Does this make me a bad person?

  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Jul 22, 2013 10:38 AM GMT
    Wanting a guy to break up with his bf cuz I like him icon_razz.gif
    I would never interfere of course, but haven't you talked to a guy you like and get along with but the only thing in the way is that bf icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jul 22, 2013 11:18 AM GMT
    Home wreckericon_lol.gif
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    Jul 22, 2013 11:50 AM GMT
    Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone with a proven willingness to dump a bf for some new flavor of the month?
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    Jul 22, 2013 11:59 AM GMT
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    Jul 22, 2013 12:29 PM GMT
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  • ASHDOD

    Posts: 1057

    Jul 22, 2013 2:44 PM GMT
    only human
  • secondstartot...

    Posts: 1314

    Jul 22, 2013 2:53 PM GMT
    its only normal...its bad if you knowingly try to destroy somones relationship...at least one person is sure to get hurt and deliberately causing hurt I think is badicon_twisted.gif

    on that note I work with a really really studly hunk of a man and I openly refer to his wife as "The Competition" ...
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    Jul 22, 2013 2:58 PM GMT
    Well kind of. but u only looking out for number one, which is yourself, sometimes u need to be aggressive with what u want. Good luck
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 22, 2013 3:07 PM GMT
    I think the answer is based on what kind of a relationship he has with his bf. If it isn't solid or exclusive or stable, that's one thing.... if the guy and his bf are happy and you just want to "horn in".. go somewhere else.

    So, no it doesn't make you a bad person, not at all, especially if you handle it correctly and put someone elses interests ahead of your own. icon_idea.gif
  • Aodhan

    Posts: 3828

    Jul 22, 2013 3:46 PM GMT
    you're not a bad person, its human nature to get a bit jealous every once and a while ..

    Just don't do anything you'll regret icon_cool.gif
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    Jul 22, 2013 6:37 PM GMT
    It's the same thing as saying you wish this one guy wasn't moving away so you could be together. As long as you respect the unfortunate circumstances you're fine.

    Just PLEASE no jealous, passive aggressive bullshit whenever you're around the bf. Hate jealous people.
  • swimmerdude52...

    Posts: 119

    Jul 22, 2013 6:46 PM GMT
    yes.....it makes you a bad person
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    Jul 22, 2013 6:57 PM GMT
    No, it doesn't make you a bad person.

    What's their relationship like? How long have they been together? How good are you at subtle flirtation? It doesn't hurt to do a little reconnaisance. Who knows, he may be with him out of habit, out of not wanting to be alone, for any number of reasons. We are ALL someones ex or on the way to becoming one.

    I'm not advocating sabotaging their relationship. I'm just saying you should do some investigating if you are that interested, that's all.

    I also don't advocate you proceed any further just based on "like" of him. You should be obsessed with him. I mean rabbit-on-the-stove obsessed with him.
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    Jul 22, 2013 10:16 PM GMT
    If you are wanting a relationship to end just because you want the person involved then just being honest but that is NOT a nice thing to want or think about.
    I'm sure if you were on the other end of the spectrum you wouldn't feel comfortable knowing there was someone who wants you to break up because they want your partner.

    Not to be cliche but this really comes down to treating people the way you want to be treated, and I think that includes your intentions as well.

    Contrary to the advice some have posted here, I would NOT investigate or get involved in any way in someone else's relationship.
    I don't see how that benefits anybody in this situation and it may only cause you to become obsessed and ruin a relationship and friendship too. If you were to do this, could you honestly look yourself in the eye and say to yourself that you're a nice person?
    I mean if you have to ask if it makes you a bad person, I think internally you already know the answer.
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    Jul 22, 2013 10:55 PM GMT
    Not really, humanity comes with a natural selfishness that manifests itself in everyone at some point.
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    Jul 22, 2013 11:10 PM GMT
    Secretly desiring/wishing something and acting to make something happen are two completely different things. The former is harmless, while the latter would make you 'a bad person'.
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Jul 22, 2013 11:14 PM GMT
    Let me make it clear, I wouldn't want their relationship to end BECAUSE of me. Like he wouldd't end it to be with me type situation. I just secretly wish something will happen or they grow apart. icon_razz.gif
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    Jul 22, 2013 11:15 PM GMT
    There's nothing wrong with wanting to be with an attached guy, as long as you don't, as you say, "interfere."

    Think of it this way. You'll appreciate him more, if for whatever reason, they do break up and you two get together. You'll be able to enjoy your time with him guilt free.
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    Jul 22, 2013 11:18 PM GMT
    getthecomputersputin saidit's one thing to fantasize, that's all good but if you actually act out on it then yes, it does.


    +1

    And --- if you want to go the extra step of being a good person (not just not a bad person) focus your energies out into the universe on behalf of the two of them finding happiness in.their relationship. And I hope you find happiness.as well in a way that doesn't hurt others.
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    Jul 22, 2013 11:22 PM GMT
    Phillips_73 saidThere's nothing wrong with wanting to be with an attached guy, as long as you don't, as you say, "interfere."

    Think of it this way. You'll appreciate him more, if for whatever reason, they do break up and you two get together. You'll be able to enjoy your time with him guilt free.



    +1 on this as well
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    Jul 23, 2013 12:38 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    (1) Who knows, he may be with him out of habit, out of not wanting to be alone, for any number of reasons. We are ALL someones ex or on the way to becoming one.
    ...
    (2) I also don't advocate you proceed any further just based on "like" of him. You should be obsessed with him. I mean rabbit-on-the-stove obsessed with him.


    Re (1): If every bf is on the way to becoming an ex, why bother? If this is your worldview then every relationship is just an extended hookup.

    and (2) Don't kill poor bunny for someone who's just a future ex.
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    Jul 23, 2013 12:41 AM GMT
    Joeyphx444 saidLet me make it clear, I wouldn't want their relationship to end BECAUSE of me. Like he wouldd't end it to be with me type situation. I just secretly wish something will happen or they grow apart. icon_razz.gif


    Oh yeah.. That's so much more virtuous than your opening post!

    ..What they have should inspire you to go out and get your own!