How should I respond to this?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 28, 2013 7:09 AM GMT
    I just recently came out of the closet, so I don't have a lot of experience with these things. But I just had my first experience with a guy and it was more awkward than I would like. Anyway...

    My friend had a party at his house the other night and invited friends over. He's gay and knows that I'm gay. He's not really my type, so I'm not interested in him. However, he's pretty fun to be around and I think of him as a cool friend. As the party was dying down, everybody started to go to their rooms. It was a big house, so it was two per room... and what do you now, I was paired with him.

    He was pretty drunk, but I didn't drink a lot because I had to wake up early the next morning so I still had my senses. We both jumped in bed and just talked like normal. I realize he was more touchy than usual, but I just played it off and thought nothing of it.

    I fell asleep, but then was awaken with my friend's arms around me. He was cuddling me while I was sleeping. He started rubbing his hand over my body and eventually reached down to my crotch and started giving me a handjob. He then grabbed my hand and slowly moved it to his crotch and I gave him a handjob as well.

    He was rock hard, but I was just limp the entire time. As I said before, he's not my type so it was hard to get a boner; I wasn't physically attracted to him. Not to mention that he's a guy who I thought was strictly a friend and nothing else. I never showed him any interest and he never flirted with me. I was surprised that he was interested in me since I didn't seem like his type.

    My mind was racing with thoughts. If I wasn't interested in him, why did I allow him to continue in the first place? I could have just told him to stop anytime. Part of me wanted to stop it but maybe part of me also wanted it to continue because this was my 'first time' with a guy which is pretty exciting. Anyway, I'm still confused and haven't figured it out myself yet.

    Eventually, it got so awkward because he was getting into it and I was barely getting hard. He finally got the picture and stopped. Both of us fell asleep and I just said 'bye' to him in the morning before leaving. Now I don't know how to confront him again. He was drunk, so should I pretend it didn't happened? I still wanna be his friend because he is pretty cool to hang out with, but I feel like this ruined our friendship.

    Anyway, thanks to whoever listened since I know this was a lengthy post.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jul 28, 2013 8:00 AM GMT
    I think you need to let him know that you just want to be friends and you were uncomfortable with there being more than that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 28, 2013 9:35 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidI think you need to let him know that you just want to be friends and you were uncomfortable with there being more than that.


    +1

    Nothing better than just being honest with your friend. If he avoids the subject and you two don't come to an understanding, then your friendship was never meant to be.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 28, 2013 11:36 AM GMT
    If you never led him on, why do you have to do anything?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Jul 28, 2013 4:03 PM GMT
    Laugh it off next time you see him. Just say "Man, we were pretty drunk the other night. We shouldn't have let our friendship go sexual. I'm not your type and you're not mine. But it was fun." Just don't blame him for anything and keep it light.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 28, 2013 4:07 PM GMT
    OMG sexual harassment panda!! icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 28, 2013 4:19 PM GMT
    You almost got to third base with a guy that you are not interested in??
    WTF?? icon_confused.gif
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Jul 28, 2013 4:23 PM GMT
    Don't make a big deal out of it. He let his dick do the thinking when he was drunk and you let yours go along with it kinda sorta for a while because you're inexperienced and curious. Seriously, no harm done. Just clean it up with your friend and let it go.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 28, 2013 9:15 PM GMT
    Thanks guys.

    I talked with some other friends that know him better, and apparently they told me that he gets horny easy and I shouldn't let it bother me. So maybe I'm making a big deal out of it for no reason. Anyhow, I'll talk with him about it next time I see him. He hangs out with the same group of friends that I do so it'll be hard to ignore what happened indefinitely anyway.
  • BillandChuck

    Posts: 2024

    Jul 28, 2013 9:24 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidLaugh it off next time you see him. Just say "Man, we were pretty drunk the other night. We shouldn't have let our friendship go sexual. I'm not your type and you're not mine. But it was fun." Just don't blame him for anything and keep it light.

    Great advice.