When you walk by a cute guy and he looks at you charmigful and you become a complete idiot that you cover your head down and don't look and them and walk by? Does that make me a coward? I'm super shy. :(

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    Jul 25, 2013 12:35 AM GMT
    Well I'm shy and I keep having some men looking at me but sometimes when I'm in a public place an I see them quite often down the hallway and sometimes they smile at me and I always...ALWaYs duck my head down and move straight foward. I don't get out much at all and I'm always afraid. Well I think it has to do with my father brutally beating me up and growing up without a father in my younger years that I'm terrified of men but I LIKE guys? icon_cry.gif

    Problem solved i need to fix my low self esteem.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jul 25, 2013 3:41 AM GMT
    So you are saying you put on the shy girl act

    shy_girl.jpg

    I realized this years ago and realized it could be a turn off and if you don't make eye contact, the possibility of a possible moment to meet a guy will be gone, so I make a conscious effort to look guys in the eye and smile back or acknowledge their gesture

    Think of it as a "hey bro" attitude/moment
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    Jul 25, 2013 3:44 AM GMT
    What a long title. icon_eek.gif
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    Jul 25, 2013 3:51 AM GMT
    Got to look at the guy, you never know if you might be missing a good opportunity.
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    Jul 25, 2013 4:06 AM GMT
    No, you are not being a coward. Sometimes I still do that to, but I have realized that nothing breaks the ice like looking a man in the eye and smiling while giving a greeting.
  • Montague

    Posts: 5205

    Jul 25, 2013 4:16 AM GMT
    Next time just say "sup bro." Always works.
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    Jul 25, 2013 4:38 AM GMT
    Winter saidNext time just say "sup bro." Always works.


    Sup bro…
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    Jul 25, 2013 4:43 AM GMT
    Wear one of these...

    tumblr_m7mqdjjH1F1rbf15go1_500.jpg
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Jul 25, 2013 5:11 AM GMT
    It doesn't make ya a coward...It does look like you have low self esteem..Stop flirting until you have a better sense of self and the self confidence to take it to a higher level.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jul 25, 2013 5:33 AM GMT
    It's no wonder men are looking at you icon_wink.gif but given your history its also no wonder you feel unsure or insecure about it.

    But first, welcome to RJ! I recommend that you hang around. Get to know some people here. It might help. It's sort of a combination shark pit, play ground, comedy central and group therapy session. We all have at least one thing in common even if we also have a thousand differences. Perhaps you'll make some on-line friends and that may help you feel more secure in yourself. Just don't beat yourself up about whatever is bothering you. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to other guys and there's nothing wrong with having a sense of self-preservation either. Getting to a place where you're comfortable with yourself is the aim. It may take time but you'll get there.
  • RJJB

    Posts: 34

    Jul 25, 2013 6:46 AM GMT
    GAMRican saidWear one of these...

    tumblr_m7mqdjjH1F1rbf15go1_500.jpg
    Oh MY! Does HE?
  • pandamarama

    Posts: 70

    Jul 25, 2013 6:53 AM GMT
    OMG I do the same thingicon_sad.gif When I was in university there was this guy I had a crush on, he would always look at me and smile but I kept looking away. After a while I think he just got annoyed and didn't bother anymore. That was five years ago. A month or so ago I ran into him again at a hot yoga class and history repeated its self. ugh I'm so awkward. So many missed opportunities.

    I think we do it cause we are just insecure, we are afraid that the other guy might not like us or that we might not be good enough for them.

    I read somewhere that if you practice looking,smiling and saying hi to strangers that you see daily (ie. cashiers, bus drivers etc.) it gives you some experience and make it easier to talk to people you have interest in. If I come across the web site again I'll pass it forward to you.
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    Jul 26, 2013 1:14 AM GMT
    But when you look at him and he smiles, and then you smile....it's a nice feeling.

    Try it. Don't be scared. You might like it.icon_wink.gif

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    Jul 26, 2013 1:18 AM GMT
    If it's only towards guys you find attractive yes, then it's most likely you are shy, but if it's towards any male, then the problem may lie in deeper roots. As for me I tend to just focus on where I'm walking, so I don't really make eye contact so I don't know who is eyeing me, or looking.
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    Jul 26, 2013 1:23 AM GMT
    GAMRican saidWear one of these...

    tumblr_m7mqdjjH1F1rbf15go1_500.jpg


    OH! my gosh! I had like the bigggest crush on him, EVER! and for him to wear that shirt is re-sparking my crush for him again. haha.
  • deep388

    Posts: 859

    Jul 26, 2013 1:27 AM GMT
    DOn't worry, you're not alone. I do think that what Mesmer said is right, if it is just guys that you are drawn to, then you're just shy. I am quite a confident person, but even the hottest guy staring or looking my way gets me all coy and shy.

    tumblr_lyofh9O9ck1qc6k0jo1_500.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2013 1:32 AM GMT
    A little confidence goes a long way. Force yourself to not look away.
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    Jul 26, 2013 1:47 AM GMT
    Nice guy answer:
    Being afraid isn't the problem. Letting only the fear dictate how you act is the problem. You had two sets of emotions in that situation with the guy... "fear of" AND "attraction to". If you acted on the fear even though the attraction was there, you can also act on the attraction even though the fear is there.

    "Courage isn't the absence of fear. It's the recognition that other things are MORE IMPORTANT than fear...."

    Blunt guy answer:
    Grow. A. Pair.
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    Jul 26, 2013 2:14 AM GMT
    Thank you all for your comments I will now close down this forum. I will try and use some of these but not all lol, shirt one is too cheesy.