when did you "stop caring"?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 01, 2013 3:11 PM GMT
    when was the first time you really and truly didn't care what people thought about your sexuality? For me has been the last 2 years I slowly started to not care what others thought of me and transformed into the person who I was born to be. most everyone I know, I have came out to, for my own sake. each time it got easier. I can go to work and not wonder if I'll be found out or outted. I love all the decisions I have made. In order to be courageous, you first have to be vulnerable.


    give some insight so I can further myself by the words your stories.
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    Aug 01, 2013 3:17 PM GMT
    More than 20 years.
  • Latenight30

    Posts: 1525

    Aug 01, 2013 3:33 PM GMT
    Depends on the circumstances. I guess because of my work in the Arts it's never been a huge deal. I would say almost 18 years it hasn't mattered. I'm still finding who I am and want to be in the community.
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    Aug 01, 2013 3:42 PM GMT
    What my family thinks of me still makes me sad. I think that's why I stopped caring.
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    Aug 01, 2013 4:14 PM GMT
    Aged 16.
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    Aug 01, 2013 5:34 PM GMT
    Probably when I turned 30
  • secondstartot...

    Posts: 1314

    Aug 01, 2013 5:53 PM GMT
    I knew I was gay at the age of 13 at 14 I came out - and I have always been proud of who I am...I wont say I did not care - I was an attention whore and used my not usual sexuality to get the attention I desired - I would walk around high school with pink triangles stuck to my sleeve...I have never hid who I am it was many years later at the turn of the century actually that I decided to just chill and not act for attention so much ....this was because I found work could get me attention instead.....there is another side to this...no one ever had to wonder if I was gay or not so they knew I was available ...you wont believe how many "straight" boys wanted to experiment with me....
    thing is I like my own company I have never needed the company of others I like company but i don't need it....so my attitude is either you accept me or you fuck off simple as that
    it is AMAZING how quickly people will accept you if you do not give them any other choice
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    Aug 01, 2013 6:08 PM GMT
    It wasn't so much what others thought as what I thought. It took me a loooooooooooooog time to get over what I thought.
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    Aug 01, 2013 6:47 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidIt wasn't so much what others thought as what I thought. It took me a loooooooooooooog time to get over what I thought.


    I'd say this applies in a lot of cases.
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    Aug 01, 2013 6:48 PM GMT
    Lord_Trollileo saidSummer of 2012. When I was 21.


    Good for you! I'm glad we are in a time and place where younger people are comfortable enough to come out earlier and earlier in life. Maybe one day I will feel comfortable enough to come out at work.
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    Aug 01, 2013 6:58 PM GMT
    I couldn't personally tell people I know but I can tell my friends but who weren't exactly my close friends. I told them because I can trust them and it was when I was 15 at school.
  • mindblank

    Posts: 275

    Aug 01, 2013 7:07 PM GMT
    That's great, we're all delighted for you. icon_razz.gif

    You say that in order to be courageous you first make yourself vulnerable? I agree, but I think that people are all coming from different circumstances to the point where we are all at different levels of vulnerability. You need to find a bit of confidence and find your groove a little before you can come out in total security. Otherwise you can take a huge risk. Once you're feeling secure and safe in your own skin then coming out is easy.
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    Aug 01, 2013 7:10 PM GMT
    Blakes7 said
    Lord_Trollileo saidSummer of 2012. When I was 21.


    Good for you! I'm glad we are in a time and place where younger people are comfortable enough to come out earlier and earlier in life. Maybe one day I will feel comfortable enough to come out at work.


    While I haven't made an official announcement at work, I'm sure they know since I brought my guy to the Christmas dinner and talk about him. It hasn't been a big deal, but every work environment is different.
  • mindblank

    Posts: 275

    Aug 01, 2013 7:11 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidIt wasn't so much what others thought as what I thought. It took me a loooooooooooooog time to get over what I thought.


    Since recent conversations I've had with people I'd even re-state that for me personally: "it wasn't so much what others thought but what I thought they thought". I used to hurt every time something negative about gays was said. The people who said those things now don't even know they said them, and I think we just have to forgive and forget. But I did remind them of the harm their (empty) words had. That was/is my experience.
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    Aug 01, 2013 7:14 PM GMT
    Unnamed4 said
    Unnamed4 said
    Lord_Trollileo saidSummer of 2012. When I was 21.

    I knew it.


    Finally got something right in my head so far! But switch people, to the first person singular.
    Will you leave him the fuck alone....he doesn't want your help...and you fucken know nothing. You are a sad pathetic schizophrenic who should be locked up.
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    Aug 01, 2013 7:20 PM GMT
    Unnamed4 said
    RadRTT said
    Unnamed4 said
    Unnamed4 said
    Lord_Trollileo saidSummer of 2012. When I was 21.

    I knew it.


    Finally got something right in my head so far! But switch people, to the first person singular.
    Will you leave him the fuck alone....he doesn't want your help...and you fucken know nothing. You are a sad pathetic schizophrenic who should be locked up.


    It's just that I never got anything really right or confirmed about him until now. I didn't even think it was a month per se, but a season, and a lot of postings during that time indicated such, but I just couldn't confirm as well.

    And I actually happy that I got something right for once.
    You are a sad sad sad human being.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 01, 2013 7:31 PM GMT
    I was okay with being open about it the moment I found out I was gay. To be fair, I didn't really consider it until I was out of high school a little over a year ago, and it took some time for me to finally realize it as reality.

    It was never a secret, though.
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    Aug 01, 2013 7:40 PM GMT
    I was having lunch with Bob Paris when he asked if I was out. I was shocked. But said "no". I told me if I wanted to keep him as a friend I had to come out publicly before the end of the day. So I did. It was Bob Paris
  • BzoneNY

    Posts: 23

    Aug 01, 2013 7:43 PM GMT
    Not there yet, not sure if I'll ever be. Sexuality is one giant, confusing amalgamation anyway. But I am generally not comfortable holding my boyfriend's hand in public, much to his dismay. Granted if I'm in certain places I will feel more comfortable, like Manhattan. But even now with all of the recent homophobia in the city, I will generally only do it in the gayborhoods like Chelsea and the Village. I don't care what others think of me, I'm just still not fully comfortable with the idea I guess, and would like to not have someone yell mean things at me and ruin my day just for being myself...icon_confused.gif
  • Eric500

    Posts: 18

    Aug 01, 2013 7:51 PM GMT
    I'm still caring as well...icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 01, 2013 7:53 PM GMT
    BzoneNY saidNot there yet, not sure if I'll ever be. Sexuality is one giant, confusing amalgamation anyway. But I am generally not comfortable holding my boyfriend's hand in public, much to his dismay. Granted if I'm in certain places I will feel more comfortable, like Manhattan. But even now with all of the recent homophobia in the city, I will generally only do it in the gayborhoods like Chelsea and the Village. I don't care what others think of me, I'm just still not fully comfortable with the idea I guess, and would like to not have someone yell mean things at me and ruin my day just for being myself...icon_confused.gif


    I felt the same way about this
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    Aug 01, 2013 8:00 PM GMT
    BzoneNY saidNot there yet, not sure if I'll ever be. Sexuality is one giant, confusing amalgamation anyway. But I am generally not comfortable holding my boyfriend's hand in public, much to his dismay. Granted if I'm in certain places I will feel more comfortable, like Manhattan. But even now with all of the recent homophobia in the city, I will generally only do it in the gayborhoods like Chelsea and the Village. I don't care what others think of me, I'm just still not fully comfortable with the idea I guess, and would like to not have someone yell mean things at me and ruin my day just for being myself...icon_confused.gif


    When anyone yells "faggots" or any other derogatory words at my BF and me as we walk down the street we just laugh and shout back that they should tell us something we don't already know. I don't let it ruin my day.

    It rarely happens though.
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    Aug 01, 2013 8:03 PM GMT

    I came out my junior year in high school. Before that, I wasn't emotionally or physically attracted to guys. You could say it was an interesting year for me...
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    Aug 01, 2013 10:32 PM GMT
    15 June 2013, about 11:00am.
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    Aug 01, 2013 10:36 PM GMT
    Sungod17 said15 June 2013, about 11:00am.


    You knew the exact time and date?