hockeytiger saidDad passed away when I was quite young. Mom took it well. Granted, my younger brother had come out to her about a year earlier. (Though I'm bi.)She gave me the same speech she gave him. "As long as you are OK with it, so am I. But the same rules apply to you as your younger brother. If you don't think you can bring him home for Thanksgiving dinner, then don't bring him to your bed either."
AWW! I like that last line!
I had to do it over the phone, being on different sides of the country at the time. I was 21, had surgery two weeks prior so I was in some pain, was crushing on a guy, and just plain tired and had finally accepted myself. I called my mother, knowing that I would say it at some point, but didn't think that was the time. She brought up my female best-friend at the time, asking if we were dating. I was frustrated that she thought that, and just said it: "Mother, you know the answer to that. I'm gay." She paused, cried, and said, "Yes I had an idea."
She started to bring up past friends, curious if I dated them. None of them I had dated. She started guilt tripping me about not telling her earlier, telling me about dreams she had of my grandmother telling her I was gay [grandma knew when I was 8] and dreams that I was burning in hell, and then came the irony that would make this quite interesting for my younger brother.
The weekend before, my brother had gone to a party at a friends house. When someone mentioned something about "fags" another friend mentioned that I was gay. My brother was so offended that he went upstairs to his friend's room and got a bat. The next thing you know, he had gone downstairs and started to beat the guys who had discussed it. He was drunk, so he didn't do too much damage. In any case, he's probably the most supportive. He knows I'm not mentally ill, that i'm not going to hell, and that he doesn't want anyone taking advantage of how loving I am. He even asks about the guys I've dated and has wanted to meet them.
I still get e-mails and 2 o'clock in the morning phone calls from my mother and other family members informing me that I'm going to hell. It's sad really, because I've had to cut off my extended family to secure my own sanity. Overall, my own personal success and acceptance of myself are enough to override the difficulty of it. In general, I'm now 100% honest and as happy as can be about it all.