2 questions about selecting guys to ask out on a date...

  • WhoDey

    Posts: 561

    Jul 24, 2013 8:45 AM GMT
    1. Would you ask someone out if you liked him, but you really don't like his friends?

    2. How important are other people's opinions in selecting someone to ask out? For instance, if you mention someone and you hear someone say "He is a bit of an ass." How much influence would that have on whether you ask someone out?

    (Note: these are two completely separate questions/situations)
  • WhoDey

    Posts: 561

    Jul 24, 2013 12:11 PM GMT
    bump
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 24, 2013 12:26 PM GMT
    WhoDey said1. Would you ask someone out if you liked him, but you really don't like his friends?

    2. How important are other people's opinions in selecting someone to ask out? For instance, if you mention someone and you hear someone say "He is a bit of an ass." How much influence would that have on whether you ask someone out?

    (Note: these are two completely separate questions/situations)


    1. Why wouldn't I, it's not like I'm dating his friends..

    2. I will ask questions why he/she thinks that to see if it's just a personal opinion or a known fact.. But most of the time if I like someone, I don't listen much to others opinion. icon_smile.gif


  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 24, 2013 12:31 PM GMT
    I think I trust my own thoughts, ideas and concerns enough that I tend to place more value on what I think.. after all, it is my life isn't it?

    Sure I value my friends opinions, but I don't live for my friends.. I live for me. I'd give the guy a chance until he proves to you that he shouldn't.
  • in_this_corne...

    Posts: 704

    Jul 24, 2013 2:18 PM GMT
    1) Yes.
    2) Not important.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 24, 2013 2:23 PM GMT
    1) If you don't like his friends, chances are good there's something about him you won't like too. Friends tend to be very similar, and do tend to share a similar intellectual and moral horizon.

    2) I would trust your good friends about someone, and by a "good friend", I mean someone who is loyal to you. I would not trust friendly acquaintances. Good friends are good guides, so listen to them, as hard as that might be when you've grown enchanted by a certain guy.
  • madsexy

    Posts: 4843

    Jul 24, 2013 2:28 PM GMT
    KJSharp said1) If you don't like his friends, chances are good there's something about him you won't like too. Friends tend to be very similar, and do tend to share a similar intellectual and moral horizon.

    2) I would trust your good friends about someone, and by a "good friend", I mean someone who is loyal to you. I would not trust friendly acquaintances. Good friends are good guides, so listen to them, as hard as that might be when you've grown enchanted by a certain guy.

    I would agree with this . . . but I'd combine it with my own experience. Go out with him once (if he accepts your invitation), then take it all into consideration (and stay objective - just because he's a great lay you might want to forget the negative indicators - DON'T).
  • Ethrim

    Posts: 44

    Jul 24, 2013 2:38 PM GMT
    Amen to KJSharp.
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    Jul 24, 2013 3:46 PM GMT
    Aristoshark said1. Perhaps his friends are not as bad as I think. I'll reserve judgement.

    2. I'll form my own opinion, thanks. All of us have been asses at one time or another.


    Yep.
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    Jul 24, 2013 7:23 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    Aristoshark said1. Perhaps his friends are not as bad as I think. I'll reserve judgement.

    2. I'll form my own opinion, thanks. All of us have been asses at one time or another.


    Yep.
    ditto.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 24, 2013 8:00 PM GMT
    I would be cautious of someone with friends that I don't like but also keep in mind that we can misinterpret things very easily.

    Ultimately, if you want to be seen & treated as an individual then I would do the same for others. Ask him out, don't be deterrd by your friends or his friends. Give him a chance
  • Montague

    Posts: 5205

    Jul 24, 2013 8:13 PM GMT
    Just has to be hot. Nothing else matters you know.
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    Jul 24, 2013 8:30 PM GMT
    Winter saidJust has to be hot. Nothing else matters you know.


    Don't go out with someone just because he's hot. It's not fair to him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 24, 2013 8:46 PM GMT
    1. You're not dating his friends. Don't let that be a determining factor. Maybe once you get to know them, you'll like them better, or at least like them enough to not mind them too much.

    2. Not very. Try it and see how you feel, and if you're not into him, move on.
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    Jul 24, 2013 10:33 PM GMT
    1/ Yes, I'd ask him out.

    2/ Yes, I'd ignore the friends and decide for myself.

    I would ask a guy out if I like him. I am not dating his friends. There are circumstances that you don't know and shouldn't make a judgment call about. If his friends are bad-mouthing him behind his back, I'd be wary at his friends for talking shit, I'll form my own opinions on the guy ! The key is to take things slow.



  • Ethrim

    Posts: 44

    Jul 27, 2013 3:51 AM GMT
    One of my ex's had absolutely horrible friends, and the first few dates, he was nothing like them. Once the...initial feelings subsided, I saw why they were his friends.
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    Jul 27, 2013 9:09 PM GMT
    Ethrim saidOne of my ex's had absolutely horrible friends, and the first few dates, he was nothing like them. Once the...initial feelings subsided, I saw why they were his friends.


    Bird of a feather flock together.
    Also, where there's smoke there's fire.

    One person's opinion about another person doesn't matter to me, but two makes a huge difference.