Gay B&B vs motel or hotel?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2013 2:32 AM GMT
    I recently read a forum discussion about the pros and cons of gay B&Bs vs motels or hotels. Several of the comments were 'I travel a lot and never stay in gay B&Bs' or 'its too much hassle to research these places when I can just go to Expedia or Booking.com and pick a cheap hotel'.

    I guess it comes down to the individual:

    Are you the sort of person who likes staying in a ritzy hotel rather than a 'home away from home' type atmosphere?

    Do you prefer a hotel room by yourself or yourselves without having to socialize with anyone if you don't want to, or are you a people person?

    Is the uncertainty of a B&Bs quality, cleanliness, or the hosts personality a too bigger issue to deal with, when you know a hotel room is going to meet the standard of a star rating that you choose?

    Some people say that B&Bs are more expensive than some hotels and motels. This maybe the case if you only factor in the room night, but part of a B&B is a good breakfast that is included in the price, which you either have to pay extra for in a hotel or you have to go to a cafe and spend upward of $20.

    The biggest problem with booking sites such as Expedia and Booking.com is they take a 15% commission from all room nights sold, and in some cases the B&B owner does not see the money until weeks later. When a B&B owner only has a couple of rooms, he still has to make a living. Its not like a motel or hotel with hundreds of rooms to let. Any B&Bs you do find on those sites have usually put their prices up to allow for the commission, so if you we're to find their official website you'd find the prices are 15% cheaper if you book direct.

    The benefit of a gay owned and hosted B&B is the fact you can have as much or as little interaction with the hosts as you like. Most people who choose a B&B like to sit and chat with their hosts, find out more about their culture and way of life - its information and socializing on a level a hotel receptionist simply cannot give.

    If you are travelling by yourself this gives you people to chat with, sit and relax, enjoy a spa together, or in some cases go for a drive around the local area - often because the hosts want to take you and show you things. You simply would not get that level of service from a motel or hotel.

    These days with the likes of TripAdvisor, the standards are usually very high, as every B&B owner is striving for good reviews and to outdo the competition, so in most cases you will have a good experience staying in a B&B.

    The other wonderful thing about staying in a gay B&B, and in my view the most important thing, is you can be yourself. You are free to chat about gay issues or gay life without feeling like you shouldn't be saying that so loud with so many heterosexuals around! From a comfort point of view your hosts won't mind if you walk around in your jocks, or shirtless or even naked - you cannot do that in the public areas of a motel or hotel! If you are lovebirds and want to hold hands, kiss, hug or anything else, that's no problem in a gay B&B. You would feel like people are watching you if you tried that in most motels or hotels, even in the most liberated cities.

    My view is that for a little bit of extra effort to do some Googling to seek out the true gay owned and hosted B&Bs is well worth the effort, and remember to book from their official website as it will be cheaper.

    Peter W
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    Jul 30, 2013 2:58 AM GMT
    I just stayed at The Tucker Inn in Provincetown this past week.

    Run by 2 gay men, this place was fantastic!
    The attention to detail and overall atmosphere there was unmatched by any straight run, or rather, mainstream B n B of its kind.

    The rooms where great, the products in the bathroom, well sorted out, the breakfast menu was varied and flexible. It was also pet-friendly, which was nice.

    I've stayed in the ritzy places elsewhere and it's all very hands off and sterile by comparison.

    I think it depends on why you're in the city or place you are, whether you're alone or not or what kind of experience you'd like to have?
    ...and who's paying, of course.
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    Jul 30, 2013 4:23 AM GMT
    Some people love B&Bs. Gay or straight, I'm not one of them, unless I'm going somewhere for a weekend with a few friends and we have claim on all or most of the rooms. At a B&B you're almost obligated to go down and have breakfast with people you may or may not know and be pleasant as you pass through the home and I'm not that social butterfly kind of person. I'd rather choose who I am going to hang out with. I'm cranky. I prefer a hotel.
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    Jul 30, 2013 5:25 AM GMT
    guysers saidOh, and anyone planning to holiday in New Zealand, the one-stop shop website of all the true gay owned and hosted B&Bs is www.gaystay.co.nz
    Its not a flashy website, but its functional!


    This is real close to spam and if you want your RJ visit to be real short-lived, this is a great way to do it.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Jul 30, 2013 5:43 AM GMT
    Agreed, this really is close to spam, but I would visit your place if I were in the area. The prices are pretty reasonable.
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    Jul 30, 2013 5:50 AM GMT
    Iceblink saidSome people love B&Bs. Gay or straight, I'm not one of them, unless I'm going somewhere for a weekend with a few friends and we have claim on all or most of the rooms. At a B&B you're almost obligated to go down and have breakfast with people you may or may not know and be pleasant as you pass through the home and I'm not that social butterfly kind of person. I'd rather choose who I am going to hang out with. I'm cranky. I prefer a hotel.


    I generally agree. I prefer a little more distance and anonymity than I would have in a B&B. I'm not at all cranky once I get that first cup of coffee in me and in fact am quite outgoing. A B&B would make me feel like I'm invading someone's home and a gay B&B would really make me uncomfortable. I'm not paying $200 + per night to be uncomfortable.

    Most of the travel I've done in the last couple of years has been to out-of-town collector car events. I generally stay in the host hotel and am out around with people talking all day so when I want to shut it off for a few hours for some rest, I really want to shut it off. A B&B is not the way for me to do it.

    Even for Dream Cruise week, I like to stay just a little ways away from Woodward so I can turn it off for a few hours. I generally stay at the Somerset in Troy off of Big Beaver. I can be back down to the action in five minutes or so and that's close enough.

    The closet I've come to enjoying something that's nearly a B&B is Monterey Week in Carmel for the Concourse D'elegance. Most of the those little motels are almost B&Bs. Old Carmel is within walking distance so that's fine.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2013 5:50 AM GMT
    Gay B+Bs are for well rounded or well behaved gays.
    The last time .. I showed up 3AM with half a football team..I got serious attitude!

    Never Again! icon_mad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2013 8:26 AM GMT
    For those of you that are poised at the ready to 'hit the spam button' for the mere mention of a website need to get a life. I have removed that post of good information, now the gay community are less informed about gay places to stay in New Zealand.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2013 8:44 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]freedomisntfree said[/cite]
    Iceblink saidI generally agree. I prefer a little more distance and anonymity than I would have in a B&B. I'm not at all cranky once I get that first cup of coffee in me and in fact am quite outgoing. A B&B would make me feel like I'm invading someone's home and a gay B&B would really make me uncomfortable. I'm not paying $200 + per night to be uncomfortable.


    I cannot speak for all B&Bs, but for us as B&B owners we understand when guests want space and we are there for them when they feel like conversation. We always tell our guests that they are welcome to sit with us in our lounge, but for those who don't, they stay in their room and use the room just as they would a hotel room (some even lock the door behind them and close the curtains the moment they enter, weird?). If we get vibes they want to be left alone (or if we ourselves want some space from the guests) then we have our own living quarters we can escape too. I don't think there would be too many B&Bs where you couldn't escape to your own space for a bit of privacy or time out.
    Our B&B is well under the $200 per night mark too!

    As for the comment about turning up at 3am with half the football team - I'd be pretty pissed too! I think a motel would be as well. We are providing a service of quality accommodation. All providers of accommodation are offering a service of a bed and sometimes a breakfast - no one, whether a motel or a B&B should be treated like a 24 hour drive through!
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    Jul 30, 2013 10:53 AM GMT
    Guysers, I always was concerned like how do I have sex in a B & B? Its almost sacrosanct. At least motels are more anonoymous.
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    Jul 30, 2013 11:12 AM GMT
    As for the comment about turning up at 3am with half the football team - I'd be pretty pissed too! I think a motel would be as well. We are providing a service of quality accommodation. All providers of accommodation are offering a service of a bed and sometimes a breakfast - no one, whether a motel or a B&B should be treated like a 24 hour drive through!

    ^ ^ ^ ^
    A drive through? icon_mad.gif

    For your information.. We all arrived together..came together and left together!

    Btw.. I detect some weird tone in your post..

    "Drive Through".. It's like your'e saying i'm... I'm a.. I'm...Disorganized?
    Hm!! icon_evil.gif
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    Jul 30, 2013 12:47 PM GMT
    Depends on my plans, the reason I'm there. If it's an in-route travel hotel, just a place to sleep a single night while on the road, like last winter driving to and from New Hampshire, we choose the cheapest motels we can find.

    Our criteria is that it be close to the Interstate, be fairly new and clean, and have good restaurant choices nearby for a nice supper & early breakfast. We arrive and leave at dark, and if the place has any amenities like a pool or gym we wouldn't be using them, anyway, we need our energy for driving all day long.

    At a destination hotel, however, where we're going to be spending some time as part of our vacation, then it's a different story. When available we prefer a gay guest house or "resort" (most are really resorts in name only, that term in gayland often meaning that they're enclosed and private, allowing them to be clothing optional, but lacking most of the things one associates with a true multi-featured resort).

    And we do prefer a place that's exclusively gay, and clothing optional when available. We like the company of other gay men, love to socialize with them. And do like a man's privilege to shed our clothes in the absence of women, a custom from our older generation that applied to all men, not just gays, even mandatory at times. Which I know younger guys find alien, if not creepy.

    So at this "resort" we have an outdoor bar next to the pool and hot tub, some of the guys using them naked, and sunning naked, and sitting at the bar that way, too (and me at times). We've got basic bar food service, some nights have outdoor movies, and stage shows, and silly contests, DJ nights, all kinds of diversions.

    And here in Key West the rest of the world is right outside the gate, where we can mingle with the straights all we like, you don't have to be 100% isolated. You can have the best of both worlds.

    In fact, we invited a straight couple to sit down at an outdoor picnic bench with us at an oyster bar on Duval Street on Sunday, when we saw them looking for seats. They were from Louisville, Kentucky, and we swapped stories (I lived in Kentucky and bought my Harley in "Lu-ville"). We told them all about our SMART Ride charity, our bike ride down to Key West, indirectly making it clear we're a gay couple, and they gave us a cash donation for HIV/AIDS on the spot! I mean, we weren't even asking!

    My partner & I integrate very well with straights, I hope with everyone, actually. But at a guest house we prefer gays. Please don't judge or hate. At our ages we deserve our little pleasures, and since we get along with straights, too, I think we're entitled.
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    Jul 30, 2013 1:01 PM GMT
    guysers saidFor those of you that are poised at the ready to 'hit the spam button' for the mere mention of a website need to get a life. I have removed that post of good information, now the gay community are less informed about gay places to stay in New Zealand.


    Good
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 30, 2013 2:16 PM GMT
    "guysers said
    Oh, and anyone planning to holiday in New Zealand, the one-stop shop website of all the true gay owned and hosted B&Bs is www.gaystay.co.nz
    Its not a flashy website, but its functional!"

    I consider this to be the opposite of spam. I appreciate the useful information.

    Guysers, Write sometime about why you got into this business and what has been your experience of it so far. Don't leave out stories about the lunatics you've accommodated!

  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jul 30, 2013 11:20 PM GMT
    I feel very uncomfortable living with strangers.
    I prefer renting a condo, a hotel room, or a motel room, in that order.
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Jul 30, 2013 11:40 PM GMT
    If we're staying in a big city, its usually a hotel. Otherwise, if it's a vacation destination, I prefer a gay BnB if there is one. I enjoy being able to meet other guys (often couples) in a relaxed setting. Maybe interact with them, maybe not. Always stayed at gay BnBs in P-townm, and have stayed at them in Australia and New Zealand. My favorite gay Bnb is Casa Portagioia, in rural Tuscany. Really like a small hotel - all rooms have private entrances. Luxurious for a BnB. Great hosts. Been there several times.
    http://www.tuscanbreaks.com/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 31, 2013 3:35 AM GMT
    I find gay B&Bs way overpriced. I just pick out a nice moderate hotel. You are not at the hotel much anyway.
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    Jul 31, 2013 9:18 AM GMT
    NJDewd saidGuysers, I always was concerned like how do I have sex in a B & B? Its almost sacrosanct. At least motels are more anonoymous.


    Every one has their own room, our B&B guests have their own bathroom so no one is sharing, and we have our own living quarters. So really privacy is very much the same as a motel. I cannot speak for all B&Bs, but all our walls are soundproof so we cannot hear anything!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 31, 2013 9:28 AM GMT
    bradomo saidI find gay B&Bs way overpriced. I just pick out a nice moderate hotel. You are not at the hotel much anyway.


    For sure some B&Bs can be expensive, but often because they are offering something unique or something original or exclusive. For instance, an expensive B&B might have large grounds with amazing gardens, or their breakfasts might be culinary amazing, or they might offer eco tours included in the price, or it might be they offer a clothing optional environment - guys will pay more for this luxury alone!

    I cannot speak for B&Bs in America because I have never been. I know there are B&Bs in New Zealand that are more expensive than hotels or motels, but I have visited these B&Bs and they really are a cut above any motel or hotel.
    Our B&B on the other hand is actually about the same as a cheaper end motel, slightly dearer in some cases, but only by about $10. But our rooms, decore and amenities are above the standards of most motels in New Zealand.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 31, 2013 12:10 PM GMT
    Guysers, You sound like you love what you do. For that alone I'd rather stay at your place.

    My partner and I do so much business travel that we're in hotels constantly. It's refreshing to be somewhere that doesn't remind us of work.

    The other advantage of guesthouse stays is that you guys tend to know your local area really well. When we're traveling for fun we want to explore.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 31, 2013 12:23 PM GMT
    Wherever your travels take you, check out your facility first:

    http://www.bedbugregistry.com/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 31, 2013 12:31 PM GMT
    If am travelling by myself then am going to stay in a hotel, esp since am going to be out most of the time. If am going to go somewhere with someone special then a gay B&B would be a preference.
  • JuneauMike

    Posts: 326

    Jul 31, 2013 3:57 PM GMT
    Parker House B&B in San Francisco is amazing! Assuming they have the same owners as in the early 2000s. Everything is clean, polished and the owners are very attentive. Near, but not in, the Castro.

    Likewise, La Posada in Palm Springs, CA. (clothing optional resort) is also amazing! Kind of a cross between a hotel and a B&B. Has a pool and a hot tub. They cater to a lot of the little details, everything from an "honor bar" to books and films available to borrow.

    These are just two examples. A little secret here. As someone who has worked in several hotels, by and large the staff wants you to be out of sight and mind. Once you check in, they want you to fend for yourself. B&Bs are much better at making you feel at home.
  • BlackBeltGuy

    Posts: 2609

    Jul 31, 2013 4:20 PM GMT
    B&B are cool the only thing I never liked was sharing a main entrance. In my opinion,it is just better when you have a separate entrance.
    In palm springs place when large amounts of friends come out and visit they stay in hybrid places which are a cross between a B&B and a resort which is nice.
    separate entrances, spa, clothing optional etc

    Hotels & Motels are best bet for big city stays.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 01, 2013 1:33 AM GMT
    guysers said
    NJDewd saidGuysers, I always was concerned like how do I have sex in a B & B? Its almost sacrosanct. At least motels are more anonoymous.


    Every one has their own room, our B&B guests have their own bathroom so no one is sharing, and we have our own living quarters. So really privacy is very much the same as a motel. I cannot speak for all B&Bs, but all our walls are soundproof so we cannot hear anything!


    Ok, whew!