Why is showing your true emotions so stigmatized?

  • linvect96

    Posts: 22

    Jul 31, 2013 9:43 PM GMT
    I just want to lash out on this guy for really hurting me over the past few months and treating me like an afterthought...he's tried to toe the line of being friends because we have lots of friends in common but he KNOWS that I like him and he has lead me on massively...I know that there are no prospects for a relationship now, and he's told me and other people that he wants to be friends with me, but we haven't had a proper conversation about this and he still does things that are incredibly painful to me, like blatantly ignoring me and not acknowledging me, and I know that it's because he can't own up to his own behavior and have the courage to have a mature conversation with me.

    With that said, I've worked so hard to keep all of my feelings at bay and not show him just how much he has gotten to me, just how much I like him, and how upset I am about the whole thing. But I really deep down just want him to know...is it strange to always want to be able to level with people on a very direct way? I feel like I can't have a real interaction with so many guys because they refuse to open themselves up and be direct. And if I do, they think I'm "crazy" for having all of these thoughts, feelings, etc. I don't think I'm crazy, I think I'm a normal person with feelings...


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 31, 2013 9:46 PM GMT
    In short:

    ---Straight guy's suck!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 31, 2013 9:50 PM GMT
    linvect96 saidI just want to lash out on this guy for really hurting me over the past few months and treating me like an afterthought...he's tried to toe the line of being friends because we have lots of friends in common but he KNOWS that I like him and he has lead me on massively...I know that there are no prospects for a relationship now, and he's told me and other people that he wants to be friends with me, but we haven't had a proper conversation about this and he still does things that are incredibly painful to me, like blatantly ignoring me and not acknowledging me, and I know that it's because he can't own up to his own behavior and have the courage to have a mature conversation with me.

    With that said, I've worked so hard to keep all of my feelings at bay and not show him just how much he has gotten to me, just how much I like him, and how upset I am about the whole thing. But I really deep down just want him to know...is it strange to always want to be able to level with people on a very direct way? I feel like I can't have a real interaction with so many guys because they refuse to open themselves up and be direct. And if I do, they think I'm "crazy" for having all of these thoughts, feelings, etc. I don't think I'm crazy, I think I'm a normal person with feelings...





    I see how you feel and I relate to you. How do you know if this person is gay though?
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 31, 2013 9:52 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidIn short:

    ---Straight guy's suck!!!!

    Who said he's straight?icon_confused.gif

    OP, a lot of guys can seem heartless. If he really wanted to be friends, he'd care about how he's making you feel. Try not to waste too much time pining over him, or waiting for him to be more mature.
  • linvect96

    Posts: 22

    Jul 31, 2013 9:59 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidIn short:

    ---Straight guy's suck!!!!


    He is definitely not straight, that was never the issue?

    If he wasn't in my friend group I'd have forgotten about him and moved on, but the fact that he's always going to be around in social settings is going to make it painful for me to have to hold down all of these feelings and feel like I've been trampled over.

    I admit, it's my ego, I feel like I've been offended, wronged, didn't get what I wanted, but he went about it in a really obnoxious way and I want a mixture of closure / satisfaction knowing that he acknowledges he was an asshole.
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    Jul 31, 2013 10:02 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    dustin_K_tx saidIn short:

    ---Straight guy's suck!!!!

    Who said he's straight?icon_confused.gif


    **my Spidey sense

    --Straight/g0y/str8-acting
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    Jul 31, 2013 10:19 PM GMT
    I picked up on str8 in that on my first read too. Too many falling in love with str8 guy stories, I suppose.

    But to the OP, this guy not reacting to feelings you're not sharing is not him being off-putting. It sounds like you're living all this in your own head. You'll need to talk to him to find out what's real and what isn't.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jul 31, 2013 10:30 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx said
    HottJoe said
    dustin_K_tx saidIn short:

    ---Straight guy's suck!!!!

    Who said he's straight?icon_confused.gif


    **my Spidey sense

    --Straight/g0y/str8-acting

    He sounds a big flaming biatch to me!
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jul 31, 2013 10:35 PM GMT
    I know you're hurt ... but you have no authority over others lives .... every one is the author of their own life ... all you can control is you. I think you have unrealistic exceptions of this guy, and you need to exam you, instead of him. What exactly do you want to do, chain the guy in a room until you are able to force him to love you. You can't do that, it is not right to control others. You wouldn't want someone that you have no feelings of love for, to have unrealistic expectations of you ... would you?