Bisexual down-low neighbor wants to hook up

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 27, 2013 6:55 PM GMT
    I discovered my neighbor through a certain gay social-networking app that uses GPS technology. He lives just around the corner, and he is attractive. He would like to come over to my place and fool around with me. He cannot host, because he has a girlfriend, and they live together. We have flirted and discussed meeting, but we haven't done it yet.

    He is in his 30s, too, like me. He's not a confused young guy who is just learning about his sexuality. I would not hope that he would become my boyfriend.

    What do you think? Should I avoid this situation like the plague, or should I hook up with him?
  • jo2hotbod

    Posts: 3603

    Jul 27, 2013 6:59 PM GMT
    He'll yah, grab the dude
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    Jul 27, 2013 7:33 PM GMT
    halfjock saidI discovered my neighbor through a certain gay social-networking app that uses GPS technology. He lives just around the corner, and he is attractive. He would like to come over to my place and fool around with me. He cannot host, because he has a girlfriend, and they live together. We have flirted and discussed meeting, but we haven't done it yet.

    He is in his 30s, too, like me. He's not a confused young guy who is just learning about his sexuality. I would not hope that he would become my boyfriend.

    What do you think? Should I avoid this situation like the plague, or should I hook up with him?

    Idiot. No. icon_rolleyes.gif

    Imagine you were his boyfriend and he was fooling around with the girl next door.
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    Jul 27, 2013 7:41 PM GMT
    Does his gf know, would be the most important question, and is she cool with it? What are the contours and boundaries of their relationship?
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    Jul 27, 2013 8:09 PM GMT
    makavelli saidDoes his gf know, would be the most important question, and is she cool with it? What are the contours and boundaries of their relationship?


    His girlfriend does not know. If she knew and was fine with it, then I would do it.

    He seems to categorize fooling around with another guy as "just fun," nothing serious. But I do not like the idea of doing something behind her back.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jul 27, 2013 8:14 PM GMT
    I say no, you don't need some screaming angry woman showing up at your house.
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    Jul 27, 2013 8:23 PM GMT
    Just my opinion, but that sounds like something you should say no to, he attached and that ought to be deal breaker. Avoid it like the plague, it's better in the long run.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3534

    Jul 27, 2013 10:38 PM GMT
    No gf permission, no sex.
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    Jul 28, 2013 12:35 PM GMT
    I beg to differ, fellas. It sounds like both are approaching this with eyes wide open. As gay icon Elizabeth Taylor said in response to being hated on for "stealing" Eddie Fisher from Debbie Reynolds: "He wouldn't have found me if he wasn't looking." The one guy knows the other guy is chasing male action on the side. If the gf isn't aware of this by now she will be soon enough. My sympathies to her for pairing off with a man who isn't faithful. But why is that the OP's problem?

    I've had the occasional hookup with a switch-hitter which ended up with the guy proposing a fuck buddy situation. That much I'm open to. But being on call as backup when the wife/gf is away, nothin' doin'. And that's what each of them were after. What was described in this thread doesn't equate to that, at least right now. If these two have a great time in the sack and the same conversation comes up? I'll leave it to the OP to decide if he's OK with playing second fiddle.
  • mindblank

    Posts: 275

    Jul 28, 2013 1:16 PM GMT
    The thing is, as long as you are not friendly with the girlfriend and don't know her, then you are not betraying her. Not only that, it seems like the guy is pursuing you so it's not as if you've deliberately gone out to homewreck. The other dude is betraying her, not you. So she has no right to go round screaming at you. If she ever found out it's her boyfriend that should/will get it in the neck.
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    Jul 28, 2013 2:19 PM GMT
    okonomiyaki saidI beg to differ, fellas. It sounds like both are approaching this with eyes wide open. As gay icon Elizabeth Taylor said in response to being hated on for "stealing" Eddie Fisher from Debbie Reynolds: "He wouldn't have found me if he wasn't looking." The one guy knows the other guy is chasing male action on the side. If the gf isn't aware of this by now she will be soon enough. My sympathies to her for pairing off with a man who isn't faithful. But why is that the OP's problem?

    I've had the occasional hookup with a switch-hitter which ended up with the guy proposing a fuck buddy situation. That much I'm open to. But being on call as backup when the wife/gf is away, nothin' doin'. And that's what each of them were after. What was described in this thread doesn't equate to that, at least right now. If these two have a great time in the sack and the same conversation comes up? I'll leave it to the OP to decide if he's OK with playing second fiddle.

    Besides the obvious? It's not about playing second fiddle - it's about not gettin sucked into this mans drama with his girlfriend. Honesty, it's just asking for trouble the OP doesn't need. It's rather insensitive not to think of his girlfriends feelings regardless if he knows her or not.

  • Just_Tim

    Posts: 1723

    Jul 28, 2013 4:38 PM GMT
    Don't you do it, young man! Despite how some people are trying to justify it, it would be dishonest. Whether you know the girl or not.
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    Jul 28, 2013 4:42 PM GMT
    Even if the guy is attractive just avoid the situation...where are your morals icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 28, 2013 4:59 PM GMT
    DO it!!

    If your'e in this deep after hearing he has a girlfriend..

    ..If you didn't feel an ounce of empathetic betrayal on his girlfriend's behalf..

    ..Wait?.. He and his GF lives around the corner?!!

    Be true to yourself!

    DO it!!

    Home Wrecker!

    Hugz icon_biggrin.gif

  • dabcrt

    Posts: 512

    Aug 08, 2013 12:23 AM GMT
    Hit it, Then quit iticon_twisted.gif