Femme. OK....but unwanted. Why?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 29, 2013 7:21 AM GMT
    Old topic, I know. Everyone writing about this accepts that being femme is OK and cool. I'm not judging...who knows me, give me a hand for a hard work on myselficon_biggrin.gif...but tell me one thing...why is so many of femme guys alone when they are so cool?...I know, I know. Not funny. But I just wanted to know Your answer for that...icon_biggrin.gif
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 29, 2013 7:38 AM GMT
    Arcturian saidOld topic, I know. Everyone writing about this accepts that being femme is OK and cool. I'm not judging...who knows me, give me a hand for a hard work on myselficon_biggrin.gif...but tell me one thing...why is so many of femme guys alone when they are so cool?...I know, I know. Not funny. But I just wanted to know Your answer for that...icon_biggrin.gif

    D'aaaaawww, thanks, girl.icon_cool.gif

    But yeah I do have a boyfriend.icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 29, 2013 7:45 AM GMT
    You're coolicon_biggrin.gif

    Show me 10 more and I reconsider icon_lol.gif
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    Jul 29, 2013 7:47 AM GMT
    Don't know...

    perhaps it's like many of us can differentiate right from wrong, but feels whatever we do is right, instead of looking into oneself and examining our actions not others.

    Perhaps from outside point of view, many of us think femme guys okay, but when it comes to personal level...it's not only different but also fails to notice it.
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    Jul 29, 2013 2:18 PM GMT
    Arcturian saidYou're coolicon_biggrin.gif

    Show me 10 more and I reconsider icon_lol.gif

    Reconsider what?
    Is this FEMMES ON TRIAL?
    Dont' be so judgmental.
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    Jul 29, 2013 3:44 PM GMT
    I'm not. But let s face it - for femme guys is much harder to find a partner. Not just sex, but partner. How many times they hear ,,You are beautiful person, but our hearts are not beating in the same rhythm...'' blah blah blah. It s just differently said ,,You're not sexy, my brain doesn't recognize You as male...I'm gay, do I want male...that's my nature...''

    Why?....I know the answer, but saying it would be...judgemental...:-D





    JohnSpotter said
    Arcturian saidYou're coolicon_biggrin.gif

    Show me 10 more and I reconsider icon_lol.gif

    Reconsider what?
    Is this FEMMES ON TRIAL?
    Dont' be so judgmental.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 29, 2013 5:31 PM GMT
    failscarf saidYou win so many respect points for this thread.
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/3302107/

    So, you respect the constant belittlement of fem guys???icon_confused.gif
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    Jul 29, 2013 5:39 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    failscarf saidYou win so many respect points for this thread.
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/3302107/

    So, you respect the constant belittlement of fem guys???icon_confused.gif

    That's what I was thinking.
    I really don't know whether to ignore these endless cheap shots certain members take at the group or post endless objections to their thinly veiled insults posed as forum topics.
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    Jul 29, 2013 5:40 PM GMT

    I think it is internalized homophobia. We are taught to hate ourselves (that is changing). We are taught that we have to be men and we are taught what a man must be like.

    I am not a femme, but I would call myself gentle at times, which is very different. (Some people would disagree that I am gentle).

    Most of the time when I read a guy's profile saying that he wants no femmes, I take it to mean 1 of 2 things:

    1) No screaming drama queens, which I would agree with.
    2) He has faced up to his external homophobia, but not his internalized homophobia.

    Not liking femininity is a very feminine trait - it is called being a bitch.

    Being attracted to masculinity is also a very feminine trait. That's a thought that may sit very uncomfortably with many REAL JOCKS.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jul 29, 2013 5:54 PM GMT
    for one reason only ... like generally attracts like (or we look for someone is most like us) with the exception of fem guys. Fem guys almost always never like other fem guys (sexually or for a bf).
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    Jul 29, 2013 5:54 PM GMT
    newacro said

    Being attracted to masculinity is also a very feminine trait. That's a thought that may sit very uncomfortably with many REAL JOCKS.


    Way to shame others for their internalized homophobia by reinforcing heteronormativity. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 29, 2013 6:19 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidfor one reason only ... like generally attracts like (or we look for someone is most like us) with the exception of fem guys. Fem guys almost always never like other fem guys (sexually or for a bf).

    Oh shut up, ya big queen.icon_lol.gificon_wink.gif
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 29, 2013 6:27 PM GMT
    Bromoflexual said
    newacro said

    Being attracted to masculinity is also a very feminine trait. That's a thought that may sit very uncomfortably with many REAL JOCKS.


    Way to shame others for their internalized homophobia by reinforcing heteronormativity. icon_rolleyes.gif

    He does seem to be shaming others, but there is nothing to be ashamed of. Studies show that based on pheromone attraction, gay men react to male pheromones the way women do, so we're likely to be turned on by masculine smells because we are wired similarly to females. Of course personality is a whole other thing. Much of the anti fem sentiment is a social construct. I mean, look at Mozart in his wigs and heels.icon_razz.gif
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jul 29, 2013 8:06 PM GMT
    failscarf saidIf this is true:
    AMoonHawk saidfor one reason only ... like generally attracts like (or we look for someone is most like us).


    Then how is this true?
    AMoonHawk saidfor one reason only ... like generally attracts like (or we look for someone is most like us) with the exception of fem guys. Fem guys almost always never like other fem guys (sexually or for a bf).



    icon_confused.gif

    It's a conundrum
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jul 29, 2013 8:11 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    AMoonHawk saidfor one reason only ... like generally attracts like (or we look for someone is most like us) with the exception of fem guys. Fem guys almost always never like other fem guys (sexually or for a bf).

    Oh shut up, ya big queen.icon_lol.gificon_wink.gif

    What?!!!! Why I oughta stomp you with my heels!
    tumblr_lw4066fOAp1qmkli8o1_1280.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 29, 2013 8:26 PM GMT
    GOD damn it I wanted Cha cha heels!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 29, 2013 8:49 PM GMT
    ????

    Why would I be attracted to a femme guy? I like men! If I liked femme guys I'd be with a woman.

    Why are they feminine? Are they aping women? A societal construct they have seen to "get their man" using their feminine wiles? I think we are a bit afraid of it actually. We see a bit of it in ourselves. Some of us went through a "Nellie" Period that "we" (OK I!) are somewhat embarrassed about now.

    The flip side, what about only dating dark hairy men with beards and muscles.....the "uber" males? Is that also a reaction? Are some of the muscle hunks shooting up testosterone to quell the little Nancy in their head?

    When I was in college at the U of M Minnesota, I was the "farm boy" and had some very flaming friends. Two were the Domino Twins......prone to wearing black/white scarfs, hats etc. One was a Top and had a big dick too! Richard was a very good friend, but zero attraction for me. My guess is he grew out of it after a few years. We are always trying out different "suits" to see where we fit. He's probably into leather drag now.
  • HottJoe

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    Jul 29, 2013 9:00 PM GMT
    unckabasa said????

    Why would I be attracted to a femme guy? I like men! If I liked femme guys I'd be with a woman.

    Why are they feminine? Are they aping women? A societal construct they have seen to "get their man" using their feminine wiles? I think we are a bit afraid of it actually. We see a bit of it in ourselves. Some of us went through a "Nellie" Period that "we" (OK I!) are somewhat embarrassed about now.

    The flip side, what about only dating dark hairy men with beards and muscles.....the "uber" males? Is that also a reaction? Are some of the muscle hunks shooting up testosterone to quell the little Nancy in their head?

    When I was in college at the U of M Minnesota, I was the "farm boy" and had some very flaming friends. Two were the Domino Twins......prone to wearing black/white scarfs, hats etc. One was a Top and had a big dick too! Richard was a very good friend, but zero attraction for me. My guess is he grew out of it after a few years. We are always trying out different "suits" to see where we fit. He's probably into leather drag now.

    Omg, I totally recognize you from Cafe Wyrd, like a million years ago... I think I was like 16 then.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 29, 2013 9:24 PM GMT
    I haven't lived in MN since 78. And there was a Cafe Wyrd....weird or wired?
  • HottJoe

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    Jul 29, 2013 9:48 PM GMT
    unckabasa saidI haven't lived in MN since 78. And there was a Cafe Wyrd....weird or wired?

    Oh really?! Lol, I guess I mistook you for someone else.
  • HottJoe

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    Jul 29, 2013 9:53 PM GMT
    aguyinbrist saidtumblr_ls4lanUmLV1qa5y2lo1_500.jpg

    I exclusively go, or rather, str8 blokeS looking like the two blokes from middle to right above always exclusively go for me in a club, as soon as girlfriend is away if she's in tow, or if they wandered in by themselves.
    If I chat up a bloke in the street or the gym OR super market, I don't tergiversate on whether he's gay or not; as long as he looks like the two above, he gets my attention.
    Point is, gay blokes want blokes, not something half woman. SIMPLE!

    I believe the two blokes above are the reason why fem boys are more a ons for someone discovering his sexuality or someone with a weird fetish rather than anything else really. If u r str8, u like women, if u r gay u like men. If a guy doesn't look like the two blokes above, then why wudju entertain him if he can't realise he's some oddity?

    I was playing a game with a female flat mate, and whenever a fit guy jogged passed our door, we'd decide whether fit or unfit. She immediately associated unfit skinny males wiv gay male, she subconsciously inferred it was ugly, something gay, something not manly, something she's not attracted to. Beware of your fag hags (she's a fag hag), they dont really like you.

    Gay men should be men, real men, eat their meat and exercise. If you are skinny, slim and dont look like the blokes above, go get uself a good sandwich and start lifting some heavy weights and swim from time to time, and watch blokes come after u like flies!

    What do muscles have to do with it?icon_neutral.gif
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    Jul 29, 2013 9:58 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    What do muscles have to do with it?icon_neutral.gif


    it shouldnt have anything to do with it, i remember one time i was shopping and the cashier was this big muscular guy, and then when he started talking he was very fem, even his hand movements. But it didnt matter to me, i still thought he was hot and wanted to jump on him !
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 29, 2013 9:59 PM GMT
    CopperDevil said
    HottJoe said
    What do muscles have to do with it?icon_neutral.gif


    it shouldnt have anything to do with it, i remember on time i was shopping and the cashier was this big muscular guy, and then when he started talking he was very fem, even his hand movements. But it didnt matter to me, i still thought he was hot and wanted to jump on him !

    I know! It all depends on the guy.icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2013 5:54 AM GMT
    i'm too masculine in person, my way to tall, act, actually anybody know about my sexual preferences hahaha but here i try to be some kind of delirious, bizarre, spiritual just like me but without any moralist... or yes but i don't care here icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2013 5:59 AM GMT
    I hate guys that act like women zsJwpdE.gif