    Posts: 9

    Jul 14, 2013 6:39 PM GMT
    Hi all,

    So I've been on this site for a while but only read people's posts which has massively helped me comes to terms with being gay, stopping myself being in complete denial and realising that this isn't a choice. I eventually told a friend back in Feb and another friend a few weeks ago. Since then it's still been tough as I haven't really changed much and was still in denial quite a lot.

    Anyway, the first friend I told suggested I went up to see her (she live over 200 miles away) this weekend and go out to some gay bars up there as I don't know anyone else up there it wouldn't be a risk of bumping into someone and we could just see what it was like. So eventually I agreed and went up yesterday (I was pretty worried about it beforehand tbh). She invited a couple of other girls alone for support who she told I was gay (with my permission). The first place we went to was OK but full of older gay guys and a lot of quite in your face kind of gay guys which I didn't like. But then we went onto a few other places and ended up in this club which to be honest you wouldn't have guessed was gay unless you knew. There were loads of really hot guys in there and mostly just 'normal' I guess (sounds bad I know). Was a real eye opener but in a good way. It was great to see just normal guys who happened to be gay having a good time. Quite of few of them I fancied tbh and would have loved to approached. I even got hit on (in a nice way) by a couple of guys one of whom was really cute. I was a bit too scared though and so nothing happened lol.

    Anyway it was amazing - I could really now imagine actually dating a guy and to be able to be myself for a weekend was so liberating. The girls were pointing out hot guys to me all night and we were discussing who was hot etc. So much fun and really want to go again. Still a long way to go in terms of telling people (my parents will be the biggest challenge) but I feel like I have taken a massive step forward in truly accepting who I am and realising being gay doesn't mean you have change who you are or fit into a stereotype.

    Anyway - thanks to all the great guys on here who have indirectly helped me start to accept myself and start actually living my life. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 14, 2013 7:23 PM GMT
    fredjim99 saidHi all,

    So I've been on this site for a while but only read people's posts which has massively helped me comes to terms with being gay, stopping myself being in complete denial and realising that this isn't a choice. I eventually told a friend back in Feb and another friend a few weeks ago. Since then it's still been tough as I haven't really changed much and was still in denial quite a lot.

    Anyway, the first friend I told suggested I went up to see her (she live over 200 miles away) this weekend and go out to some gay bars up there as I don't know anyone else up there it wouldn't be a risk of bumping into someone and we could just see what it was like. So eventually I agreed and went up yesterday (I was pretty worried about it beforehand tbh). She invited a couple of other girls alone for support who she told I was gay (with my permission). The first place we went to was OK but full of older gay guys and a lot of quite in your face kind of gay guys which I didn't like. But then we went onto a few other places and ended up in this club which to be honest you wouldn't have guessed was gay unless you knew. There were loads of really hot guys in there and mostly just 'normal' I guess (sounds bad I know). Was a real eye opener but in a good way. It was great to see just normal guys who happened to be gay having a good time. Quite of few of them I fancied tbh and would have loved to approached. I even got hit on (in a nice way) by a couple of guys one of whom was really cute. I was a bit too scared though and so nothing happened lol.

    Anyway it was amazing - I could really now imagine actually dating a guy and to be able to be myself for a weekend was so liberating. The girls were pointing out hot guys to me all night and we were discussing who was hot etc. So much fun and really want to go again. Still a long way to go in terms of telling people (my parents will be the biggest challenge) but I feel like I have taken a massive step forward in truly accepting who I am and realising being gay doesn't mean you have change who you are or fit into a stereotype.

    Anyway - thanks to all the great guys on here who have indirectly helped me start to accept myself and start actually living my life. icon_smile.gif


    Wow sounds cool.. I wanna go to one one day too icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2013 3:37 AM GMT
    Oh yeah, once you find a place you like in the gay scene and especially friends like them to go with you, it's only a matter of time!

    Same thing happened to me, once I went into the scene and realized how well I could see myself there, I knew there was no avoiding it. It's a lot of fun if you're into the whole bar/club atmosphere, which not all gays are, so enjoy it!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2013 3:41 AM GMT
    Enjoy yourself, smile, meet people. This can be the beginning of amazing!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 15, 2013 3:45 AM GMT
    It is quite an experience; your first time, especially the right place--"Oh my fucking god...no way all these guys are gay".
    Lost count of the number of guys that had never been, said they would never, than totally lost there shit once inside.

    One step at a time...
  • mitshoo

    Posts: 76

    Jul 15, 2013 4:02 AM GMT
    Cool! And congratulations! Welcome to the club! Ha, maybe literally!
  • fredjim99

    Posts: 9

    Jul 15, 2013 5:54 PM GMT
    Thanks guys.

    dustin_K_tx saidIt is quite an experience; your first time, especially the right place--"Oh my fucking god...no way all these guys are gay".


    This is SO true! There were some really cute guys in there who I could have sworn were straight but they weren't. Really eye opening.

    I've never massively been into the whole clubbing thing and thought I was getting a bit old for it all but I honestly had such a great time I really want to go back. Not sure when it will happen but hopefully some point soon. I might even build up the confidence to actually chat to some guys next time icon_smile.gif.