onejock saidI'm finding that it's very random. Guys in their 20s who feel they're more mature than their peers want to date someone older, because they feel they relate better. While that can be true, those relationships seem to have a limited shelf life. Guys in their 30s don't seem all that interested in dating guys in their 40s.
To those of you over 40 who are married or partnered, how did you meet?
To those of you in your 40s who are single or dating, what's your experience dating like these days?
My theory of sex and gay aging:
When younger you play with everyone because you're exploring yourself and it's fun.
By late 20s/30s and into your 40s, you've settled into "what you like" and you don't play much outside that range.
Then come the 50s, looking towards your 60s-80s. Here's where gay gets tricky. Too much older than the 20s yet still sort of close to the mid 30s-40s but they're not interested in the 50s, out of their range. So all you've got are the 40s who are not still in denial, the 50s who are sadly chasing after the 20s or the 60s on up who you never fantasized before but who you'll be in another 10-20 years.
This is when you wish to God that your partner hadn't died and left you to this mess. You took my best years and then abandoned life you douchebag you. Mourning's medicine is bitter.
So if you're smart, or desperate, either one works, you start experimenting again like you did in your 20s. Only before you were learning about yourself, now you get to learn even more about yourself but also I think you learn more about the other guys too.
It's an interesting process, this expanding of horizons, and I've been putting myself to it with those who I hadn't played with in the past, specifically to widen my range as the field naturally narrows. It's either that or with every year you increase your odds of winding up alone and I don't want that. I want to love again.
So it doesn't matter how you meet someone. I met my first 2-year guy in a gay bar and then my great love and I were introduced by our parents. Buried him 10 years later. Then it took me about 3 years to open up again. Met another widow online. We had 10 years together before I buried him too. It has taking me a little longer to get my shit together this time around, but I'm working on it.
So it's not the meeting of people, you do that anywhere. It's opening yourself up to see people so that you can meet them.