Online/Mobile Dating: How Do You Greet Someone?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2013 9:40 AM GMT
    Quick survey time!

    How do you guys (or those of you who have pathetic social outlets like me and rely on dating apps/sites to meet other guys) start a conversation with someone who catches your eye?

    In my experience, I've had more success with a short, simple "How's it going?" rather than a "Hello there! I read your profile and it caught my eye because..." that online dating advice sites suggest. I avoid "What's up?" unless trying to start another conversation because there's a lot of stigma to it, and asking someone what they're doing when you never even said hello is slightly creepy. Meanwhile, blunt compliments like "You're very handsome" tend not to start a thoughtful conversation for me, even if I'm the recipient. As a result, "How's it going?" has become my go-to phrase.

    To be more specific, I'm mostly referring to a greeting in situations where you're not trying to instantly hook up. Dick pics work perfectly fine for that, in most cases.

    So what works best for you? What do you like to be asked or told?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 26, 2013 12:38 PM GMT
    Sup... n00dz?
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    Jul 26, 2013 12:39 PM GMT
    hi
  • IAmTheOneWhoK...

    Posts: 154

    Jul 26, 2013 12:42 PM GMT
    No offense to how you do it, but I get kind of bored of Hi's, Hello's, What's Up's, How's your night's after the 10,000 messages. I'll only respond to those if they dude's actually good looking and his looks make up for it. However, a few average looking guys have got my attention by actually using wit and incorporating something about my photo, profile, whatever to start a conversation. That's what I always do, and it works like a charm.

    Although if I wanna be lazy I just say corny crap like "Hey dude pretty sure I saw you last week" and he'll say "Oh, really? Where?" and I'll be like "In my dreams" and they'll laugh and then the flow starts. However, after talking to probably a few thousand dudes at this point, the texting getting to know you process just gets fucking boring to me, I've heard it all before, and the only time's it doesn't seem like a hassle at this point is if the guy's witty. So I prefer to get their number like within 20 minutes because you cannot gauge someone's personality over text most of the time, and it's much easier to act confident and social through your fingers than over the phone.
  • WhoDey

    Posts: 561

    Jul 26, 2013 12:46 PM GMT
    It doesn't matter what you say, people will respond if they think you're hot.
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    Jul 26, 2013 7:47 PM GMT
    WhoDey saidIt doesn't matter what you say, people will respond if they think you're hot.


    This. A Hi isn't a Hi. A Hi is "I'm interested, reply if you are as well".
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    Jul 26, 2013 7:50 PM GMT
    Lord_Trollileo saidI make a funny about something they said in their profile. Or something they're wearing. If they don't appreciate my sense of humor then obviously it wasn't meant to be.

    I like to say what would get my attention. Whenever someone asks "how's it going" I reply with "ok." If someone asks me "what's up" I say "not much." If someone asks "what are you up to" I say "nothing." Or I tell them I'm taking a shit.

    However, I'm getting really pissed off at guys who say they like playing tennis and I just want to play a few sets. Don't say you like playing tennis you clearly aren't looking for someone to play tennis with. Stupid cunts. I don't want to blow you. I want to play some goddamn tennis!
    Stop being awesome. I can't handle it.
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    Jul 26, 2013 8:24 PM GMT
    Good topic, I don't think it really matters what you say that much as long as you're respectful. It really depends on the profile of the guy and the photos. I admit, I ignored and just deleted emails and greetings from guys ranging from *hey sup, how's it going, to compliments...and long ass email...If I look at the profile and don't feel it, I'm not going to reply. I am sure other guys done it to me too if I'm not their type! Come to think of it, I just ignored emails and hellos from guys who have really bad Photo/profile pics (like 99%) of the time. I think my Ok cupid profile is like a red light now, very selective reply rate. Oh well.
  • madsexy

    Posts: 4843

    Jul 27, 2013 2:48 AM GMT
    TheQuest saidSup... n00dz?

    I'm SO hot for you!
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    Jul 27, 2013 3:16 AM GMT
    Hi, hello, sup, how's it going, how are you, and other cliche greetings don't do much for me. I tend to respond better/faster to guys that take the time to read my profile and form some type of conversational sentence based on that information.

    I'll chat with almost anyone. But if a guy initiates contact, I don't see why I have to get the conversation started and set it in motion.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 27, 2013 3:21 AM GMT
    Compliment the guy. Tell him why you are interested in meeting him.

    Btw you are fucking cute.
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    Jul 27, 2013 3:42 AM GMT
    Alpha13 saidComplement the guy. Tell him why you are interested in meeting him.

    Btw you are fucking cute.


    I see what you did there icon_biggrin.gif
  • mitshoo

    Posts: 76

    Jul 27, 2013 4:11 AM GMT
    To the OP: Yeah, short simple phrases are generally the way to go, though I actually like it when someone shows they read my profile. And I like to be asked interesting questions. However, I am fine with a "what's up?" because sometimes someone just wants to say "hi" but doesn't know what else to say to sound interesting. I am frequently that guy icon_sad.gif So I usually respond well to that.

    But sometimes you have people who explicitly tell you "I don't respond to "What's up?"s" on their profile. Those you have to get creative with. But I think it's a silly demand for the reason I just listed, with all due respect to what IAmTheOneWhoKnocks says.

    Also, THIS is a link to OkTrends, the blog of OkCupid. The particular post I linked talks about exactly this topic (title: Exactly What to Say in a First Message), and it tells you what sorts of messages are statistically more successful at getting responses than those that aren't. My summary:

    Rules:
    1. Avoid Netspeak
    2. Avoid Physical Compliments
    3. Use an Unusual Greeting
    4. Bring Up Specific Interests
    5. If you are a guy, be self-effacing
    6. Consider being an Atheist.

    The last one is tongue-in-cheek, but if you wonder how on earth they could say that, read the blog post yourself. It's fun.
  • Montague

    Posts: 5205

    Jul 27, 2013 4:13 AM GMT
    you tell them they'd look better with testes on their chin.
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    Jul 27, 2013 8:46 AM GMT
    WhoDey saidIt doesn't matter what you say, people will respond if they think you're hot.


    Yeah. That's more or less what I've decided is true. That's why I just stick with my generic "Hey. How's it going?" because it doesn't leave much room for me to immediately fuck up a first impression. It also seems to leave SOME availability for a conversation to progress, unless the response is "good" which I generally just assume means "not interested but I'm being polite by responding". My success rate with getting a reply is more or less all about my pictures, which I suck at taking, myself.

    Or maybe I suck at this. D:

    Alpha13 saidBtw you are fucking cute.


    Also thank you!

    giphy.gif
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    Jul 27, 2013 9:04 AM GMT
    i meet my ex on fb but we also get together in person and we study at the same university (so we kissed a couple of time lol)... and he was my hot boy-f... i'm not regret about anything... but i think that's pathetic have online relationships... never see that person in face to face... that sucks and is so stupid!
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    Jul 27, 2013 9:05 AM GMT
    Say something intelligent- in English! Here's the last message I received on Grindr(yes, I play around with it):

    "I got you now!lol was up"

    What the hell does that mean?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 27, 2013 9:16 AM GMT
    hahaa just be naturally... make that he feel comfortable with you...ask him things... talk about life, music, just random things hahaha, its like both know each other since forever, be a nice boy, don't be bored, just make some jokes and act ironically... never try so hard to look so interesting... be equitable, fair!


    But the most important... be yourself and don't be gross and effortless
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 27, 2013 9:24 AM GMT
    I hate this face icon_smile.gif and this icon_biggrin.gif hahaha

    actually those faces seem fake to me

    PD: Some people like me don't talk english so well because we're foreigner...
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    Jul 27, 2013 9:31 AM GMT
    Sungod17 saidSay something intelligent- in English! Here's the last message I received on Grindr(yes, I play around with it):

    "I got you now!lol was up"

    What the hell does that mean?


    Still better than me. At least it's not uninvited dick pics. This is the most action I've gotten from Grindr in the past 6 months:

    Screenshot1smudge_zps673807d7.png

    Screenshot2smudge_zps24c705b9.png

    Sure, I didn't want to stroke it, but using the smudge tool on his dick pics was probably the most fun I've had in awhile.
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    Jul 27, 2013 9:41 AM GMT
    amzaneok said
    Sungod17 saidSay something intelligent- in English! Here's the last message I received on Grindr(yes, I play around with it):

    "I got you now!lol was up"

    What the hell does that mean?


    Still better than me. At least it's not uninvited dick pics. This is the most action I've gotten from Grindr in the past 6 months:

    Screenshot1smudge_zps673807d7.png

    Screenshot2smudge_zps24c705b9.png

    Sure, I didn't want to stroke it, but using the smudge tool on his dick pics was probably the most fun I've had in awhile.


    The question here's... are u the blue or yellow? lol
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    Jul 27, 2013 9:46 AM GMT
    Trevormasterboy said
    amzaneok said
    Sungod17 saidSay something intelligent- in English! Here's the last message I received on Grindr(yes, I play around with it):

    "I got you now!lol was up"

    What the hell does that mean?


    Still better than me. At least it's not uninvited dick pics. This is the most action I've gotten from Grindr in the past 6 months:

    Screenshot1smudge_zps673807d7.png

    Screenshot2smudge_zps24c705b9.png

    Sure, I didn't want to stroke it, but using the smudge tool on his dick pics was probably the most fun I've had in awhile.


    The question here's... are u the blue or yellow? lol


    Yellow obviously. I have some manners and poise.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 27, 2013 9:50 AM GMT
    amzaneok said
    Trevormasterboy said
    amzaneok said
    Sungod17 saidSay something intelligent- in English! Here's the last message I received on Grindr(yes, I play around with it):

    "I got you now!lol was up"

    What the hell does that mean?


    Still better than me. At least it's not uninvited dick pics. This is the most action I've gotten from Grindr in the past 6 months:

    Screenshot1smudge_zps673807d7.png

    Screenshot2smudge_zps24c705b9.png

    Sure, I didn't want to stroke it, but using the smudge tool on his dick pics was probably the most fun I've had in awhile.


    The question here's... are u the blue or yellow? lol


    Yellow obviously. I have some manners and poise.


    I know it boy... i was being ironic, that's the key to a good empathy and conversation icon_wink.gif lol
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    Jul 27, 2013 10:55 AM GMT
    pf0081 saidI always get alot of these:
    1. Sup
    2. Wut up
    3. pic?
    4. ASL
    5. Looking?
    6. wut u into


    icon_rolleyes.gif


    Here in California it's 70% "hi", 20% "your [insert compliment]" (and basic, rudimentary grammar is soooo much to ask for these days icon_rolleyes.gif), 10% other. The 10% is usually "hola papi ^_^" though.
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    Jul 27, 2013 11:05 AM GMT
    pf0081 saidI get alot of "Hi"'s too, but then I say Hi back, and usually it ends there. Sometimes we'll make it to "How are you?", "Fine, how are you?". I think they just want to see if i'll respond or something. Or they're just weird. I don't get it.


    Same thing here. Guys just suddenly stop messaging back for unknown reasons. I wonder to myself, "Damn, I didn't think 'Good, and you?' was that clingy..."

    Sigh.