Raising a family

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2013 7:34 AM GMT
    Why do gay men never talk about raising a family? We don't want it? I feel like I'm about to have an age induced anxiety attack icon_eek.gif.

    I turn 35 in less than 2 weeks. I have no children yet my biggest dream is to raise a family. My sister's baby is my desktop wallpaper. I want to be a "mom" so bad. Its something I've always wanted but since hitting my 30's I've not only realized its unlikely but I'm coming to realize it may really never happen. icon_sad.gif
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    Jul 21, 2013 7:51 AM GMT
    If you want a child, then have one! you can always adopt...right?
    Do the laws in your country allow you to adopt even if you're not married?

    Trust me, There are many gay men who'd love to have a family...just like you do!

    How about looking it from different perspective...like, the world is one big family and you and I are a small part of it!
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    Jul 21, 2013 7:53 AM GMT
    I know. My niece has now become the best part of my week. I want to raise a family too. I want to have children. I want to drive them to school, cook for them, take them to amusement park, hobby classes, buy them toys and gifts. Just have a family you call your own.
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    Jul 21, 2013 7:57 AM GMT
    I actually hear about gay guys wanting to start families quite often. There are tons of men dying to adopt children and get married, but there's so many obstacles that gay couples have to go through, I'm sure that discourages many of them.

    It's nice to hear that you want to raise a family, it's definitely possible. :^]
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    Jul 21, 2013 7:58 AM GMT
    ricky1987 saidI know. My niece has now become the best part of my week. I want to raise a family too. I want to have children. I want to drive them to school, cook for them, take them to amusement park, hobby classes, buy them toys and gifts. Just have a family you call your own.


    Thats exactly how I feel. I want it so much and I feel like a freak because as gay men we're not supposed to want this and even uttering it to potential partners is like a relationship death sentence.
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    Jul 21, 2013 8:01 AM GMT
    uoft23 said
    ricky1987 saidI know. My niece has now become the best part of my week. I want to raise a family too. I want to have children. I want to drive them to school, cook for them, take them to amusement park, hobby classes, buy them toys and gifts. Just have a family you call your own.


    Thats exactly how I feel. I want it so much and I feel like a freak because as gay men we're not supposed to want this and even uttering it to potential partners is like a relationship death sentence.


    Well its not just that. The most common answer I hear from other gay men is that you are taking problems of others for nothing when you can be single, travel the world and live a freer life. It makes sense to me and of course I want to have the cake and eat it too. But let's be honest the so called single and free and not doing the same thing they keep fantasizing about.
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    Jul 21, 2013 8:05 AM GMT
    ricky1987 said
    uoft23 said
    ricky1987 saidI know. My niece has now become the best part of my week. I want to raise a family too. I want to have children. I want to drive them to school, cook for them, take them to amusement park, hobby classes, buy them toys and gifts. Just have a family you call your own.


    Thats exactly how I feel. I want it so much and I feel like a freak because as gay men we're not supposed to want this and even uttering it to potential partners is like a relationship death sentence.


    Well its not just that. The most common answer I hear from other gay men is that you are taking problems of others for nothing when you can be single, travel the world and live a freer life. It makes sense to me and of course I want to have the cake and eat it too. But let's be honest the so called single and free and not doing the same thing they keep fantasizing about.


    I don't really feel like its having your cake and eating it too. I'd be happy to give up income for an education savings fund and diapers.
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    Jul 21, 2013 8:07 AM GMT
    uoft23 said
    ricky1987 said
    uoft23 said
    ricky1987 saidI know. My niece has now become the best part of my week. I want to raise a family too. I want to have children. I want to drive them to school, cook for them, take them to amusement park, hobby classes, buy them toys and gifts. Just have a family you call your own.


    Thats exactly how I feel. I want it so much and I feel like a freak because as gay men we're not supposed to want this and even uttering it to potential partners is like a relationship death sentence.


    Well its not just that. The most common answer I hear from other gay men is that you are taking problems of others for nothing when you can be single, travel the world and live a freer life. It makes sense to me and of course I want to have the cake and eat it too. But let's be honest the so called single and free and not doing the same thing they keep fantasizing about.


    I don't really feel like its having your cake and eating it too. I'd be happy to give up income for an education savings fund and diapers.


    No what I meant is that I want to have kids and want to travel the world and see and experience news things. It would be even better if you have kids you can share the experience with. I agree with you on everything here.
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    Jul 21, 2013 12:29 PM GMT
    I raised three children from birth to college and I can tell you, it's the best thing I ever did. My only advice, try to have a great relationship before bringing a baby around, two parents are much easier to balance life and child raising.
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    Jul 21, 2013 1:27 PM GMT
    Find a young twink that's into older guys and wants to be a househusband and get cracking, lol.

    But seriously there's nothing wrong with being a single parent. One good parent is better than none. I had two shitty parents and I would of killed for just one who wasn't an ass.

    Also most gay men I know want kids. But I just don't think it's talked about so openly among the youth.
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    Jul 21, 2013 1:32 PM GMT
    Tomorrow is Monday. Start making your list today for the adoption agencies you will call tomorrow morning. This feeling will fade the moment you make that appointment.
  • HottJoe

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    Jul 21, 2013 4:57 PM GMT
    I always find it curious that so many gay men say they want to be "moms." It seems like the desire to be a mom would be a deep rooted biological trait, in need of further understanding.

    Personally, I have no desire for children. I have major goals yet to fulfill, and I think I'll be able to pay it forward, as it were, in other ways.

    You seem like a sweet guy, though. I'm sure you'll make a great parent. Good luck!icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 21, 2013 5:21 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidI always find it curious that so many gay men say they want to be "moms." It seems like the desire to be a mom would be a deep rooted biological trait, in need of further understanding.

    Personally, I have no desire for children. I have major goals yet to fulfill, and I think I'll be able to pay it forward, as it were, in other ways.

    You seem like a sweet guy, though. I'm sure you'll make a great parent. Good luck!icon_smile.gif


    What do you mean by that?
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 21, 2013 5:28 PM GMT
    TransparentUnity said
    HottJoe saidI always find it curious that so many gay men say they want to be "moms." It seems like the desire to be a mom would be a deep rooted biological trait, in need of further understanding.

    Personally, I have no desire for children. I have major goals yet to fulfill, and I think I'll be able to pay it forward, as it were, in other ways.

    You seem like a sweet guy, though. I'm sure you'll make a great parent. Good luck!icon_smile.gif


    What do you mean by that?

    I've often wondered if there is an evolutionary purpose to gay men, and it could be to adopt. That seems to be the case with gay penguins, where they adopt discarded eggs that would otherwise never hatch.
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    Jul 21, 2013 5:31 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    TransparentUnity said
    HottJoe saidI always find it curious that so many gay men say they want to be "moms." It seems like the desire to be a mom would be a deep rooted biological trait, in need of further understanding.

    Personally, I have no desire for children. I have major goals yet to fulfill, and I think I'll be able to pay it forward, as it were, in other ways.

    You seem like a sweet guy, though. I'm sure you'll make a great parent. Good luck!icon_smile.gif


    What do you mean by that?

    I've often wondered if there is an evolutionary purpose to gay men, and it could be to adopt. That seems to be the case with gay penguins, where they adopt discarded eggs that would otherwise never hatch.


    You may have a point there. Maybe our purpose is to care for those who otherwise would not have been cared for. But then how do you explain those who use surrogates?
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    Jul 22, 2013 1:06 AM GMT
    HottJoe said
    TransparentUnity said
    HottJoe saidI always find it curious that so many gay men say they want to be "moms." It seems like the desire to be a mom would be a deep rooted biological trait, in need of further understanding.

    Personally, I have no desire for children. I have major goals yet to fulfill, and I think I'll be able to pay it forward, as it were, in other ways.

    You seem like a sweet guy, though. I'm sure you'll make a great parent. Good luck!icon_smile.gif


    What do you mean by that?

    I've often wondered if there is an evolutionary purpose to gay men, and it could be to adopt. That seems to be the case with gay penguins, where they adopt discarded eggs that would otherwise never hatch.


    Let the record show, Joe and I agreed on something today. icon_razz.gif I have always felt like homosexuality was nature's way of combating overpopulation. Secondly, it could mean homes for all the homeless children, hence killing two birds with one stone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2013 1:07 AM GMT
    I have been told by several guys that hey want a family with me then of course they tend to also not want to settle down so yeah it seems more like a thought then a reality for some guys.
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    Jul 22, 2013 1:08 AM GMT
    HottJoe said
    TransparentUnity said
    HottJoe saidI always find it curious that so many gay men say they want to be "moms." It seems like the desire to be a mom would be a deep rooted biological trait, in need of further understanding.

    Personally, I have no desire for children. I have major goals yet to fulfill, and I think I'll be able to pay it forward, as it were, in other ways.

    You seem like a sweet guy, though. I'm sure you'll make a great parent. Good luck!icon_smile.gif


    What do you mean by that?

    I've often wondered if there is an evolutionary purpose to gay men, and it could be to adopt. That seems to be the case with gay penguins, where they adopt discarded eggs that would otherwise never hatch.


    rejects looking after rejects, i like it icon_wink.gif

    I say the word reject with affection in both cases.

    ALSO, to address the OP, I have planned to adopting at least 2 children on my 35th birthday, with or without a husband.

    Always wanted to be a dad, give my son or daughter the childhood I never had, and create a few decent people to add to the billions of creatures that are sorry excuses of humans thus far.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2013 1:12 AM GMT
    Aristoshark saidI raised a couple of brats.
    They turned out well.
    The runny noses stopped when they were 25 or so.


    I can tell you were a funny pop. icon_wink.gif
  • BIG_N_TALL

    Posts: 2190

    Jul 22, 2013 1:22 AM GMT
    I'd like to have kids, however it seems to be a no-go topic for guys.
  • monet

    Posts: 1093

    Jul 22, 2013 1:27 AM GMT
    I raised two kids and my advice for anyone, gay or straight, young or old, is to never consider raising a child as a single parent. It definitely takes two people to raise a child. If I had had to do it alone my kids literally would not have lived to see Kindergarten.
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    Jul 22, 2013 1:28 AM GMT
    I know I would love o have kids one day, I have been told by many that I would make a good father.
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    Jul 22, 2013 1:34 AM GMT
    uoft23 said
    ricky1987 said
    uoft23 said
    ricky1987 saidI know. My niece has now become the best part of my week. I want to raise a family too. I want to have children. I want to drive them to school, cook for them, take them to amusement park, hobby classes, buy them toys and gifts. Just have a family you call your own.


    Thats exactly how I feel. I want it so much and I feel like a freak because as gay men we're not supposed to want this and even uttering it to potential partners is like a relationship death sentence.


    Well its not just that. The most common answer I hear from other gay men is that you are taking problems of others for nothing when you can be single, travel the world and live a freer life. It makes sense to me and of course I want to have the cake and eat it too. But let's be honest the so called single and free and not doing the same thing they keep fantasizing about.


    I don't really feel like its having your cake and eating it too. I'd be happy to give up income for an education savings fund and diapers.


    UofT, don't EVER believe that you should live your life by how "other gay men" live theirs. I know several gay couples who've adopted kids and are better for it, in both their own eyes and my own. You should know, though, regardless of how you proceed, that many sperm banks do not accept donors over 35, so bear that in mind when making whatever decision(s) you will. Good luck!
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    Jul 22, 2013 1:57 AM GMT
    I want kids too!

    I want to adopt 4 kids

    2 young girls (Hispanic and Asian)
    and
    2 slightly older boys because they are harder to place homes for (Black and whatever my man choses)

    I'll be rich by then so I WON'T have to worry about their expenses

    icon_biggrin.gif

    LIFE!
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    Jul 22, 2013 2:03 AM GMT
    monet saidI raised two kids and my advice for anyone, gay or straight, young or old, is to never consider raising a child as a single parent. It definitely takes two people to raise a child. If I had had to do it alone my kids literally would not have lived to see Kindergarten.


    I always thought or wanted to be a single parent. I always saw myself doing it alone. Not that I'm opposed to another parent but I for someone reason would rather just be a single mom/dad/parent, lol. I don't think it's that hard. I've seen plenty of my aunts do it.