"I was just trying to explain how all the anal and oral things they do are filthy and disgusting compared to our intercourse. But apparently my wife didn't appreciate hearing about bears and twinks while I was inside of her."
Hysterical . . . and just as easily could have been real given that idiot's views/rants against us. If I'd been writing it - and believe me I'm no writer much less a comedy writer - I'd have written that the added options for him with gay marriage now enabling his comparison of his wife and their sex to other potential men AND women led him to the decision after praying for guidance.