I fall in love too quickly.

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    Jul 24, 2013 1:41 AM GMT
    Backstory: Dated my first boyfriend who was 2x my age. He lived in Las Vegas and I lived in Alabama. Was my first everything and ended up having to end it due to distance circumstances among other things.

    A month later I decided to go to Gay Days at Disney. Ended up getting cat fished but met an amazing guy instead, and became friends with his group of friends! Had the time of my life.

    A month later I flew to Chicago to visit him at his home. Had a blast!

    3 weeks later he's been staying at my house here in Alabama for vacation. He's 40 and I'm 20... so I thought things would be awkward between my friends and family, but they absolutely loved him. In fact, EVERYONE loved him here. My mom and her boyfriend cried this morning when they seen him go back home to Chicago.

    The fact is: I cried too. I mean, fuck! I like people way too quickly, and I was holding my guard up a lot. The fact that he could stay at my house, visit my work, and we could just be ourselves while everyone accepting us was... wow. It was just too amazing for words. It just makes me extremely happy to be alive and be who I am! :-)

    Anyway, ranting I guess. I still don't think we have a label of what we are, but I know who we want to be. We want to be official, but the distance is a bummer (9 hours from here). Part of me wants to move away there to escape this town, but the other part of me realizes that I fall in love way too quickly, and it's going to be my downfall a lot.

    Can anyone else relate?

    Much love,

    Josh
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    Jul 24, 2013 2:17 AM GMT
    That is really awesome that your boyfriend really hit it off with your family and friends! It sounds like you both have natural chemistry and that your loved ones have noticed it as well.

    Wow, that's really crazy how you met - what might have started out seeming like a major disappointment (with the previous guy) ended up giving you an opportunity to meet your current man. So cool how that turned out! I remember reading about the Disney trip in another thread a while back.

    Best of luck with the new guy! The distance thing might be an obstacle, but it sounds like so far you are doing well with it. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jul 24, 2013 2:20 AM GMT
    I'm happy for you!
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    Jul 24, 2013 2:23 AM GMT
    At your age you probably think you are going to fall in love many more times in your life. Unfortunately that is (probably) not so. Really clicking with somebody is rather rare. So if you guys really love each other, see what you can do to keep it alive. There are no guarantees that you two will live happily ever after, relationships are work and you have to be compatible in real life as well. Only being in love isn't the whole ticket to eternal bliss.

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    Jul 24, 2013 2:24 AM GMT
    im jealous its a good thing
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    Jul 24, 2013 2:36 AM GMT
    Idn't Grand?

    Big Hugs.

    I don't know Josh
    seams like a no brainier to me.

    maybe you could explane again the pros of staying in Alabama.

    Pretty sure I'd be on the next Gray Hound, If I only Liked the guy.
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    Jul 24, 2013 2:48 AM GMT
    I remember young love. It is so powerful that it overwhelms. It never feels like that again. My later loves felt different. But I'm not sure if young love is real. Maybe it becomes real if it lasts. I can remember feeling that overwhelming love for a guy back then, I guess I was around 19. We were only together my summer out of school. When I think back, I have no idea why I felt that way and even though I also cried when we parted company, I have zero feelings for him today.

    Yet I also had more mature loves later on, not so powerful, strong but not overwhelming. All these years later, I still love them. I know why I felt as I did.

    Enjoy it but be a little careful of your heart when you're young. A heart will fool even an old fool who should know better.
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    Jul 24, 2013 2:53 AM GMT
    Ahh you guys know exactly what to say. Tons of wisdom in RJ as usual :-)

    dustin_K_tx saidIdn't Grand?

    Big Hugs.

    I don't know Josh
    seams like a no brainier to me.

    maybe you could explane again the pros of staying in Alabama.

    Pretty sure I'd be on the next Gray Hound, If I only Liked the guy.


    I keep asking myself that as well, Dustin! I guess it just reached the point of my last boyfriend that I either moved away with him or we broke up. I had no other choice and it hurt. I kinda feel the same way now I guess, although it's not being pressured on me in any way.

    theantijock saidI remember young love. It is so powerful that it overwhelms. It never feels like that again. My later loves felt different. But I'm not sure if young love is real. Maybe it becomes real if it lasts. I can remember feeling that overwhelming love for a guy back then, I guess I was around 19. We were only together my summer out of school. When I think back, I have no idea why I felt that way and even though I also cried when we parted company, I have zero feelings for him today.

    Yet I also had more mature loves later on, not so powerful, strong but not overwhelming. All these years later, I still love them. I know why I felt as I did.

    Enjoy it but be a little careful of your heart when you're young. A heart will fool even an old fool who should know better.


    Well put! I'm trying to find the balance between being in love and just... lust I guess.
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    Jul 24, 2013 3:05 AM GMT
    JumpMan_Josh saidWell put! I'm trying to find the balance between being in love and just... lust I guess.


    I always sort of thought of "in love" as love+lust.

    My first 10-year guy was totally in love. My 2nd 10-year guy was a great love and he loved me too but we were both widowed at about the same time and both still in love with our dead. Sick, I know. But we were comfortable with that. It felt quite natural at the time.

    They were good relationships. I'd take either one of them back.

    Ultimately you probably don't have a whole lot of say over who your heart might want. It's got a mind of its own. It will still fuck you up but at least it's smarter than a penis.
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    Jul 24, 2013 3:06 AM GMT
    theantijock saidEnjoy it but be a little careful of your heart when you're young. A heart will fool even an old fool who should know better.

    ^^^^This. In two months' time (if I'm reading your dates correctly), one barely scratches the surface of really getting to know another person. This is true for everyone, regardless of age, but maybe even more so when you're at the very beginning of your adult life. Just be as careful as you can, and try not to dive into the deep end of the pool when you're just learning how to swim. icon_smile.gif
  • MikeW

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    Jul 24, 2013 3:08 AM GMT
    Hey, JumpMan_J, wow! Totally awesome icon_smile.gif I'm very happy for you (and a bit envious of course icon_redface.gif ) but I don't think you fall 'too easily' at all. Besides, like someone said, these things are special and may not come along too often. Go for it. Live it. Let yourself have it!

    No matter how it turns out down the road, these experiences are what shape us and make us who we are, especially if we embrace them for what they are. Everyone we love becomes a part of us no matter what happens or how it works out. "In the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make."

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    Jul 24, 2013 3:10 AM GMT
    MovingRightAlong said
    theantijock saidEnjoy it but be a little careful of your heart when you're young. A heart will fool even an old fool who should know better.

    ^^^^This. In two months' time (if I'm reading your dates correctly), one barely scratches the surface of really getting to know another person. This is true for everyone, regardless of age, but maybe even more so when you're at the very beginning of your adult life. Just be as careful as you can, and try not to dive into the deep end of the pool when you're just learning how to swim. icon_smile.gif


    That's the line you're pointing to? I liked my smarter than a penis line.

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    Jul 24, 2013 3:21 AM GMT
    theantijock said[Your heart] will still fuck you up but at least it's smarter than a penis.

    ^^^This.
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    Jul 24, 2013 3:25 AM GMT
    lololol. I'm glad I sent you that cash earlier. You are a man of your word.
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    Jul 24, 2013 3:27 AM GMT
    It's tough to say no to a man with a heart on.
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    Jul 24, 2013 3:32 AM GMT
    MovingRightAlong said In two months' time (if I'm reading your dates correctly), one barely scratches the surface of really getting to know another person. This is true for everyone, regardless of age, but maybe even more so when you're at the very beginning of your adult life. Just be as careful as you can, and try not to dive into the deep end of the pool when you're just learning how to swim. icon_smile.gif


    Though to that, I've mentioned numerous times how I've been fucked by people I thought I knew but never knew how low they could stoop. I've had people in my life for five years, 20 years, 50 years who fucked me over completely.

    So what's the difference with taking a chance on the betrayal of someone you trust or being betrayed by your heart?
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    Jul 24, 2013 3:34 AM GMT
    MovingRightAlong saidIt's tough to say no to a man with a heart on.


    I used my bedazzler. Thank you for noticing.

    21.jpg

    (Oh, and sorry for crashing your thread, Josh)
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    Jul 24, 2013 3:42 AM GMT
    theantijock saidSo what's the difference with taking a chance on the betrayal of someone you trust or being betrayed by your heart?

    Hmm... No easy (or definitive) answer to that one, is there? Indeed, some lessons (most? all?) can only be learned as a result of direct experience.

    I do offer props to Josh for seeking other perspectives on his situation. Whether they influence his choices or not, that's still a wise thing to do.

    theantijock said(Oh, and sorry for crashing your thread, Josh)

    Yes, see how I shifted the focus away from TAJ's and my threadjacking and back to the OP? icon_smile.gif
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    Jul 24, 2013 3:57 AM GMT
    MovingRightAlong said
    theantijock saidSo what's the difference with taking a chance on the betrayal of someone you trust or being betrayed by your heart?

    Hmm... No easy (or definitive) answer to that one, is there? Indeed, some lessons (most? all?) can only be learned as a result of direct experience.

    I do offer props to Josh for seeking other perspectives on his situation. Whether they influence his choices or not, that's still a wise thing to do.

    theantijock said(Oh, and sorry for crashing your thread, Josh)

    Yes, see how I shifted the focus away from TAJ's and my threadjacking and back to the OP? icon_smile.gif


    Yep, if it wasn't for a lifetime of making mistakes, I'd mistakenly think I still know things. Fortunately, I prefer questions over answers anyway.

    I have more questions.

    So Josh, when are you going to introduce your new man to everyone on the internet? And he thought meeting your family was going to be rough.
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    Jul 24, 2013 4:02 AM GMT
    Sounds like you have a great group of friends and family around that support you and want you to be happy, which is awesome!

    I never understand why jumping into the "fallen" category occurs so fast for a lot of people but everyone's different. I feel most relationships begin with an initial infatuation, but time plays it's role in whether that will develop into something more substantial, such as love.

    I would give it a little time and even though it's not the most convenient, and in your gut it's not what you'll want; ultimately you both have two separate lives. As you become closer maybe you'll both find yourselves in a position that works for both of you and allows you to be together.

    Best of luck to you, as it sounds like he makes you very happy, but don't lose sight of yourself along the way. Love is tough; Life is harder, but they've got to work together to be successful.

    icon_cool.gif Cheers!
  • MikeW

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    Jul 24, 2013 4:04 AM GMT
    zen52 saidLove is tough; Life is harder, but they've got to work together to be successful.

    Well put.
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    Jul 24, 2013 4:32 AM GMT
    Wow, I can't believe I was totally flirting with you and thought it meant something.
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    Jul 24, 2013 5:20 AM GMT
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    Jul 24, 2013 6:13 AM GMT
    Just remember that there's more to you than the guy you love, and that each part of you requires consideration.

    - education
    - career
    - family
    - friends
    - dreams
    - hobbies

    I can name more, but I think you get the point. Where you heart goes your mind and body should follow. At least that way if things go south you're not stranded in a town where you don't know anyone, have a shit job, and no real plans for the future.
  • CityofDreams

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    Jul 24, 2013 6:20 AM GMT
    bhp91126 saidAt your age you probably think you are going to fall in love many more times in your life. Unfortunately that is (probably) not so. Really clicking with somebody is rather rare. So if you guys really love each other, see what you can do to keep it alive. There are no guarantees that you two will live happily ever after, relationships are work and you have to be compatible in real life as well. Only being in love isn't the whole ticket to eternal bliss.



    Not true. I have fallen in love thousands of times! In fact, I fell in love three times today - all before supper! I say you end this nonsense and marry the bastard. I'll be a guest at this very highbrow ceremony, nothing is more exquisite than attending a wedding knowing that it will end in hatred and divorce!

    In all honesty, you have already dipped your toes in water, so the initial step has already been completed. Take it slow, let the relationship develop. Enjoy! ;)