Love and Other things!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2013 10:48 AM GMT
    Alrite Guys! This is it! I don't want to live hiding with my life anymore.

    I come from an Orthodox Brahmin Hindu Family. I never had a relationship prior. This is my first relationship with my boyfriend. I am a pure and a clean monogamist and so him. He comes from a Christian background where he was being forced to not encourage but treat masturbation as sin from 18-30 years of age. When he came out of his closet in November 2011 to his parents and releasing himself from the religion, we met in December 2011. We had the time of our life and we even celebrated our first year anniversary with a heart shaped box. I 100% agree to Eternity that he has given me all the emotional and physical satisfaction that I waited for my life sincerely and he still says I am the one for him and that I am his soulmate for the rest of his life. Since we live in an LDR now as my Foreign country project work where he resides got over, he was asking my consent if it will be ok for him to physically explore around. It was shocking and indeed drove me crazy to even imagine about my boyfriend having an affair with someone. But again, I loved his Upright honesty which can be found only in a real men and considering his prior life, I told him its ok for him to explore around. To keep me at peace, I started doing meditation and we have now surpassed 4 months. He asked me to take advantage of this phase as well. I told him its not possible as I cannot change my views on monogamy as i am still living committed to him and our love knows it. Although we have surpassed four months, our mediums of contact has only been lessened yet we contact daily and exchange love between and we worry if their is no response from each other for more than a day. The big question now is that he is asking me if I can wait for another 4 years. I look back at these 3 -4 months that I have been through. It was a Roller coaster emotional ride especially when I didn't ever think once to break my commitment to him but to live with his thoughts as I truly love him which he knows. I don't know what to tell him on this 4 year proposal. I want to tell him that If there is true love, it will allow us to meet and that I will probably meet him after 4 years(Gosh! Can you feel how deep is this feeling of hurt where I really love him and think I don't want any other in my life yet have fears if i will hate him)

    He says about me that he met the right person, but at the wrong time. He feels he needs this exploration period otherwise he might become too much of a pressure cooker after marriage if this period is denied. I understand it even now.

    Yet It is confusing to me if I am doing the right thing or was I the one to blame to have woken up a sleeping lion or is my kind heart being taken for a ride or is this the right thing that I am doing to help the love of my life.

    Excerpts from his today's mail "I want to re-assure you that there is no one else in my heart, and that I want to continue with the plans we discussed many times before of marrying and settling down with our beautiful family.....I want to live my life with you and die close to you. You are such a sweetheart baby, and I love you and want to spend a great life with you....Sending my sincere love to you....Venky, I want to sacrifice my viewpoint on sex for the rest of my live, starting after our beautiful marriage. I want to be the Avril Lavigne( as in "What the Hell" music album) who one day puts aside her views and settles down with a sweetheart.Love you"

    I don't know what to do! RJ please help me! My tears have gone dried as I thought I have the endearing love finally in my life and I cannot let that go yet I don't know what to do. I love him dearly.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2013 2:28 PM GMT
    NO NO NO No NO!!
    This is not right!

    This is not a fair arrangement..This is not symbiotic..this is not a relationship.

    Relationships start with.."Here and now"..THEN you roll with the punches in time.. TOGETHER!

    You two want completely different things.

    What now?

    Put your life on hold for 4 Years??
    He wants to go get his dick wet while you sit and meditate??

    COME ON!!

    This is the foundation of a terrible obsession gone wrong!!

    This is not what you NEED!
    HE is not what you NEED!

    Is he aware of the awful discomfort he is causing you?
    Are you aware of the ridiculous circumstances you are agreeing to??

    This is not the man for you!
    He is unstable and unhealthy!

    ..GET OUT NOW !!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 21, 2013 3:47 PM GMT
    You are NOT to blame.

    Please consider what Anocxu has told you.


    Posts: 1324

    Jul 23, 2013 3:36 AM GMT
    My dear Venky it is so nice to hear from you! sweetie please please don't even consider this arrangement! if this man truly loves you he would not force you to change the person that you already are happy and comfortable at being! this guy is obviously a player, dump him without giving it a second thought! you are ten times a better human being and a better man, to change for someone who obviously does not fully appreciate and respect your own sets of values and morals; these qualities being the core of your true self.

    Venky love is not about someone telling you they love you, or even showing it they do! when someone loves you they must respect and appreciate the person that you are before they met you! I hope you are doing well my dear and endearing friend! Hugs