Is anyone besides myself, wondering why all the nice ones NEVER where your located????

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2007 9:06 PM GMT
    Grant it all places have their nutballs, but I think I might have to relocate. Any ideas?????
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    Sep 11, 2007 9:39 PM GMT
    Goodluck with that... I thought I had the market cornered on gross consumption by weight of nutbags. You mean there are worse places than Philly?
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    Sep 11, 2007 9:39 PM GMT
    Goodluck with that... I thought I had the market cornered on gross consumption by weight of nutbags. You mean there are worse places than Philly?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2007 9:45 PM GMT
    No great mystery there. I'm located out in the boonies, where nobody passes by except the coyotes, some turkeys, and the odd lost deer.
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    Sep 11, 2007 9:55 PM GMT
    I am the cat who walks by himself and all places are alike to me.
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    Sep 11, 2007 10:22 PM GMT
    Atlanta is worse Avalon....trust me...
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    Sep 11, 2007 10:23 PM GMT
    RELOCATE!
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    Sep 11, 2007 10:49 PM GMT
    I think it must be a matter of the grass seeming greener...
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    Sep 12, 2007 12:13 AM GMT
    Every place has its drawbacks but bigger and growing places have lots more dating opportunities than smaller, declining places. It's not because the grass is greener elsewhere. A diverse big metro area offers tons of ways for you to live your life in different social circles, different lifestyles from urban to semi-rural. There are tons of ways you could meet other people that share your interests. A big metro area is also more likely to offer good career opportunities, but this depends on what your line of work is. Of course a support network will be lacking initially after you relocate, so you'll do better if you're naturally good at making new friends and adjusting to new ways of doing things.

    I lived in central Illinois during my college years and wasn't exposed much to a big city like Chicago. When I moved to San Francisco Bay Area for grad school it was quite a cultural shock and I had a hard time adjusting socially; I could say that I was too boring for the average people here so they were too busy for me. After living here for nearly 2 decades I wouldn't dream of living anywhere else, its diversity, opportunities, and quality of life is top-notch in the whole world.
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    Sep 12, 2007 2:20 AM GMT
    My only complaint with this site.... Guys may as well be on Mars... oh well... eye candy is nice anyway
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    Sep 12, 2007 2:56 AM GMT
    No, because I know I'm located in the asshole of the world. No one would choose to live here.
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    Sep 12, 2007 4:10 AM GMT
    Grass is always greener on the otherside, and you want what you cant have.

    Online people show what they want so it seems like these great people live in other places. Dig deeper and you will find that they arnt as great as they make themselves out to be.
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    Sep 12, 2007 4:44 AM GMT
    Ditto. I have a bunch of friends who have criss-crossed the country dating the "perfect men" they have met online. They always turn out to be just like everyone else. I don't know if it's misrepresentation or projection -- probably both.
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    Sep 12, 2007 4:50 AM GMT
    Lord, thank you, for all the travelling I've done and for finding out that there is grass no matter where I live, and if I look for just the right spot, it is just as green.
    Thanks, too, for making me a sucker for foreign accents and providing me with 'itchy feet'.

    Ah, men.
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    Sep 12, 2007 4:51 AM GMT
    Yeah, they are all in TN, TX, or Canada ect..

    Everywhere but my state it feels like :(
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    Sep 12, 2007 4:53 AM GMT
    Plus, there are many many more guys out there than the ones you find on the internet. Don't waste too much time chasing too many rabbits, or else you will never catch one.
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    Sep 12, 2007 5:28 AM GMT
    I agree with Nickster. The grass is always greener. Plenty of good men in LA and Pittsburgh. But its like needles in a haystack.
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    Sep 12, 2007 6:10 AM GMT
    Living in a big city in London is great because you can meet lots of amazing men in all sort of different, er, 'scenarios'. The only problem being that a lot of them think something better is just round the corner.

    And with the internet, I've found that a lot of guys are just window shopping and never have any intention of meeting up with you.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Sep 12, 2007 11:09 AM GMT
    Yeah...there's always the one you want that's so far away
    It's the way of the gay online world I'm afraid
    but if you're in or anywhere near a big metro area there's plenty t go 'round
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Sep 12, 2007 12:28 PM GMT
    The last time I dated and sleep with a Western guys is 18 years ago. All the bf I have after that are fellow asian. Lately I have some curiosity about it. It must be nice to dated or even sleep with this white/black men like I use to do when I was in college. I'll be going to Australia next month. Who know who I be meeting or what kinda adventure waiting me there.
  • Squarejaw

    Posts: 1035

    Sep 12, 2007 4:47 PM GMT
    Three factors:

    1. There will always be more people in the rest of the world than in the city you call home, so if you find a good guy on a national board, he's more likely to live elsewhere.

    2. It can be easier to romanticize somebody who lives far away because you don't have to deal with his day-to-day genuine personality; you can maintain a fantasy image of who he is.

    3. Fakes and frauds with great profiles like to try to strike up long-distance conversations; it's easier to keep up the pretense.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 12, 2007 5:05 PM GMT
    I agree with the responses above, particularly Squarejaw's and OW's.

    With respect to RealJock, the guys on here have already self-selected themselves to be at least attractive to one another because of common interest. In addition, our common interest, physical fitness, usually leads to bodies/guys who are attractive. So it's easy to find "friends" here.

    I agree that it's not logical that any one area has a disproportionate number of great guys. They are all over (but most are taken, sigh!!! :-) ).

    I am sure that right in my backyard there are guys like the guys I have struck up friendships here on RJ scattered across the country. However, there's no venue to meet them so easily...as is the case with this website.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Sep 12, 2007 5:07 PM GMT
    NYC has nutballs, but still a great city and fairly easy to meet men. I think common interest groups work better than bars,clubs and the internet. I heard a funny stement- "even satan can be good on the first few dates." It is important no matter where you live to try and quickly week out the liars, losers, fakes, wanna b's, trolls and the rest of the undesirables. In my opinion, there are so many people here there is someone for everyone! How you act has a direct effect on who you attract! Good Luck>
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 12, 2007 5:49 PM GMT
    Grass is especially green when you look at it online, probably photoshopped!

    Online quality can be faked, we're talking about real guys you meet face to face. There are no doubt more quality guys in bigger metro areas. There are also more nutballs, and more people who don't want to commit because of all the temptations. The question is whether you have the awareness that gets pass all the nutballs, the shoppers, the voyeurs, ... etc. and do what it takes to be around quality guys. You do need to not limit yourself to the immediate neighborhood in the big metro area you move to, sometimes whole neighborhoods are populated exclusively by certain personalities. You may have to take the metro or drive for 20-30 miles to meet up with someone. But as GOJock and Mikemikemike said, there's plenty to go around.
  • BlackJock79

    Posts: 437

    Sep 12, 2007 7:09 PM GMT
    I had a GREAT time in NYC. Lots of men to choose from and 75% were extremely hot. Now I could be exaggerating because it was my first time being out in gay clubs with my gay friends that lived up there so I was pretty damn mesmerized by all the pretty boys... I bet if I lived up there it would get old eventually, but I had the time of my life, I had some hot guys flirt with me, buy me drinks, and I even went home with this HOT bartender... ahhhhhh, NYC. How I miss thee. And it's only a 7.5 hour drive from where I'm at now in NC! :-)