Would you go to a mixed bar?

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    Jul 19, 2013 9:32 PM GMT
    I notices more and more clubs and bars are becoming 'intergrated' with straights, gays, etc going to the same places. Would you go to one or do you think that scene needs to remain segregated?

    If I weren't single I wouldn't care but if I was I'd be annoyed. How are you supposed to hit on someone? The one near me has straight boys who go there with their girlfriends. But then get offended when a gay guy flirts with them. Personally I think wouldn't mind going to a mixed bar without the intention of getting laid. But I understand for some people the need to be somewhere of your own. Although all the bars here are becoming integrated.
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    Jul 20, 2013 6:12 AM GMT
    No one willing to touch this one, lol?
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    Jul 20, 2013 6:16 AM GMT
    It would really depend on what kind of night I would want to have. More specifically, if I was by myself, I would want to go to a place that is primarily gay, in order to both meet people and see where the night goes from there. However, if out with friends (most of whom are straight), I wouldn't mind it being more integrated.
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    Jul 20, 2013 6:22 AM GMT
    I don't go to a lot of bars/clubs these days, but the ones I did go to were always pretty mixed. The gay bars in town attract a certain amount of straight people as well.

    There never has been any sort of strict segregation, at least here, nor should there be.

    Most of my straight friends that have gone to gay bars understand that they might be hit on and just politely decline if that happens.

    Personally, when I go out, it's usually to hang out and be social, rather than get laid, so it doesn't bother me in the slightest.
  • outbackdude

    Posts: 242

    Jul 20, 2013 6:25 AM GMT
    Well I dont mind it but it would be nice if the entry stamp says gay, lesbian or bisexual. It would make it easy.
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    Jul 20, 2013 6:35 AM GMT
    whitedarwin saidWell I dont mind it but it would be nice if the entry stamp says gay, lesbian or bisexual. It would make it easy.


    That would be nice but odd lol.

    I joke the gays should hijack straight bars and clubs like they seem to do to ours.
  • outbackdude

    Posts: 242

    Jul 20, 2013 6:45 AM GMT
    TransparentUnity said
    whitedarwin saidWell I dont mind it but it would be nice if the entry stamp says gay, lesbian or bisexual. It would make it easy.


    That would be nice but odd lol.

    I joke the gays should hijack straight bars and clubs like they seem to do to ours.


    It happens at pride all the time.
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    Jul 20, 2013 9:14 AM GMT
    All bars should be mixed. There should be no segregation.

    Straight bars are not actually defined as straight bars. They're just bars. Go to them. You will not be murdered. Abandon the scene and live in the real world.

    Please thanks ta.
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    Jul 20, 2013 1:13 PM GMT
    gayinterest saidAll bars should be mixed. There should be no segregation.

    Straight bars are not actually defined as straight bars. They're just bars. Go to them. You will not be murdered. Abandon the scene and live in the real world.

    Please thanks ta.


    Not always possible. Where I live if a group of gay guys decided to go down to one of the clubs in the hood they would probably be assaulted.
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    Jul 20, 2013 1:28 PM GMT
    TransparentUnity said
    gayinterest saidAll bars should be mixed. There should be no segregation.

    Straight bars are not actually defined as straight bars. They're just bars. Go to them. You will not be murdered. Abandon the scene and live in the real world.

    Please thanks ta.

    Not always possible. Where I live if a group of gay guys decided to go down to one of the clubs in the hood they would probably be assaulted.

    I encountered the same thing in rural bars.
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    Jul 20, 2013 1:31 PM GMT
    ART_DECO said
    TransparentUnity said
    gayinterest saidAll bars should be mixed. There should be no segregation.

    Straight bars are not actually defined as straight bars. They're just bars. Go to them. You will not be murdered. Abandon the scene and live in the real world.

    Please thanks ta.

    Not always possible. Where I live if a group of gay guys decided to go down to one of the clubs in the hood they would probably be assaulted.

    I encountered the same thing in rural bars.


    Basically in nontolerant areas it just is not an option. It would be interesting if a group of gays like invaded one and dared the homophobes to throw them out.
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    Jul 20, 2013 2:07 PM GMT
    dc0776 saidI don't go to a lot of bars/clubs these days, but the ones I did go to were always pretty mixed. The gay bars in town attract a certain amount of straight people as well.

    There never has been any sort of strict segregation, at least here, nor should there be.

    Most of my straight friends that have gone to gay bars understand that they might be hit on and just politely decline if that happens.

    Personally, when I go out, it's usually to hang out and be social, rather than get laid, so it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

    I don't mind straight people in gay bars, we sometimes invite our straight friends into gay restaurants & bars with us. Nor do I have trouble going into straight bars (when they'll have us), and there's also a local lesbian bar we regularly go into.

    But I still like a largely gay atmosphere, where we can discuss gay topics openly, gay magazines & newspapers are stocked, and PDAs aren't a problem.

    For 7 years I only had one gay bar available within over a 100-mile radius. It was also near 3 different college campuses, so it saw lots of straight students who would go there out of curiosity, or on a dare, or because it had the best dance floor and DJ in town.

    I liked the idea that straights were mingling with us, maybe break down some misconceptions and become friendlier to us in other ways. But unfortunately some of them were just loud & obnoxious, especially the female students.

    Along with their male companions who came along under protest in many cases, proclaiming to everyone non-stop how they weren't gay themselves. And looking to pick a fight with any gay guy they thought looked at them funny.

    So another situation where I didn't think the mix worked well much of the time, despite my idealism. Therefore I do often feel more comfortable with other gays, but is that any different from bars that tend to sort along age lines, or income levels, or interests like sports, and so forth?

    Many straight bars try to intentionally specialize in those niches, so what's wrong with having a gay bar? Just like there can be sports bars, martini bars and wine bars, singles bars and video bars, there can certainly be gay bars, and if there's a local demand for them then they'll thrive.

    And even within the gay community the bars in larger markets (like here) specialize even more, catering to bears, leather, twinks, seniors, and lovers of piano lounges, sports, club music, male strippers, drag queens, dancing, etc, etc. I'm not sure what would happen to those interests if gay bars went away, and every bar was sexually "generic".
  • Amelorn

    Posts: 231

    Jul 20, 2013 3:09 PM GMT
    Yeah yeah yeah "inclusion" and "wouldn't it be wonderful if..."

    Queers (or all varieties) need a safe space where they can have a drink, enjoy the show, and maybe pinch the eye candy without being brutalised.

    Being gay (or bi, for that matter) in a straight club sucks. (Actually, being in a club is torture, IMO, but we're assuming you're into that sort of thing). A gay bar, for the time, offers a sense of belonging/being the main demographic rather than being tokenised or feeling distinctly apart as the "other." Getting to be part of the majority is a very rare phenomenon for us.

    Rant mode on: Straights have enough fucking bars. Can't I have a fucking Long Island without having to watch you two grope each other and otherwise be openly straight?

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    Jul 20, 2013 3:45 PM GMT
    I think you made a good point TransparentUnity. When single I spent a lot of time in mixed bars and the straight guys could be downright hostile when I or others approached them. The other thing that used to play out was making buddy with their girlfriends. One guy took me aside and warned me about hitting on his GF.
    Ay yi yi. For the most part though, it was OK. Most straights were smart enough to realize the venue they were in. icon_wink.gif
  • travis_27

    Posts: 178

    Jul 20, 2013 3:46 PM GMT
    This is a problem with the US. In Canada, most bars are mixed now. Assault based on sexual orientations are extremely rare. I know of only 1 case that happened in London, Ontario.
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    Jul 20, 2013 3:49 PM GMT
    travis_27 saidThis is a problem with the US. In Canada, most bars are mixed now. Assault based on sexual orientations are extremely rare. I know of only 1 case that happened in London, Ontario.


    I wouldn't mind that if I wasn't looking for someone. But I get the feeling that if you're gay in a mixed bar PDA and dancing and hitting on other guys is somewhat frowned upon.
  • travis_27

    Posts: 178

    Jul 20, 2013 3:56 PM GMT
    TransparentUnity said
    travis_27 saidThis is a problem with the US. In Canada, most bars are mixed now. Assault based on sexual orientations are extremely rare. I know of only 1 case that happened in London, Ontario.


    I wouldn't mind that if I wasn't looking for someone. But I get the feeling that if you're gay in a mixed bar PDA and dancing and hitting on other guys is somewhat frowned upon.


    You can hit on straight bars too but you will likely disappoint yourself. I think its in the Canadian attitude that if they don't like it, they will ignore it and keep a distance. Most Canadians wouldn't start spitting venom against you and get down to their fists. You must also think that just because a bar is gay with all the gay people would not translate to everyone taking you pleasantly. You may still piss off some people by hitting on them.
  • jackie8504

    Posts: 8

    Jul 20, 2013 4:05 PM GMT
    TransparentUnity saidI notices more and more clubs and bars are becoming 'intergrated' with straights, gays, etc going to the same places. Would you go to one or do you think that scene needs to remain segregated?

    If I weren't single I wouldn't care but if I was I'd be annoyed. How are you supposed to hit on someone? The one near me has straight boys who go there with their girlfriends. But then get offended when a gay guy flirts with them. Personally I think wouldn't mind going to a mixed bar without the intention of getting laid. But I understand for some people the need to be somewhere of your own. Although all the bars here are becoming integrated.
    i go to mixed bars in the boston area.around here its not hard to tell the singles sit at the bar.most if not all gay males will were something that lets the other know where they stand.for me i wear tight jeans and panties and sport a visable panty line.that allways works for me.hope this helped.
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    Jul 20, 2013 4:08 PM GMT
    jackie8504 said
    TransparentUnity saidI notices more and more clubs and bars are becoming 'intergrated' with straights, gays, etc going to the same places. Would you go to one or do you think that scene needs to remain segregated?

    If I weren't single I wouldn't care but if I was I'd be annoyed. How are you supposed to hit on someone? The one near me has straight boys who go there with their girlfriends. But then get offended when a gay guy flirts with them. Personally I think wouldn't mind going to a mixed bar without the intention of getting laid. But I understand for some people the need to be somewhere of your own. Although all the bars here are becoming integrated.
    i go to mixed bars in the boston area.around here its not hard to tell the singles sit at the bar.most if not all gay males will were something that lets the other know where they stand.for me i wear tight jeans and panties and sport a visable panty line.that allways works for me.hope this helped.

    icon_eek.gif
  • jackie8504

    Posts: 8

    Jul 20, 2013 4:13 PM GMT
    TransparentUnity said
    travis_27 saidThis is a problem with the US. In Canada, most bars are mixed now. Assault based on sexual orientations are extremely rare. I know of only 1 case that happened in London, Ontario.


    I wouldn't mind that if I wasn't looking for someone. But I get the feeling that if you're gay in a mixed bar PDA and dancing and hitting on other guys is somewhat frowned upon.
    thats every where not just where u are.some guys like my self sometimes just want to have a drink and enjoy the scene around them and not be botherd.other times im out i will dress a little different if i want to be hit on.i think if you look a little closer u will be able to for your self.may i buy u a drink is allwas a good way to read a persons mood/straight or gay.
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    Jul 20, 2013 4:14 PM GMT
    sure why not?
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    Jul 20, 2013 4:23 PM GMT
    I ONLY go to "mixed" bars. Gays love to preach about inclusiveness, but they're the first to segregate themselves and others. I hate cliques and gay bars are just that. And yes, if I find a guy interesting, I walk right up and say hello. I don't care if he's with a girl or not. It could be his sister for all I know. I've met tons of smoking hot guys this way that would never step foot in a gay bar. That being said, I do live in a city where pretty much all the bars are mixed so it's a lot less threatening to do it here. However I do the same thing when I travel, and with great success I might ad. Even if they turn out to be totally straight, they are flattered and very nice about it. Hell, I've made good buddies this way and we spent the rest of the night with him poking me and asking me "hey, what about that guy?"
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    Jul 20, 2013 7:32 PM GMT
    TransparentUnity said
    gayinterest saidAll bars should be mixed. There should be no segregation.

    Straight bars are not actually defined as straight bars. They're just bars. Go to them. You will not be murdered. Abandon the scene and live in the real world.

    Please thanks ta.


    Not always possible. Where I live if a group of gay guys decided to go down to one of the clubs in the hood they would probably be assaulted.


    Sorry, why the fuck are you only hanging out with groups of gay guys? Can you not have a MIXED group of friends? Maybe get to know some women?

    I will go into any pub/bar as long as they're not hanging the St George flat outside it (sure sign
    they're racist)
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    Jul 20, 2013 7:38 PM GMT
    I have never been to a club. I haven't even gone to a house party icon_surprised.gif but I like to talk to everyone so I would think mixed? icon_neutral.gif
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    Jul 20, 2013 7:44 PM GMT
    gayinterest said
    TransparentUnity said
    gayinterest saidAll bars should be mixed. There should be no segregation.

    Straight bars are not actually defined as straight bars. They're just bars. Go to them. You will not be murdered. Abandon the scene and live in the real world.

    Please thanks ta.


    Not always possible. Where I live if a group of gay guys decided to go down to one of the clubs in the hood they would probably be assaulted.


    Sorry, why the fuck are you only hanging out with groups of gay guys? Can you not have a MIXED group of friends? Maybe get to know some women?

    I will go into any pub/bar as long as they're not hanging the St George flat outside it (sure sign
    they're racist)


    Why would I want to get to know some women? I'm gay not straight.

    I have female friends but we typically just shop or hangout at home.

    When I go out on the town it's usually with the few gay friends I have or alone. And usually we are looking for dudes so we would go to a gay venue. This is not the place where you want to accidentally hit on straight men.,