Complicated relationship?

  • Fargo

    Posts: 144

    Jul 20, 2013 9:02 PM GMT
    So I'm a 33 year old quite successful guy with my own house and a very stable job who has been in a relationship with a 22 year old guy for the past 3 years. I always thought he was into me because he needed someone in his life as he was going through very rough times with his family back then, and I offered him a way out.

    At any rate, I fell in love with him, but we have many problems over the years mostly due to what I see as neglect from his side as he would rather spend time with his friends than me, and due to the age difference, I don't want to hang with his friends at any rate. I did support him financially since he doesn't have a job and is still in college, and at many times I felt he is just using me. However, he's not the type that asks for money, and if does, it would be after he exhausted all other means from his family..etc. However, last year I had a plastic surgery to fix my gynocomastia, and after that surgery, he was asking me if he can do a rhinoplasty since the shape of his nose bothers him tremendously (which I don't have problems with). I didn't agree at first, but then I said OK we will do it in a few months. Well, problems kept coming back in the relationship and I never felt he deserves it so I cancelled the whole thing and he got mad because I promised him something and backed off.

    During the last 3 years, we broke off maybe 6 or 7 times. Each time lasts between 2 weeks to 3 months. But regardless of that, we always come back together. Most of the times I initiate it back, but other times he does. He used to live with me which I think is the cause of the problems as we see too much of each other daily. Currently, he lives at his family's place and I live at my own and he is getting more independent financially but not quite there.

    Sexually it's not going great. When we first me I was 95 KG and he was into chubby guys and the sex was OK, now I'm 77 KG with reasonably good body and he doesn't like that at all, he wants me 90+ KG. He says he can't control this.

    I think I can be a bit needy at times, wanting to be with him all the time, but he says he also wants to live his life and spend it with his friends and family...etc. For the past few days I decided to care less and see what happens. He actually started caring more and message me..etc. I'm not sure how long will this last. All my friends ask me to terminate my relationship, but I just cannot let go. I tried so many times before and failed. So I'm really confused about my relationship now...
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    Jul 21, 2013 3:09 AM GMT
    he seriously sounds like a spoilt brat. Do you really need a man that weak in your life?
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    Jul 21, 2013 5:22 AM GMT
    You don't need that. You need someone who can celebrate your new body as much as you seem to do.
  • jordon21

    Posts: 43

    Jul 21, 2013 11:41 AM GMT
    feel the exact same about my guy... You're no aloneicon_sad.gif
  • Fargo

    Posts: 144

    Jul 21, 2013 11:43 AM GMT
    It's not about the body part, that's a small issue. I am just growing sick of playing the "Sugar daddy" role... yet despite that, I still cling to him. It's a viscous cycle.
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    Jul 21, 2013 12:07 PM GMT
    Maybe stop and ask yourself what more there is to your relationship than you being the sugar daddy. Are those parts and moments worth you being the rich wallet?
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    Jul 21, 2013 12:13 PM GMT
    Fargo saidIt's not about the body part, that's a small issue. I am just growing sick of playing the "Sugar daddy" role... yet despite that, I still cling to him. It's a viscous cycle.


    Break the cycle. The emotional roller coaster is no good for the both of you.
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    Jul 21, 2013 12:31 PM GMT
    22 yrs old??? You were with him since he was 19 yrs old? Sound like he is immature or spoil brat to me. I don't mess with boys
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    Jul 21, 2013 12:33 PM GMT
    break up with him. I think u waiting for things to change which they will not. I think from day one u never trusted his true intention of why he was dating u. first u felt like he was seeing u as mother terressa, then it was the money issue and now it your physical appearance. U keeping looking for approval from this young lad and i think as generious as u have been to him, he will never appriciate you. Dnt waste your time move on.
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    Jul 21, 2013 4:07 PM GMT
    Surry said
    Fargo saidIt's not about the body part, that's a small issue. I am just growing sick of playing the "Sugar daddy" role... yet despite that, I still cling to him. It's a viscous cycle.


    Break the cycle. The emotional roller coaster is no good for the both of you.

    I agree with Surry....break the cycle now, get your life back, spare yourself the emotional highs and lows!
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    Jul 21, 2013 9:42 PM GMT
    At 19, few know what they want in a relationship.
    It does sound like a relationship of convenience with you paying the price.
    If you're not ready to pull the plug just yet, at least cut off all the funding and see how long he hangs around.
    You and your new found body deserve someone who appreciates YOU and not your wallet.
    Best of luck... Keep us posted.
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    Jul 21, 2013 9:46 PM GMT
    Let him go. He's not worth your time.
  • Fargo

    Posts: 144

    Jul 22, 2013 8:40 AM GMT
    Looks like I'll cut the funds and see what happens. Meanwhile, I'll try to move on...
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    Jul 22, 2013 9:16 AM GMT
    Jeez... Sounds like an absolute little brat... Dump hi... You can find better...