accepting parents

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2013 5:30 AM GMT
    do you think being raised being openly gay makes a difference. I was raised by conservative parents I was always the crazy liberal black sheep ov my family. but kids who were raised by parents who accepted them could bring their bfs home, get taught morals in gay dating because they have parent that they can talk to. I know im a slut but I cant help it, I know im being used but im addicted to the attention. I get insulted and spiral into a depresssion if someone turn me down, which I know is dumb and I need to get over myself. but its whay I know. everything is so trial and error, with no gay friends and no guide most of us still have to figure everything out ourselves and we repeat the same mistakes that generations hav made before. I clearly think having parents who understand and accept you at a early age makes a difference. but what do you think? theres so much knowledge and experience out there it sucks that it doesnt always get passed on.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jul 20, 2013 5:40 AM GMT
    You didn't feel the love and acceptance from your parents that you desired. They likely made you feel ashamed of who you are, even though they may not have even known about it. So your desire to go from man to man is seeking the love and acceptance you feel you did not get from your parents (and family). You are better than that. You need to learn to love you.
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    Jul 20, 2013 5:47 AM GMT
    I was glad my mother accepted me just fine. She said she knew it, but didn't want to see it. We can talk about it just like I could talk about a straight relationship.
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    Jul 20, 2013 6:01 AM GMT
    im honestly jealous but happy for ppl who do have parents they can talk to. but I know im far from the only one. there are guys much worse than me out there. it needs to be a societal change where kids can have a open dialogue and get guidance from thrit parents with out judgement
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    Jul 20, 2013 3:01 PM GMT
    I didn't have to fight acceptance with my parents , they were the first one to say " we want you to be happy " .
    When i got married , they were concerned and had a talk with me , when i divorced they were the first one to support me .
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    Jul 20, 2013 3:58 PM GMT
    theaterjock saiddo you think being raised being openly gay makes a difference. I was raised by conservative parents I was always the crazy liberal black sheep ov my family. but kids who were raised by parents who accepted them could bring their bfs home, get taught morals in gay dating because they have parent that they can talk to. I know im a slut but I cant help it, I know im being used but im addicted to the attention. I get insulted and spiral into a depresssion if someone turn me down, which I know is dumb and I need to get over myself. but its whay I know. everything is so trial and error, with no gay friends and no guide most of us still have to figure everything out ourselves and we repeat the same mistakes that generations hav made before. I clearly think having parents who understand and accept you at a early age makes a difference. but what do you think? theres so much knowledge and experience out there it sucks that it doesnt always get passed on.


    I was raised by humanists, accepting of human nature, and I've a good moral center which I believe I'd have developed on my own regardless of who raised me, i.e. I will defend myself but I do try to not hurt others.

    Having parents who accepted my sexuality had nothing to do with my enjoyment of an abundant variety of sexual encounters including two 10-year open relationships. I didn't go into those relationships thinking I required open ones, it just so happened that the first was with a practicing bi guy and the second was with a guy who I was not sexually compatible with but who I loved. My dick might control my brain sometimes but it does not control my heart. I still love them both deeply.

    That you get depressed by being rejected for a casual sexual encounter, I feel, is a separate issue from simply enjoying sex with a variety of people. If something doesn't cause you stress and doesn't hurt others, then calling that a mistake is called being judgmental. If your activities do cause you stress, then, obviously, you need to fix that.

    The biggest mistake my generation made was to be born when we were born. Pardon us. But news flash, generations after today, gay people will still be born into unaccepting families and children will still be blaming their parents for their struggles.

    Of course it would have been easier for you, better, had you accepting parents and you have our sympathies. Being rejected for your humanity must be horrible and so you must find a way to deal with that as best you can.

    Even my accepting family is subject to the douchebaggery influences of living in this society. No one in my family would not want me to have the same human rights they have, yet not one called to congratulate me when we gained some rights to marry at the national level. Not one, not even with acceptance, not even knowing how important that was to me. Knowing that I lived my entire life without that. And I've put that topic out for discussion here a number of times and not one person on this forum has stated (and least not one that I caught--pardon me if I missed it) that they received a call from their families or str8 friends the day the Supreme Court ruled in our favor.

    So even within our accepting families and among our friends, this world still has a long way to go. Might never get there. But that's not our mistake. We've been working hard to change things and we hope you continue the good fight. But sometimes life itself seems to be the mistake. We find our ways to best survive it. You do the same and you're going to be okay.
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    Jul 20, 2013 4:06 PM GMT
    I think what you've said is very, very true, and I can relate tremendously. I know it's a cliche, and no I haven't told my mother, but once you tell others and at least have others to talk to, it does get better. Later on your parents will have to either accept you or accept that you've made your decision without their approval. Either way it's your life.