Warning Labels on Men

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 08, 2008 4:18 PM GMT
    i recently saw a sketch where the comedienne suggested that men should come with warning labels, so you know what you're getting yourself into, if you start a relationship.

    my warnings would be: low tolerance for ignorance; known to be bitchy without morning coffee; 100% bottom.

    what about you?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 08, 2008 4:24 PM GMT
    Low tolerance for people without curiosity; and even lower for people who are not passionate about at least ONE issue, ideal, subject matter, etc.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 08, 2008 4:28 PM GMT
    -Spends more time in the washroom preening than keeping abreast of the news.

    - Thinks that Britney Spears is a musical genius.

    - Has never heard of the Beatles.

    - Needs to have a drink of alcohol before 9 AM in the morning.

    - Likes to bareback.

    - Does not think that HIV causes AIDS.

    - Would rather cut social programs than the defense budget due to fears of terrorism.

    - Refuses to befriend anyone of Moslem faith because he believes they might be a supporter of terrorists.

    - Defends organized religion for opposing gay rights.

    - Thinks that Creationism should be taught alongside evolution in school science classes.

    That is a good start I feel.
  • Southern_Draw...

    Posts: 119

    Nov 08, 2008 9:17 PM GMT
    Do not feed me after midnight.
    Do not put me in direct sunlight.
    And whatever you do, don't get me wet!
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Nov 08, 2008 9:41 PM GMT
    **** Careful when feeding ****

    Tends to get nasty when things don't go his way

    Uncommunicative and inconsolable when angry

    Likes a lot of physical activity
    Homebodies need not apply

    DO NOT INSERT BATTERIES !icon_rolleyes.gif


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 08, 2008 9:59 PM GMT
    Irritable
    Short tempered
    Aggressive sexual tendencies
    Demanding
    Ignorant
    Gassy

    Yeah, thats about me..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 08, 2008 10:14 PM GMT
    warning labels are nice but i would prefer a world where little SIM bubble float above our heads with a numerical value that shows how compatible they are.

    I know im a big dreamer...
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Nov 08, 2008 10:37 PM GMT
    WARNING - When interacting with this man:
    * Do not interact more than directed.
    * Excitability may occur, especially in children.
    * Marked drowsiness may occur.
    * Avoid alcoholic drinks.
    * Be careful when driving a motor vehicle or operating machinery.
    * Alcohol, sedatives, and tranquilizers may increase drowsiness.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 08, 2008 11:05 PM GMT
    --Seldom serious
    --Low tolerance for morons
    --Not interested in any form of cohabitation.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 08, 2008 11:25 PM GMT
    Can get upset and act irrational at times, as well as being insecure and question self worth. All he needs is a hug.

    Can be dangerous in the presence of credit cards, skittles or guys with blue eyes, muscles and motorcycles.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 08, 2008 11:51 PM GMT
    Not housebroken, vicious, barks a lot, not good with children, doesn't play well with others. May be difficult to place.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2008 12:08 AM GMT
    Hand Wash, Medium Temperature

    Mild Soap, No Detergent

    Dry Flat on Towel

    Reposition & Stretch Often to Avoid Shrinkage

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2008 12:23 AM GMT
    * Will check out other guy's asses.icon_twisted.gif
    * has to little time
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2008 12:29 AM GMT
    WARNING! THIS MALE SPECIES CONTAINS EXPLOSIVE MATERIALS
    May combust if not fed 5 to 6 times daily, or has not come into contact with caffeine within the first hour upon waking. Prone to mood swings, nausea, nervousness and irritability especially around messy and stinky environments, cats, idiots, bigots, smartasses, liars, backstabbers, fakers and haters. May scream, yell and become violent if further provoked by the above mentioned irritants. If this occurs, immediately take him outside and provide him with food, nicotine, tact, physical affection, honesty and sympathy. Be advised to tell the truth and provide intelligent conversation at ALL times.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2008 12:54 AM GMT
    WARNING: Do not subject to sudden or loud noises or repetitive sounds, religious intolerance, nicotine or hard liquor.

    BEST RESULTS will occur when surrounded by cats, dogs, crawdads, Star Trek, bullwhips, marijuana, and Black people, or when placed in hot tub at temperatures of 106 to 110 degrees Fahrenheit or high-heat steam room. During sexual use, bareback only for optimum results but heed SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: BIOHAZARDOUS. Bareback at own risk.

    Store in mentally stimulating environment for OPTIMUM CREATIVITY!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2008 12:55 AM GMT
    Constantly on heat.
  • ASH557

    Posts: 112

    Nov 09, 2008 1:09 AM GMT
    *Low flash point.

    x
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2008 1:10 AM GMT

    Wears plaid everyday.

    Is mean.

    You'll love him too much.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2008 1:34 AM GMT
    ****WARNING! *****icon_eek.gif

    This MAN comes from the factory, preset to run this way!
    DO NOT ATTEMPT TO RESET!
    EXTREMES ARE HIS "NORMAL!"....icon_lol.gif

    "Call me a joker, call me a fool
    Right at this moment I'm totally cool
    Clear as a crystal, sharp as a knife
    I feel like I'm in the prime of my life
    Sometimes it feels like I'm going too fast
    I don't know how long this feeling will last
    Maybe it's only tonight

    Darling I don't know why I go to extremes
    Too high or too low there ain't no in-betweens
    And if I stand or I fall
    It's all or nothing at all
    Darling I don't know why I go to extremes

    Sometimes I'm tired, sometimes I'm shot
    Sometimes I don't know how much more I've got
    Maybe I'm headed over the hill
    Maybe I've set myself up for the kill
    Tell me how much do you think you can take
    Until the heart in you is starting to break?
    Sometimes it feels like it will

    Darling I don't know why I go to extremes
    Too high or too low there ain't no in-betweens
    You can be sure when I'm gone
    I won't be out there too long
    Darling I don't know why I go to extremes

    Out of the darkness, into the light
    Leaving the scene of the crime
    Either I'm wrong or I'm perfectly right every time
    Sometimes I lie awake, night after night
    Coming apart at the seams
    Eager to please, ready to fight
    Why do I go to extremes?

    And if I stand or I fall
    It's all or nothing at all
    Darling I don't know why I go to extremes

    No I don't know why I go to extremes
    Too high or too low
    There ain't no in-betweens
    You can be sure when I'm gone
    I won't be out there too long
    Darling I don't know why I go to extremes

    I don't know why...I don't know why...
    I don't know why...I don't know why...
    Out in the dark...into the light
    ...".....I GO TO EXTREMES, by BILLY JOEL


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYuS7_paGbU
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2008 1:51 AM GMT
    WARNING: DO NOT FEED BEANS
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2008 1:54 AM GMT

    Often takes on too many projects and overloads his schedule.

    Will make plenty of mistakes.

    Will eventually die.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 09, 2008 2:00 AM GMT
    WARNING:
    - Requires logic, occasional solitude, kindness
    - Unintentionally brutally honest
    - Slow to anger
    - If angry: seek immediate shelter
    - To maintain health: submerge in water daily
  • MotorBrett

    Posts: 145

    Nov 09, 2008 2:23 AM GMT
    Hand wash / treat with care / do not tumble dry.
  • MSUBioNerd

    Posts: 1813

    Nov 09, 2008 3:55 AM GMT
    Will respond to virtually all situations with logic, not emotion.
    Do not ask questions to which you do not want honest answers.
    Votes for individuals, not political parties.
    Low tolerance for willful ignorance and/or apathy.
    Maintains friendships with men and women of multiple orientations, including former dates. Not recommended for those abnormally susceptible to jealousy.
    Do not try to operate while under the influence of alcohol or medications (legal or otherwise) which induce drowsiness.
    To avoid potentially serious complications, discuss pets (in particular dogs) before mixing.

    Best results occur with honesty, respect, and kindness. Thrives on a mixture of silliness and seriousness. Requires little sleep, but lots of water and carbohydrates.

    Washing by hand is highly encouraged. ;)
  • tomchadwin

    Posts: 26

    Nov 09, 2008 3:58 AM GMT
    WARNING:

    Lying, Manipulative, Pathological, Cheating Scumbag

    icon_exclaim.gif