who else care less about the sexual side of the relationship?

• meezo
  
  Posts: 121
  
  
  Jul 31, 2013 10:20 PM GMT

  hey all,
  I am just curious if there is a lot of gay people like me, as the sexual side of a relationship"especially if it is long term" is not the thing that I care the most in the relation.
  I am very romantic & emotional,& I have a strong desire & need for the other guy to hug me & look at me & smile for me & keep hugging me and sleep with each other hugging and holding our hands etc... without having sex ...etc(I feel embarrassed to express my feelings and I don,t like to express them but for the purpose of clarifying the issue)
  and I noticed that this is a turn off for a lot of guys (maybe just in the Middle East where I live) who just care for sex and they find this weird or they misunderstand these things as if the person has a sort of sexual dysfunction or something(although they may find me very hot,but they don,t like it)>>which upset me a lot because I think the most important thing about gay relations is emotional connection between the two guys in the relation.
  
  I will be happy to know your opinions
  thank u all

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  Jul 31, 2013 10:28 PM GMT

  My first 10 year guy and I were very sexually compatible though I wasn't all he needed, being a practicing bisexual. My 2nd 10 year guy and I were not sexually compatible. Both, by that, were comfortably open relationships so that we'd be sexually satisfied.
  
  I've never felt that one person necessarily fulfills all the needs of another. Some people find "the perfect package" and I think that's wonderful (well, truthfully, I think mostly they're deluding themselves, but that's another topic). If I found someone sexually compatible probably I'd even prefer monogamy but sexual compatibility is not my first priority. I find connections of understanding--of two people who just get each other and who enjoy each other's company--to be a stronger bond than sexual attraction.

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  Aug 01, 2013 2:25 AM GMT

  Hey Meezo.. We spoke before and what I do know is that you are an extremely passionate man.
  
  ..I have met quite a few gay couples and it's interesting to find the binding factor between pairs goes far beyond an emotional connection.
  
  *Unconditional acceptance. ("He loves me no matter what")
  *Availability. ("He is always there for me")
  *Progressive dynamics.("He is the only one that can keep up with me")
  
  I have also met couples that revealed.."we chose each other and do whatever it takes to make it work"
  
  If you think about it.. Is it really about an emotional connection?
  Or is it about mutual understanding and a nurtured bond?
  
  Nice to see you around Meezo..
  Anocxu
  
  

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• Rhi_Bran
  
  Posts: 911
  
  
  Aug 01, 2013 3:09 AM GMT

  I've come to find that having sex before getting to know the other guy tends to break my emotions. It's not guilt, and it's not shame, but kind of like the kid who peeks at his Christmas presents it always ends up feeling anticlimactic.
  
  That's not a snark at any guy I've been with - but I do feel strange when I skip the emotional bonding stage and go straight to the bedroom. A vague sense of having passed over something very important as well as surrendering any chance of knowing what it was.
  
  Don't get me wrong, I like sex. But it's never fun for me unless the other guy cares and isn't just using me to get off. I'm just less inclined to bare my body than my heart, I suppose.
  
  But what do I know, I've only ever been in one relationship...

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  Aug 01, 2013 3:12 AM GMT

  Have sex isn't significant to me... i prefer just a person who we just can have a good time together, talking about the day, our life also about music, watching some good movie, make some jokes and things like that... that's the best realtionship!!!!

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  Aug 01, 2013 3:17 AM GMT

  It all depends, sometimes sex is easier to come by than a nice guy who cares about you so some guys might crave it less when they are single. However, unless you have a really low sex drive and so does your partner, you can normally expect things to go down hill no matter how much you care for one another. There is nothing wrong with having good friends. There is also nothing wrong with having sex the first time you meet a guy as long as you feel comfortable with him.

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  Aug 01, 2013 3:51 AM GMT

  Didn't bother reading your post, but the initial question yes, I'd rather have love than sex. That is what I want most.

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  Aug 01, 2013 4:24 AM GMT

  I think sex is an important part of the relationship, but not key. Granted I've never had a relationship or sex with anyone yet, but personally and at this current time that is what I believe. One of the things that I've wanted since I began to develop an interest in guys was someone who would always be there for me. For a lot of my life I've always felt alone, I want someone that I can believe would never leave me. Once I have that, everything else falls into place I suppose.

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• Apparition
  
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  Aug 01, 2013 4:43 AM GMT

  just make sure you TELL any future partners that you dont like sex. It is just torture dating someone who doesnt like sex when it is your JOB as bf. You should expect all the other stuff too. Anything less is defective. Both partners should know what they want and make those needs known. The default expectation at a bf interview is that sex is part of the deal, so make sure you tell anyone that isnt what you want.
  
  

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• meezo
  
  Posts: 121
  
  
  Aug 01, 2013 12:11 PM GMT

  Anocxu saidHey Meezo.. We spoke before and what I do know is that you are an extremely passionate man.
  
  ..I have met quite a few gay couples and it's interesting to find the binding factor between pairs goes far beyond an emotional connection.
  
  *Unconditional acceptance. ("He loves me no matter what")
  *Availability. ("He is always there for me")
  *Progressive dynamics.("He is the only one that can keep up with me")
  
  I have also met couples that revealed.."we chose each other and do whatever it takes to make it work"
  
  If you think about it.. Is it really about an emotional connection?
  Or is it about mutual understanding and a nurtured bond?
  
  Nice to see you around Meezo..
  Anocxu
  
  

  
  Hey Anoxcu
  nice to see you around and thank you for your reply
  I think it is a combination of both>>the emotional connection and the sense of responsibility that every partner carries to make the relation continue and to understand each other...etc>>and also maybe it depends on every relation,we can,t generalize

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• meezo
  
  Posts: 121
  
  
  Aug 01, 2013 12:16 PM GMT

  Thank u all for your opinions
  It is nice to see that many think& feel that way
  and of course every one has to be clear and honest before starting a relationship
  

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  Aug 01, 2013 1:14 PM GMT

  Sex isn't everything. Infact, I cannot have sex if I'm not completely head-over-heels mad about him. I would prefer to cherish other moments, be it reading somehing together, playing a game, snuggling, a date, so on and so forth.

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