Is a bisexual person who marries someone of the opposite sex still a part of the LGBT community?

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    Jul 17, 2013 1:21 PM GMT
    There's a bisexual girl on our GSA who is with a guy and this question came up. If she married that guy would she still be considered a part of the LGBT community. I said yes but only in the way someone is considered family after they divorce someone but still come to the reunions. There's not much we can do for you I told her. I said I think when people talk about reaching out to bisexuals they mean the ones repressing their gay sexual attractions and the ones more likely to act in it. I mean she would still be bisexual no doubting that but it's not like we would be fighting for her. Or at least that is my janky little opinion.

    What do you guys think?
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    Jul 17, 2013 1:34 PM GMT
    Aren't we a community based on "inclusion" rather than "exclusion"?

    Nobody is free, until we all are free.
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    Jul 17, 2013 1:44 PM GMT
    If she still wanted to be a member of the Lgbt family, I'd welcome her with open arms. Can't have to many friends and family.
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    Jul 17, 2013 2:03 PM GMT
    Mavourneen29 said
    bhp91126 saidIf she still wanted to be a member of the Lgbt family, I'd welcome her with open arms. Can't have to many friends and family.

    I agree with this.
    If she chooses to be a part of the LGBT family, then she is a part of it, irrespective of whom she marries.


    I see what you mean but I feel different. I feel like you'd be an ally but not one of us. You no longer have to go through the same societal and legal hassles we do.
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    Jul 17, 2013 2:08 PM GMT
    TransparentUnity said

    I see what you mean but I feel different. I feel like you'd be an ally but not one of us. You no longer have to go through the same societal and legal hassles we do.

    Why are you trying to create difference and separation? Don't you think that is counterproductive to creating a community?
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    Jul 17, 2013 2:09 PM GMT
    If a woman, straight or lesbian, transgenders to male and marries a woman is she still part of the community?

    We don't represent ourselves with a rainbow for nuthin!
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    Jul 17, 2013 2:10 PM GMT
    This is a divisive issue in the lesbian community, where there are far more women who openly identify as bi and end up married to a guy than we have in the world of gay men.

    Myself? Anyone on our side is fine by me. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 17, 2013 2:10 PM GMT
    She may not have the same exact problems we have, but I'm sure she has her own.

    While I agree that there are some experiences that cannot be fully understood without having known them first hand, I don't think it is impossible for people to relate to them on some level.

    I don't think segregating people ever works in the best interests of society. If someone wants to be part of the club, welcome them.



    TransparentUnity said
    Mavourneen29 said
    bhp91126 saidIf she still wanted to be a member of the Lgbt family, I'd welcome her with open arms. Can't have to many friends and family.

    I agree with this.
    If she chooses to be a part of the LGBT family, then she is a part of it, irrespective of whom she marries.


    I see what you mean but I feel different. I feel like you'd be an ally but not one of us. You no longer have to go through the same societal and legal hassles we do.
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    Jul 17, 2013 2:14 PM GMT
    lol - the "gay commmunity"'s not some kind of exclusive subscription-based members club.

    If you wanna hang with the gayboys, hang with the gayboys.
  • AMoonHawk

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    Jul 17, 2013 2:14 PM GMT
    I would say that she is part of the LBTG community in the same way that PFLAG is part of the BLGT community
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    Jul 17, 2013 2:19 PM GMT
    showme saidThis is a divisive issue in the lesbian community, where there are far more women who openly identify as bi and end up married to a guy than we have in the world of gay men.

    Myself? Anyone on our side is fine by me. icon_biggrin.gif


    Yeah I see that happen a lot so I can understand why many lesbians snub her. I don't have any animosity but probably because it's a woman. With men who do it I take it more personally

    I don't really understand male bisexuality
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    Jul 17, 2013 4:17 PM GMT
    I agree with everyone above. I mean, the "B" in LGBT is for Bisexuals, right? Why exclude them because they're dating someone who isn't a member of the same sex?

    Another question: Channing Tatum is "Bi", but married to a woman. Do you consider him part of our community?
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    Jul 17, 2013 4:20 PM GMT
    bhp91126 said
    TransparentUnity said

    I see what you mean but I feel different. I feel like you'd be an ally but not one of us. You no longer have to go through the same societal and legal hassles we do.

    Why are you trying to create difference and separation? Don't you think that is counterproductive to creating a community?


    I think that person would appear to be conforming to a straight relationship, and would not have to go through the same struggles. However, this does not change her sexuality just because she married a man. She will still be attracted to females as well as males. I would include her as part of the B in LGBT. But then, I'm not all that in favour of labelling so I agree with bhp that we are all part of this community. icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 17, 2013 4:21 PM GMT
    bhp91126 saidIf she still wanted to be a member of the Lgbt family, I'd welcome her with open arms. Can't have to many friends and family.


    +1icon_wink.gif
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    Jul 17, 2013 4:34 PM GMT
    Slim2010 saidI agree with everyone above. I mean, the "B" in LGBT is for Bisexuals, right? Why exclude them because they're dating someone who isn't a member of the same sex?

    Another question: Channing Tatum is "Bi", but married to a woman. Do you consider him part of our community?


    No. He's married to a woman. To me there's nothing we can really give people like him. In the eyes of the world people like that are living the straight life. it disturbs me that someone can be bisexual, marry someone of the opposite gender and then still claim to be a part of us. It's almost like 'oh I had my fun with the fags but I'm gonna avoid all the drama that comes with being one but still piggy back off of their progress'
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    Jul 17, 2013 4:37 PM GMT
    Well in my book my BF, who is married to a woman, is certainly a part of the LGBT community as evidenced by the rockin' great gay sex we had this morning, and as far as I'm concerned it's only my opinion and his that counts.

    When I was married, also to a woman, I didn't consider myself part of the LGBT community. Now that I'm living as an openly gay man I do.

    P.S. I think they are waiting for their 10 yr anniversary to pass before they divorce. They want to throw themselves a party. icon_lol.gif
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    Jul 17, 2013 4:39 PM GMT
    gayinterest saidlol - the "gay commmunity"'s not some kind of exclusive subscription-based members club.

    If you wanna hang with the gayboys, hang with the gayboys.



    WHAT!? Then who's been cashing my monthly dues check?!
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    Jul 17, 2013 4:44 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidWell in my book my BF, who is married to a woman, is certainly a part of the LGBT community as evidenced by the rockin' great gay sex we had this morning, and as far as I'm concerned it's only my opinion and his that counts.

    When I was married, also to a woman, I didn't consider myself part of the LGBT community. Now that I'm living as an openly gay man I do.

    P.S. I think they are waiting for their 10 yr anniversary to pass before they divorce. They want to throw themselves a party. icon_lol.gif


    Well your situation is a but different. I doubt most of the bisexuals who marry opposite gender spouses are going to be having affairs with people of the same gender on the side. Assuming they stay with monogamous opposite gender spouses I don't really see them as one of us. I'm not saying their sexuality has changed but I'm saying that they might as well be straight because they don't have anything to do with us. What can we offer them? Social acceptance? They've already got it by being in a straight relationship. Is this going to be the fashionable thing to do now? Be with a straight partner but still claim you're part of us? Like having the best if both worlds right? This is why I don't trust bisexual men in relationships. Don't dislike them as people.
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    Jul 17, 2013 4:48 PM GMT
    i dnt understand what is the big deal, she did say she was bisexual!!!!where is the confusion. So she happen to fall inlove with the opposite sex, that doesnt make her any less of a LGBT family.
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    Jul 17, 2013 4:58 PM GMT
    SKM2 saidi dnt understand what is the big deal, she did say she was bisexual!!!!where is the confusion. So she happen to fall inlove with the opposite sex, that doesnt make her any less of a LGBT family.


    I think it's that they don't have to go through what the rest of us have to go through. They had an out
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    Jul 17, 2013 5:02 PM GMT
    Yes, I would still include her because she is bisexual. She is a person. Her coupling with another person does not negate her individual humanity. We would, indeed, still be fighting for her rights as a bisexual regardless of her marital status.

    I also include our allies in our community. Straight people who support and ally themselves with us should be welcomed into the community as well. Sure, they may not have experienced discrimination in the same way we have, but it is because they chose to ally themselves with us that we have made so much progress. They risked rejection from friends and family to do so, and they deserve to be adopted members of our community.
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    Jul 17, 2013 5:04 PM GMT
    GAMRican saidAren't we a community based on "inclusion" rather than "exclusion"?

    Nobody is free, until we all are free.


    Not all that often that I agree with you, but I do on the above.
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    Jul 17, 2013 5:06 PM GMT
    TransparentUnity said
    UndercoverMan saidWell in my book my BF, who is married to a woman, is certainly a part of the LGBT community as evidenced by the rockin' great gay sex we had this morning, and as far as I'm concerned it's only my opinion and his that counts.

    When I was married, also to a woman, I didn't consider myself part of the LGBT community. Now that I'm living as an openly gay man I do.

    P.S. I think they are waiting for their 10 yr anniversary to pass before they divorce. They want to throw themselves a party. icon_lol.gif


    Well your situation is a but different. I doubt most of the bisexuals who marry opposite gender spouses are going to be having affairs with people of the same gender on the side. Assuming they stay with monogamous opposite gender spouses I don't really see them as one of us. I'm not saying their sexuality has changed but I'm saying that they might as well be straight because they don't have anything to do with us. What can we offer them? Social acceptance? They've already got it by being in a straight relationship. Is this going to be the fashionable thing to do now? Be with a straight partner but still claim you're part of us? Like having the best if both worlds right? This is why I don't trust bisexual men in relationships. Don't dislike them as people.


    Is it just my perception, but an awful lot of your posts are divisive.

    Why the them vs. us mentality? What does it accomplish but dividing people? black vs. white, gay vs. straight, minority vs. majority, men vs. women, fems vs. "straight-acting" lesbians vs. gays,


    We are all human we all bleed red; if you cut us open I don't think you can differentiate a gay spleen from a straight spleen, a lesbian pancreas from a gay pancreas, a white kidney from a black kidney, a Latino heart from a Chinese heart. We all want better lives, we all want to be happy, we all want to be free to be ourselves.

    Let's stop being divisive within our our community first and then the world community. We are all human beings.

    I often wish our planet would be invaded by an alien race from a distant galaxy. Then we would put aside our petty differences and come together as one to defend us all. We might be vanquished but for one moment in human history the human race would have cooperated as a whole for the common good of all.

    Holy shit! I can't believe all that just came out of me! I knew I shouldn't have eaten granola for breakfast. icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
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    Jul 17, 2013 5:10 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    TransparentUnity said
    UndercoverMan saidWell in my book my BF, who is married to a woman, is certainly a part of the LGBT community as evidenced by the rockin' great gay sex we had this morning, and as far as I'm concerned it's only my opinion and his that counts.

    When I was married, also to a woman, I didn't consider myself part of the LGBT community. Now that I'm living as an openly gay man I do.

    P.S. I think they are waiting for their 10 yr anniversary to pass before they divorce. They want to throw themselves a party. icon_lol.gif


    Well your situation is a but different. I doubt most of the bisexuals who marry opposite gender spouses are going to be having affairs with people of the same gender on the side. Assuming they stay with monogamous opposite gender spouses I don't really see them as one of us. I'm not saying their sexuality has changed but I'm saying that they might as well be straight because they don't have anything to do with us. What can we offer them? Social acceptance? They've already got it by being in a straight relationship. Is this going to be the fashionable thing to do now? Be with a straight partner but still claim you're part of us? Like having the best if both worlds right? This is why I don't trust bisexual men in relationships. Don't dislike them as people.


    Is it just my perception, but an awful lot of your posts are divisive.

    Why the them vs. us mentality? What does it accomplish but dividing people? black vs. white, gay vs. straight, minority vs. majority, men vs. women, fems vs. "straight-acting" lesbians vs. gays,


    We are all human we all bleed red; if you cut us open I don't think you can differentiate a gay spleen from a straight spleen, a lesbian pancreas from a gay pancreas, a white kidney from a black kidney, a Latino heart from a Chinese heart. We all want better lives, we all want to be happy, we all want to be free to be ourselves.

    Let's stop being divisive within our our community first and then the world community. We are all human beings.

    I often wish our planet would be invaded by an alien race from a distant galaxy. Then we would put aside our petty differences and come together as one to defend us all. We might be vanquished but for one moment in human history the human race would have cooperated as a whole for the common good of all.

    Holy shit! I can't believe all that just came out of me! I knew I shouldn't have eaten granola for breakfast. icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif


    Great post .... I think your best yet
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    Jul 17, 2013 5:20 PM GMT
    I'm not trying to be divisive. It's just to me it feels like if we're gonna be this inclusive then what's the point in actually identifying as gay? It just seems like an easy way out. Like someone can be with someone of the opposite sex and get all that comes with but still be a part of the 'community'.

    Again this mostly applies to males as far as I am concerned. When it was brought up in group I didn't have strong feelings it was a woman. My response was basically you're an ally but you don't get anything out of this so why would you want to be a part of it?